A week passed with no sign of my younger self, but it brought a whole new wave of anxiety. I was hyper-vigilant, constantly looking out the windows and sitting on my bed, staring into space. I imagined scenarios where my uncle would attack me and tried to think of what I would do now. I wouldn't just take it. I would fight back. Wouldn't I? A cruel part of my mind whispered mercilessly that I would stay still as I always did, or that my fighting would be in vain.
He's stronger, my brain reminded me. You're nothing.
On Friday morning, I borrow a stack of post-It notes from the kitchen downstairs and began countering the thoughts as they came to my mind. When I insulted myself, I wrote the exact opposite of the insults. They became compliments that I could use to affirm myself. I placed them around the edges of my mirror, reading them aloud as I went.
You are valuable.
You are innocent.
You are loved.
You are strong.
You are worth it.
You are brave.
You WILL fight back. Every day.
I tried to ignore the voice that refuted these and argued with them. I wouldn't listen to that voice anymore if I could help it.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket as I posted the last one at the top of my mirror. I pulled it out and smiled.
Still coming tonight?
I texted Magnus back quickly.
Wouldn't miss it!
It was true. I could use some time to unwind and be with friends, even if it meant seeing Asher. He had yet to reply to my text, which had told me all I needed to know. I was done with him, even if the thought of his eyes and smile still sent flutters to my chest.
The real problem tonight wasn't going to be him.
I had begged Charlotte to go out, telling her that I was hanging with some girl friends at one of their houses. She finally agreed, after making me promise that one of the boys could pick me up and drop me off. Dominic agreed and reassured her that he would wait nearby while I had fun. I had no intentions of being babysat tonight, but I accepted knowing that she wouldn't budge on it.
The real problem was figuring out how to get to the party and lose him.
YOU ARE READING
Maya (Book #3)
Teen FictionJust when Maya thought it was possible to outrun her past, he caught up with her once more. Maya's uncle had been on the run ever since that terrible night so many months ago. She thought she was safe with her new family and protective older brother...
