Fire On Fire [TK]

(15) Reckless Abandon

"Sweet disposition
Never too soon
Oh, reckless abandon
Like no one's watching you"

  — Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap

❀

— Jk — 

Life drained into brown hues ushering in the start of autumn. Their cramped dorm, sweltering with the heat during the summer, now had freshness seeping in through the windows, the breeze turning chilly by night-time. Thick clouds were beginning to form in the distance, the weather quite contrary to what the sun during the day had led people to believe.

Jeongguk sat on the freshly mowed grass, leaning against the trunk of a ginkgo tree. In these early September days, the vibrant green leaves slowly faded to yellow around their edges. Shaped like delicate fans, they fluttered down, brushing the ground in golden whispers.

Between the dorm and the company building (and PDogg's garage), Hakdong Park had become one of their calming spots.

The swings and benches had all heard their whispered confessions, the flowers witnessed their breakdowns, and the trees had provided them with silent support while they endured.

Jeongguk's senses dulled into a faded tranquillity as he breathed in the scent of nature, damp earth, faint hints of chrysanthemums from nearby gardens, and let the quietness of the park fill him. His body was sore, muscles stiff from another long day of training. But what ached more was the constant hum of self-doubt that had been dogging him for weeks. He just needed some time alone, which was probably the one non-negotiable requirement of an introvert: to ponder over their shame and despair in seclusion.
He needed the sunshine, the moonlight, the night sky, and the soft grass beneath him, with a slow breeze caressing his face, without companions, without conversation, face to face with himself, with only the music of his heart for company.

His birthday had passed the previous week. Max, Ben, Lucas, and Adam had pitched in and sent him a cake. They had been sad with Jeongguk's decision to stay back in Korea, but then melted with the thought of Jeongguk finally debuting as an idol and becoming a superstar someday. Jeongguk had laughed at that.

Now only the seven of them were the trainees left in the company, and it had been announced that they would be debuting as an idol group sometime in the future.

A very distant future, if you asked Jeongguk.

Yoongi had been visibly pissed about it. "They tricked me," he had been muttering every passing minute. He and Namjoon were not expecting that being an idol was in the offering. They wanted to be rappers and producers, not pop idols who wore shiny clothes and pastel hair and grooved on stage in sync. It was put across that being an idol had more chances of success, and their CEO gave them all free rein, under reasonable directions, to write and produce their own songs whenever they wanted to.

When Jeongguk really thought about it, none of them were ideal idol material. Some could rap, some could sing, some could dance, and some could do a bit of everything. In one of his encounters with Bang SiHyuk, their cartoonish looking CEO had told them they did not need a perfect individual; they needed a perfect team.

And yet, the times for individual practices was increased tenfold.

Now, they had to learn complex choreographies as a team: memorize positions, change spots, perform stunts, and get in perfect sync, on top of mastering vocal stabilization while they did all that. The road seemed bleak when half of the members were not professional dancers. They were dancing as a chore, or like a lesson to be learned, but not something out of their own passion.