Maya (Book #3)

Chapter 32

Over the course of the week, my anxiety developed. With every meal they cooked or bag of ice they grabbed for my head, my guilt grew worse. I began to think I didn't have a concussion at all; my fear was just masquerading as a physical injury.

I tried to act casual and be inconspicuous. I ate all my food despite not being hungry, and I answered questions when they asked with nods or the occasional word.

"Thank you," I whimpered weakly as Damon handed me pills to take one night. I curled up into a ball, pulling the blanket up over my head and facing the couch when they were swallowed. I made my breathing look deep and tried to pretend that I was sleeping as I quietly cried. 

As I sat in the silence with my thoughts, I heard Charlotte in the kitchen whispering to the boys.

"Do you think this concussion is worse than the doctors thought? It's been a week, and she can still barely stand!" she exclaimed nervously. 

"I was thinking the same thing..." Dominic said quickly, barely loud enough for me to overhear. "Do you think it's the thing with her uncle? Maybe it's anxiety that's eating away at her?"

I sucked in a breath rapidly. He had nearly figured it out. When I realized my mistake, I began taking large breaths again, praying that nobody noticed the pause.

"I-I think it might be something else..." Damon said with trepidation in his voice.

"What else could it possibly be?" Brooks demanded, sounding harsher than normal. Caleb seconded that and Damon sighed.

"I kind of... told her about Bella. And Dad. But I didn't tell her anything else!" He admitted, sounding a little freaked out. I knew he would only share that information if he thought the situation was dire. I guess I hadn't been as inconspicuous as I thought.

"What?" they all demanded in unison, tones varying fromheartbroken to furious.

 "It was time! I'm sorry. She had to know. I only told her the bare minimum." He said, defending his actions. I wanted to defend him, too. I had to know, even if the truth hurt.

"You idiot!" Caleb shouted. I heard what sounded like some pushing and some tumbling noises as the boys fought.

"Stop! Everyone, stop! It's okay," Charlotte said. "Maya deserved to know. Even if we don't feel emotionally ready to open up about that, she was going to find out at some point. How did she take it?" she asked, voice sounding afraid.

"She seemed really messed up by it and then ran to her room. That's when she wanted to go out somewhere with you. I'm so sorry! This is all my fault," Damon moaned, sounding unusually self-effacing.

"It's not anyone's fault. We just need to all talk about it together as a family," Dominic said gravely, announcing what would surely be the end of me.

"When?" Caleb asked, sounding nervous.

Never, I wished hopefully.

"Whenever she wakes up," he announced. They all agreed and split up to make dinner and turn on the TV. It softly began playing a soccer game in the background as the oven beeped to life.

I wondered how long I could get away with fake sleeping. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I woke up a little while later, smiling to myself. My fake sleep had turned into real sleep like it did when I was a kid. I stretched my back and legs, poking into a mass at the end of the couch. I sat up to see my toes pressed against Dominic, who gave me a smile. I looked around to see my family watching TV around me.

"She's up," Charlotte said, giving me a comforting smile. Brooks immediately grabbed the remote and muted the soccer game that was playing but left it on. It comforted me that he left it on because it meant this conversation would probably be lighter than I imagined it to be. They weren't going to accuse me of killing their sister. They had no reason to believe that. All they knew was that I had heard of their past and run away before seeing my uncle and fainting. That was all they needed to know, for now.

 "I'm up," I confirmed softly, shifting up so my back was against the armrest and legs were crossed in front of me. I pulled the blanket closer and tucked it around me, grateful for its warmth. Caleb got up from the floor so he could share the couch with us.

The room got a little dizzy and I tried to keep my head straight as my ears rang. My stomach rolled with nausea, but this feeling was inconsequential compared to the throbbing in my skull.

"Ow," I muttered to myself, self-conscious of their glances at my face. Damon looked repentant, and I knew he thought it was his fault. It was my duty to absolve that feeling in this conversation, regardless of the cost to myself.

"You okay My?" Dominic asked, leaning around Caleb to see me.

"Yes, it's just my stupid head." I grumbled, smiling at Dom as he glared, not loving the "stupid" comment.

"What's up?" I asked falteringly, trying to resign myself to the conversation they wanted to have.

"Well, we know you're not feeling well and we're not trying to add any unnecessary pressure to you, but we were hoping to clear the air. We wanted to talk to you about Bella." Charlotte said calmly after the others turned to face her. Her voice wasn't sad now, but it was careful like she had planned a script in her head that she followed as she spoke. 

"Oh," I replied stiffly, throat thick with nerves. "Yeah?"

"Yes," Damon hopped in. "I didn't mean to scare you with that, the other day."

"I told you, you didn't scare me," I mumbled sulkily, eyes on the carpet.

"Okay, but then you had a panic attack and got a concussion, so I think I did scare you," he argued sharply, making some excellent points. I let out a laugh at the absurdity of what had happened, and they all reluctantly laughed with me, helping break the ice a little.

"I guess it scared me a little," I acknowledged, looking into Charlotte's eyes. If I could pretend it was a therapy session, maybe I could be honest about my fears. Or partially honest, at least.

"Of course, it did," Charlotte said reassuringly, making my heart rate calm.

"I'm really happy you shared it with me," I said, looking into Damon's eyes. "I wasn't scared because of what happened to you, I was just so sorry that you guys had to experience all of that. I'm so sorry... it must be so hard," I said, trying to look into each of their eyes now.

"Thanks, My," Brooklyn said. "We're better now. We just miss them."

"I get that," I agreed. "I miss a family I've never even known."

"At least we have each other," Caleb said, being remarkably cheesy despite his proclaimed hatred of it.

"Thank God for that," I whispered, wishing I could tell them everything. My ears began ringing again and I sank down in the couch with my eyes shut, unable to stop them from helping me.