The Truth In Silence

Summer '98

Two years earlier...

It was summer, a wonderful time of the year in San Francisco, and on a Friday night, Reuben decided to take a walk through the streets to take a breather. Deep in his thoughts, he was looking down floating in his universe, not aware of the tiny raindrops that were striking his shoulders. He kept walking, talking to himself. By far, he appeared like his mind was chained with riddles like a spider web. He always believed, after a long and hectic day, being alone is a way to rehabilitate the peace. A chance for a true serenity to calm every part of himself. He also believed, liquor brings balance, joy, and a renewed sense of wonder.

The tiny raindrops immediately started getting bigger and stronger. Lightning flashed around him and thunder rumbled like a threat, warning him he can't keep on walking. He looked around him, and he started running towards a church that was a few yards away from where he was standing. He was halfway wet, but he managed to stay by the main entrance of the church to take a shade. The rain drummed wildly on the roof, and he peeped through the small cracks of the door and saw a lot of people inside the church. He planned to shake off the rain in the doorway until it seems less heavy and go home, but every second of the hour it grew heavier and stronger. He started going back-and-forth outside the doorway, undecisive whether he should go in or stay outside. Rain and wind battered him simultaneously and in disturbed motion, he peeped through the tiny door cracks again. He rested his back against the wall and squatted down. The wind was blowing strongly, throwing some road debris towards his way. Even though he moved to the other side of the doorway to avoid the debris, the wind was blowing very hard spraying the rain on his face. Suddenly, a piece of paper that was hanging on a board with a pin fell over his shoulder and it made him jump. He grabbed the paper, trying to straighten it out and it read, "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." At loss for words, he thought he was not sure how a soul as pure as the people inside the church would see him if he walks inside.

Reuben froze for a couple of seconds, gasped heavily and folded the paper, and put it inside his pocket. He remained at the same spot again. Undecisive. He took out the piece of paper and read it again before he finally decided to open the door and walk straight to the closest seat. A loud thunder sound spilled across the church as the door leading to the chambers in the front were pushed by Reuben.

The church was warm and pleasant. It was filled with the smell of dying flowers and the combination of different fragrances the people wore. The interior stone walls absorbed the warm summer breezes, and Reuben immediately started taking off his jacket placing it on his lap. With total amazement, he started looking between the church's high ceilings and cold marble floors. It was exceptionally beautiful. The people were deeply focused on the pastor's sermon, not even a single person bothered to look at him. As soon as he sat down, he felt a sudden feeling of relief. For a moment, he felt like he got beamed from the rowdy world into Heaven. An unusual feeling crept inside him, giving him an uttermost comfort. This feeling was new, something he never felt before. It slipped straight to his heart, while speculating its strength he couldn't ignore it. He did not know why he suddenly felt this way.

An older woman was sitting right beside him and she glanced at him and whispered, "you got here just in time son," and she smiled. He looked at her and with confusion, he asked, "excuse me..?" This time she just looked at him and smiled. He started looking around again, acting like he was looking for a specific person, but he wasn't.

His attention was dragged into the sermon, and like the rest of the people, his focus was on the preacher. A few minutes later, the preacher paused, and said "now it's time for the glory hallelujah choir to take the stage!" and the older woman jumped, screaming "Hallelujah!"

The crowd started clapping and it made an echo through the high ceilings making Reuben feel like he was in a soccer match and the fans chanting. "The choir rocked the souls of our congregation every Sunday! God is great!" the woman continued. Reuben could not wait until the choir group all gather together and start the praise. He calmed himself enough to listen and they were finally at the stage.

There were sixteen female choirs at the stage, with a male leader on the front. The sopranos and altos were on the first row close to the crowd, while the tenors and basses were on the second row. The choir robes were all white with classic open sleeves, with a navy blue front panel that goes all the way to the ankle. Their setup fascinated Reuben and now all his sense of organs were locked at the choir.

"I can't hold back this praise..." a female choir started singing and it was like a magical voice to his empty soul. It made a strong frequency in his heart, creating a feeling inside him that was untold. It was a voice of an angel that fulfills the voided piece of the soul. Reuben involuntarily stood up, raising his hands in the air copying the crowds.

"...this fire in my bones, no rock will take my place" the choir continued.

"The first alto has an angel voice. She's been in this church all her life, praising the Lord. You see young man, I know everybody in this church. Some of them are blood-related and some just became family throughout the years. I don't know how you got here tonight, but in the bible, it says 'The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps'..." she started nodding her head and glimpsed at him. "I'm Petunia, by the way." she sent her hand to shake Reuben. "Reuben," he replied.

His focus right now seemed to be winning the alto choir. Her voice penetrated through his body and rocked the living soul inside him. He was attracted, not just by the voice but by the beauty of her. She appeared to be the same age as him, mid-twenties. She was the sweetest melody on his eyes and ears. Everyone was attracted by her angelic voice but Reuben's attraction feels so deep as if this were the start of a song that plays on and on, something so soothing to his soul. Petunia observed his eyes were locked at first alto choir, and then she tapped his back saying "in the gospel of Matthew, we see Jesus teach His disciples how to pray and what to pray. Young man, pray for whatever your heart desires." it confused Reuben, and the woman seemed like she can read what was inside his mind.

Reuben missed the majority of the sermon but still, he felt like he attended everything. The choir finished after they sang 'Glory Hallelujah', and everyone was fixing to leave. And for the last time, Petunia leaned towards Reuben and whispered, "let not your heart be troubled, son. Looking forward to seeing you on Sunday..." she tapped his back and walked towards the exit before he could thank her.

He remained in the same seat, watching everybody walking towards the exit. The rain was over, but drops were still falling from the trees. His spirit was full of hope and positivity. He folded his hands and started praying in silence. Even though he grew up in a church, Reuben has been away from any spirituality for quite a long time and that night made him realize how far he has been far from God. He immediately regretted all the years he has been away from a Church.

The church was empty now, and Reuben got up and started walking towards the stage. His footsteps sounded down the hallway making an echo. He walked slowly towards the podium and started looking at the empty seats. He started imagining the church full of people and everybody attending his sermon. A doubled number of the choir, all singing together making a chant louder than a stadium.

A broadened smile played on his face, showing his dimple. While he was still standing at the podium, he heard a group of people talking altogether and laughing. The voice got closer to him and he ran back to the seat. He didn't know where the voice was coming from, up until he saw the choirs coming down from the stairs. As soon as he saw the alto choir, he froze. They were heading towards the exit and they all just looked at Reuben and smiled 'good night' at him.

As he watched them pass him, he'd found courage in his soul and he got up and, "Are you... are you an angel?" he asked the alto choir, hopeful yet confused. The rest of the choir kept walking, but she stopped and she simply smiled with confidence. She looked at him and replied, "I'm not an Angel," and there was a pause for a couple of heartbeats. "You've approached my soul through your voice, you sound like an angel" he replied. She seemed to be a little bothered by his bold approach, but she took the compliment anyway and she smiled thanking him. "I'm Reuben," he sticks his right hand to shake her hand.

"Shalom..." they shook hands and she continued walking towards the exit as he locked his eyes at her back.