FROM NEVER TO HAPPILY EVER!

12.

One week later

Noor's  POV

" You are supposed to distribute all of that with your own hands among the people just the day before Chand raat ( The night when moon comes up before Eid, a festival Muslim's celebrate). Because you are a Durrani bahu (daughter in law) now, it will solely be your responsibility to make sure the grains and new clothes are distributed among the townspeople back in Dawer. Your mother and I want you to spend the month of Ramadan here with us in the mansion. It has become so lonely without you guys."

"I got you taima. This is the second time in five minutes you briefed me over what are  my responsibilities as a Durrani bahu  now. Don't worry, I will do all of it. But about the living in Durrani mansion part, you will have to talk to your son."

I hear taima sighing at the other end of the call, " Fine, hand over the phone to him. It's been a while since I last spoke to my son. Let's ask him if you are taking good care of him or not."

Oh God! How will I face him now. It's been one whole week to that fight we had and he made sure to not come before me. Now I have to go to his room   to give him the phone. He has been ignoring me as royally as possible. I don't want to do this. But I can't even tell taima he isn't home, because she knows they wrap up the office work after 7.

"Noorie, are you okay? I have been calling you for so long now?"

"Huh, yes taima. I am fine. Sorry I just zoned out for a while there. Let's check what your son has to say about me fulfilling my responsibilities. " I am already halfway towards his room. I knock once I reach, but there is no response so I open the door.

Zaan is busy with his laptop, so I clear my throat to get his attention. His eyes snap up at me and he averts them in a nanosecond. I gesture towards my hand, ' taima' I mouth.

He picks the phone from the other end  making sure not to touch me. He begins speaking to her after getting up from the bed. I can't help but notice the way his muscles flex as he rakes his fingers through his already disheveled hair. I notice from my peripheral vision the dark circles under his eyes. That is a first, he is always conscious about his looks.

The black t-shirt he is wearing is displaying the taut muscles of his abs. I have an urgent need to run my hands through them. His chiseled jawline sending sparks across my belly as he talks to his mom in his deep voice. The respect he has for her is one of the few things I love about him.

I snap out of my reverie, when I see he has ended the call. I want him to turn around and look at me. I want him to tell me we are going to distribute the food and clothes together. I am hoping he will atleast confirm the plans about going to Durrani Mansion. But he does none of them. He places my phone on the bed and walks out of the room with his laptop in hand.

I slump my shoulder against the wall closest to me. This is what's going on ever since I came back to the penthouse  five days ago. Ashfa insited I stay at her house for two more days so I calm down completely and I get the time to think properly.

He never called to check up on me in  those two days. And he claimed he likes me. I don't know if he was saying the truth. It was so difficult to come out of that self-loathing phase. I was at the brink of losing my sanity, thinking I would never be forgiven in the court of Allah for what I did. But that one dream brought the answers to my unasked questions with it.

I met her in my dreams after eight years. My bestie. The one who always knew about my pain without me voicing it out. She was the first who discovered my love for Zaan. My dadima (grandmother).

The dream

I feel the winds rushing past me, leaving a cool and soothing effect behind. The rose petals keep falling from somewhere above. I can't make out exactly how they are falling. Just then I see blinding light coming towards me at a fast pace. I have to close my eyes to avoid the intense amount of light falling on my face. By the time I open them again, I spot her. I am shocked, I last saw her eight years ago taking her last breathes in her bedroom holding her one hand in mine and other was in Izaan's hand. Her eyes set on the two of us as a soft smile graced her before she stopped breathing.

"Dadima!" I rush towards her, hoping to feel the warmth of her embrace again.

"Meri bachi (My baby)", she cocoons me in her embrace with both her arms around me like she always does.

"Pareshan kyun ho?( What is troubling you?) You are my strong bacha. Then what has happened to you?"

"I have committed grave sins dadima. My love for Zaan compelled me to go against my own principles. I am shattered dadima.", I sob out telling every pain to her like I always did.

"If it's taking you on the wrong path, leading to self-loathing it is not love my child. Always remember prosperity is not achieving your goal but the attainment of peace after hardship. If you are compelled to do something against your own principles  with the motive of hurting someone, then it is ego. Don't mix ego with your hurt."

"But dadima, he never reciprocated my immense love for him. Infact, he never even noticed it. Am I that undeserving?"

"No beta, you deserve every beautiful thing that Allah has written in your  destiny. But love is selfless. It doesn't expect to be reciprocated. It doesn't ask for attention. It most certainly doesn't hurt its mehboob (beloved) in a bid to get back at him. That's not how it works. You understand the purity of this emotion, don't you? Selfless devotion is the highest form love can take. After all, what is love without the pain?"

"Thank you dadima! I understand now the blunder I have caused. For a while there, I was even doubting my love for him. It felt as though I was being chained and hauled around a lawn full of thorns. I wanted to hurt him back just as bad. But I failed to realise I had let my ego overpower my love. That you so much!"

"You are a smart girl Noorie. Always remember Allah is the best of forgivers.  You repent for it and he grants you solace as means of forgiveness. When you finally feel free of the burden, you know he has forgiven you."

" I missed you so much dadima. I will pray for you to be granted a better place in jannah" and before I could hug her again, her figure vanishes in thin air. As though she wasn't here to begin with.

I look up again, I will always cherish your opinion dadima. I open my eyes, I can't stop the tears streaming down my face. I feel something different near my head. I turn around to see a dent in the wall. It looks someone has punched it.

Please don't tell me Zaan burst his knuckles due to this. I had noticed the purplish skin forming over them when I returned. God, what kind of a wife am I ? I couldn't even see my husband was in pain. I walk towards his bedside drawers to see if there is an ointment I can apply on his hands. I open one at the right side, there is a jai-namaz ( The mat on which prayers are offered by Muslims) in it. Is he reading salah?

Oh my God, I can't be anymore happier than this. Before I can keep it back, rhere is a shiny blue box in the corner of the drawer.

Curiosity gets the best of me, I pick it up and open to see the most beautiful pair of couple rings in it. One has square diamond with stones adorning its corners and another one is similar to it but got a more manly look. It is also bigger in size. On looking closely, there is a something written on the inside of it.

Noor's man.

My heart skips multiple beats at that. I quickly search for the script on the other ring.

Zaan's girl.

Oh God! This man is going to kill me someday.