IN YOUR DREAMS...

ch 8:Love is just another lie!

     The morning air ran inside me,making me grab onto the  thick blankets for warmth.In the early morning the waning moon looks like
a tarnished pebble that is thrown to the sky.Some unknown birds stood on the swaying stalks,swaying their heads,shaking their wings,vying to show off the moving voices,and the sweet songs seemed to flow in the clouds,rolling on the green leaves and running.In the fresh,moist air,the sound is lingering,the small sound is like a light breeze blowing.
    I was wide awake all night turning the pages of the book and looking word by word but didn't understand anything.As I didn't sleep,I didn't get to see Shane too!He must  have been  alone in my dreams.
        I was hesitating to go to school . Why am I so scared to face the reality?
   I got ready and went to the breakfast table.It's Ann preparation again!
   "Where are you going this early?"
She passed the bread to me.
"I'm going to school,See ya"
    I stuffed a bread inside my mouth and rushed to school.I was thinking about how I should handle Jake and Shawn.I feel a little happy 'cause Mom will be home tonight . I don't have to suffer with my sister's food anymore.
     I walked into school wishing it would be a nice day . I'm so early,the school ground was empty with a few basket balls lying here and there.I was greeted by a garden of roses and lilies on my way to class.
   'No one would be here,since I'm so early'.I thought to myself as I climbed the stairs.
  But no,I was wrong.Shawn was standing near the window,feeling the fresh air as it washes his face.
  It's only me and him here,which made me more nervous.I pretended to be casual.
  "Could you lend me your notes?"
He placed his notes on the table and turned away.It made me surprised!
   Today I shall take him near the bridge to give my answer . That's the place were it all started.
   There were tears flowing from my eyes,and I didn't know why?I am not crying,but the tears are flowing like crazy.I was really scared.Do I have a disease or something,where I have no control over my body?I started imagining weird things.
   I tried to wipe my tears before he notices it,but the tears kept flowing.
  "Won't it stop?".I rubbed my eyes,aggressively.
    "Why are you crying?",he kneeled down in front of me and wiped my eyes.
  I just stared at him while he kept repeating the same question again.
   "I don't know why I'm crying"
The tears stopped finally but deep down there was this sad feeling mixed with fear and guilt.
   "What's wrong with me?",I kept asking this question to myself more than thousand times.
    Something doesn't seem right!
Eventually the classroom was filled with students and their noises.I tried to talk to Shawn,but he was busy with his new friends,Evan and Daniel.
   When I was in the restroom,I heard a few familiar voices talking about Shawn.
   "Doesn't Shawn like Meiko?",said a voice
  "But he's always with Jade.",said another voice.
  "I mean,Shawn and Jade look good together."
  I felt a happy feeling rise inside me.
"I agree, Jade is cute and everything,but he seems to be totally whipped for Meiko"
    What?What are they talking about? I mean,how?
     "I saw them  yesterday.Holding hands and laughing like crazy.I think Jade wasn't there in the class"
     Then yesterday what he told was all true?
  That he had fun with Meiko and others.Why did my bloody watch give an alarm?
     But I didn't get angry or had tears in my eyes.'Has my heart become numb or something?You should be angry now'.I said to myself.
    On my way to class,I heard the conversation of two girls . I didn't mean to eavesdrop,I just happened to be there at the moment.
   "Heard what?Shawn and Meiko are dating"
   This is more than enough for me to run to him this very second.
  I entered the classroom,Shawn was nowhere to be seen.But I saw Meiko happily chatting with her friends.
  I made my way through the tables."Don't talk to Shawn from now",I said dryly.
    Meiko looked at me amused,lesilda never cared to bother.
    "Yeah,I wanted to ask this too.I heard that there's something going on between you and Shawn", a girl with a sleeveless 'I'm just a good girl' t-shirt smirked at her.
       "Be quiet",Meiko blushed shyly.
"What's your problem now?",lesilda came to her defense.
    Shawn showed up at the right moment.The moment our eyes met,I turned my head.I stomped back to my seat in rage.
    I looked at him with a death stare.He looked confused by my expression.
    He was walking towards me and suddenly  stopped near Meiko and winked at her.She looked at the ground shyly as the other girls jumped in joy.
    He knew I was watching this all.His smirk told everything.Is he doing this just to make me jealous or did he really mean it?
