Maya (Book #3)

Chapter 48

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, so I spent my time doing insignificant tasks and watching the clock. I cleaned my mirrors and reorganized my clothes and even went so far as to change where my furniture was positioned around my room. For the remaining hours, I watched Netflix and played pointless games on my phone until I was groaning with boredom. Finally, the sun crested, and the sky lit a dazzling orange as the day began.

Hours later, I heard my family begin to exit their rooms and head downstairs for breakfast. I paced anxiously as I rehearsed my speech one more time in my head and then walked down to meet them there.

I could hear them all chatting in the kitchen except for Damon, who stepped out of his room at the same time as me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked down the steps without a word. I squeezed my arms in awkwardly, avoiding his affection. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, he ruffled my hair and headed into the kitchen with everyone else. 

I walked past the dining room but stopped before going through the doorway and closed my eyes. I could feel my heart pounding uncontrollably in my chest and heat flushed through me at the thought of speaking to them all. I tried to picture their reactions, but the truth was, I had no idea how they would respond to the news. I knew I had to be honest despite that fact.

I took a step forward onto the tile and ignored the ringing in my ears that was going off like an alarm system. Damon was rifling for food in the fridge, Dominic was tossing an omelet onto a plate for himself, and the other three were already eating at the kitchen table. Charlotte called my name warmly, but her hair looked askew like she had a rough night of sleep as well. 

I looked down at my feet and shook in place, before turning up to face them. They froze when they realized I had big news to share, except for Damon who was now digging through the pantry and hadn't noticed me yet.

"C-can you all come to the dining room with me? You can bring your food. We need to talk," I said forcibly, feeling fear course through my veins. My head pounded and I turned before they could answer and zipped over to the dining room, taking a seat in my normal chair. I had chosen the dining room because I figured there would be a table between us to stop them if they wanted to hurt me. It was also beside the sliding glass door if I needed to make an escape. 

I kept my eyes on the table as they filed into the room and suppressed the urge to cry. I wanted to yell defenses for myself, but I knew I had to accept responsibility for the tragedy. They had to know that I was the reason Bella died.

They sat in the seats surrounding me and each turned to face me, except Damon and Dominic who exchanged concerned looks.

"Maya, what's wrong?" Charlotte asked sensitively. Her voice was like honey and made me want to curl up in her arms, not give her this terrible news.

"My," Dominic said when I didn't look up. He said it strictly, and I knew it was because he wanted to convince me to stop thinking whatever terrible thought was in my head. I wish I could've.

I drank in a deep breath and peered up to meet their eyes.

"I know you all think that I'm innocent, but I'm not," I said, starting my story from the beginning. The boys all began to challenge that assertion, but I held up my hands, letting them know there was more to the story.

"You know my memory is faulty and imperfect, but recently a memory came back to me with perfect clarity. It isn't a happy memory and I'm afraid it may change how you all feel about me. If that is the case, I am more than willing to leave your house and go out on my own." I said in a shaky voice. They started protesting again but I shook my head. Charlotte spoke anyway. 

"Maya, we would never make you leave here. We want you to be safe and we love you. That will never change," she said sincerely, stretching her hands out while the others nodded. I couldn't meet her eyes because I knew they would show me mercy that I didn't deserve. I began to hyperventilate as I thought about all I would lose if they decided they didn't want me anymore. I didn't want this family to be taken from me just when I had become one of them. If they hated me or gave up on me, I didn't know what I would do.

"Thank you, Charlotte. But there's more to this story. Do you remember the park we visited when I got my concussion?" I asked, willing her to put the pieces together without me having to confess. It hurt me not to call her mom, but I didn't want her empathy for me swaying her decision if she wanted me to go.

She nodded; face crumpled in confusion. She spun the pendant on the thin silver necklace she wore as she waited for me to continue.

"That was the park where Bella was murdered," I said in a somber voice, words fusing together as my voice grew quieter. I gulped and tried to speak more stridently as I closed my eyes. It was time to be strong.

"I know that because I'm the one who killed her," I admitted, closing my eyes so my mind couldn't store the memory of their anguish.