FROM NEVER TO HAPPILY EVER!

19.

Aman Aly Haider.

She flinched. She fucking flinched at my voice. Is she scared of me now? Does she already hate me after listening to Raniya? She should. She should hate my guts, I am not a man worthy enough to keep her. She deserves better than a broken man, who had the blood of his own wife on his hands.

"Did you not hear me the first time? I said get lost." I shout again, banging my hand on the wall. She steps back in fear, and I can't help but cringe at myself internally for scaring away the only good thing in my life.

Please don't go, don't leave me alone. My own monstrous thoughts will kill me. I can't take this anymore. I need you Jass, I need you so bad.

I can't voice out those thoughts though. I can't afford to. I turn my back on her, hoping she leaves but praying with everything in me she doesn't. I am a fucked up man.

I hear steps getting closer and I curse at myself for being elated. She never disappoints me, never. I feel soft hands wrap around my torso and something within me clicks. Right now, at this very instant I know I am in love. The deep rooted, forever kind of love. The kind that I haven't felt before, not with anyone.

The whirlwind of thoughts running in my brain stop, the pumping of my heart on the other hand seems to fasten it's pace. Something rushes throughout my body, I know its the aura of peace. She does that to me, she can be a wanton woman behaving like uncivilized brats when I am being boring and can be the vast calm sea, taking away all my anger with a mere touch of hers.

She fits perfectly in my life like a lost puzzle piece. I close my eyes, taking in as much as I could of her strong womanly warmth that holds the leash to all my desires. The only problem is, I am not the man she thinks I am. When she will know who I am, she will hate me and I would rather have her away from me than her hating me.

"Tujhe ek baar mein baat samajh nahin aati? Dur reh tu mujhse."
I jerk her body away from mine, walking away from my solace. Atleast as far as I could get without breaking down. She holds my wrist, turning it towards her. I hear her sob as she examined my hand. With furrowed eyebrows, I turn towards her only to see her eyes trained on my swollen hand. There is a reddish brown scum on my fingers, her tears fall on my hand incessantly as she continues to weep clutching it close to her heart.

Ek hi to dil hai, kitni baar jeetogi Jass.

I wipe her tears with the other hand, and for some reason she begins weeping more. I frown, trying to raise her chin but she just cries keeping her head down.

"Rona band kar Jass. Kya hogaya tujhe?" She wouldn't stop and just kept crying and crying. Is this girl crazy? Aise to ye behosh ho jayegi ro ro kar.

"Amyra Sadaf! Rona band kar abhi isi waqt." I state sternly and she just shakes her head in denial.

"Main nai stop karungi. Tum kahan meri baat sunte ho ki main tumhari sunun. Maine aur rona hai." She babbles like a child, wiping her snot against my shirt and I am too shocked to even cringe at her act.

She pulls me to the bed climbing on top of me, she hugs me very tightly, it almost suffocatted me.

Once her cries die down, she sniffles against my shirt and gets up bringing a tube which I am assuming she is going to apply to my wound. Even though there is plenty of space beside me on the bed, she chooses to sit on my lap with a cute frown as she applied the antiseptic on me.

"Tu mujhse ab tak kuch chupa raha hai tere pichle rishte ke baare mein. Dosti ka pehla usool hota hai no secrets, lekin tune kya kiya? Usse bhi tod diya. Mujhe bata kya hua tha tere aur Saniya ke beech mein."