WALLFLOWER

CHAPTER 23

Win is getting discharged today. It's been 10 days after Win opened his eyes. His recovery was very fast. He regained his energy and strength. He went through physiotherapy and is able to walk now though his right hand is still in the sling.

I am happy ... very happy for him but I am feeling a bit uncomfortable today. I still don't know what I am to him. I don't know if he has accepted my apology or not. I don't know if I have a small place in his life or not.

We never discussed this topic again. The topic never came up. I was too afraid to ask him again and win never took this topic again.

We were together always all these days. He never asked me to go away or never made me uncomfortable, but in fact he always asked me to accompany him for all his tests and therapy. Still, I have this nagging feeling in my mind. I can't believe that he will forgive me this easily. A voice in my mind tells me that he deserves better, far better person than me and this is not helping me in any way.

I realized that, our situation is flipped. Now, I am the one waiting for the day when he finally realizes that I am not worth and pushes me away. I know deep down that, I will go away without a complaint as I know for sure that I am not at all worth and he deserves the best.

There is a war going on between my brain and my heart always or rather two halves of my heart. A half wants to free him so that he can find the best and the other half wants to cling to him and beg him to make a small place for me in his life. I am not sure which part is winning but I am really afraid that I will let go even without a fight.

We are all packed and bills are all settled. We are all ready and waiting for Earn to come pick him up. Win is sitting on the bed browsing through his mobile. I am fidgeting in the settee with the throw pillows. I want to ask him but I open my mouth only to find my throat all dry and no sound coming out.

No, I have to know. I need to ask him. I can't take this anymore. I can't take this silence.

I cleared my throat and with all my courage left, I call him.

"W..win", win looks up at me and I open my mouth again but the door is flung open and Pearl comes running inside interrupting me.

I don't understand if I am irritated or relieved. I am sure I am more relieved than irritated as I was not ready.

"Ready to come home Dad?" pearl is literally jumping with excitement.

"Yes Love, can't wait." Win replied hugging her.

They are going back to their home. Earn wanted to take them to her house but Win was adamant that he will be fine at his house.

Ofcourse, Win won.

So, the arrangement was made for Earn to come visit them daily.

"All set then? The car is ready. We will go?" Earn asked win and he nodded with a smile.

"Come then, the car is at the basement." Earn said and started to move out of the room with pearl and a bag.

I know I am to follow her with the rest of the luggage but I can't make myself move.

I am having a feeling of lost. I am having a feeling that I am going to loose some thing important to me if I don't open my mouth right that moment.

I was about to open my mouth, but another knock on the door interrupted me again but it was Earth and Film this time and this time I really felt irritated. It took all my strength to not hit Earth and Film for their bad timing.

They did come few times after Win gained his consciousness and they were readily forgiven.

I was jealous of them.