    As I heard the bell,I quickly packed my bags to leave when he held my hand.
    "You wanted to say something",his curious tone showed up again.
    I released my arm from his tight grip and left without a word.I rushed home to have something before going to the coffee shop.
   Today is my first day at Last Taste . I shouldn't be late.I threw my bags aside and ran a hot shower and changed into a comfortable cozy wear.
   "I'm gonna wear my uniform,once I get there.So,It doesn't matter much",I examined myself in the mirror one last time, before leaving.
   I took an umbrella with me as the clouds seemed bright and dull at the same time. The day becomes hotter as it advances.It is the most difficult time.With the rise of the sun,the mood of the day seems to be changing.As the sun ascends,the plants also feel the severity of the day .Their leaves fall.They appear dull.Even the flowers which have bloomed, soon lose their charm during the day.
    The scorching heat is piercing to the eyes.It was good that I was in thick clothes and had sunglasses on.I reached the shop,finally after a long walk.
    Keira,the girl who worked at the counter looked up as I walked in.Her face split into a wide smile as I walked past her.
    After changing into my uniform,I left my bag in the miniscule office,I walked across the bakery to the kitchen.
   Ross,the assistant baker was on the floor,on all fours,clearly looking for something.He abruptly turned to look up at me and bumped his head on the counter in the process.
  "Ouch!".He massaged his head with his fingers and back bent down,resuming his hunt for the mysterious lost item.
   "Can I help you?",I leaned against the door frame lazily and continued to watch Ross.
   Ross was probably at the age of 25-26,but he seems to be a good company 'cause his mouth doesn't shut at all.
   I crossed the kitchen and peeked through the oven door.
    "What's cooking?"
"I'm baking some  Chocolate Caramel coconut delight cupcake bases for the Sixth street branch.They said they wanted about two dozen sent over to them before evening",Ross said appearing from under the counter with a measuring cup victoriously clutched in his hand.The Last Taste's coffee shop at the Sixth Street is a small branch of them but yet have a steady flow of customers.I collected all the details from Ann,when we both had a short talk at night after a long time.
   "They haven't sent over the cupcakes yet?".Last Taste was primarily a coffee shop,recently they've added a few more delicious desserts to their menu.
    "Freya,the baker there at the Sixth street branch.She did---strawberry with limecream frosting or something strange like that.She wasn't happy with them,so we're redoing Cupcake of the Day'.
    "We have enough of the Classics and Crowd Pleasers though?",I asked,checking the display unit.
   "How are we doing with creatives today?"
   "You sure ask a lot of questions,nah?",he gasped for breath stuck in between on the messy floor.
  "I'm just curious".I shrugged.
I turned over and walked to the bar,stood there waiting for the customers when a familiar face showed up.
   Huh?How did he know that I work here?Ah,he must've followed me all the way here.
   He walked over to a table near the window,with his tired eyes fixed on me.I walked to him with my notepad.
   "What do you want,sir?".I completed the sentence firmly.
   "Jade-"
"What do you want,sir?".I gritted my teeth.
   This time he must've understood that I wasn't interested in his talks.So,he ordered his drinks.
    "I would like to have a Ristretto,please ". He looked around to find a way to talk to me.
   "Noted",I turn and just walk away.
  
I stood behind the bar,kicking my feet on the wooden table before me.
His eyes were totally fixed on me,while he waited for his coffee.
A high school couple entered in and I went to take to take their orders.Shawn's eyes followed me everywhere.
    The boy seemed to be my age.Probably 16-17.The girl seemed younger.They were more like friends than to be called lovers.They boy ordered Café latte while the girl went on with a simple cappuccino.

    I placed his Ristretto on the table.He tried to speak with his eyes.
    "Jade, I want to speak with you".
"Enjoy your coffee,sir.Thank you",I tried to show a formal smile and left to treat other customers.
  He finished his coffee soon and left.I thought he might be waiting for me outside.The thought itself scared me.But he seemed to be a little upset,maybe disappointed in me by now.So,I don't think he'll wait for me for hours,standing alone by the side of the  road.He might be disappointed in me,but I'm more disappointed in him!
   The clouds started to darken.The afternoon was bright but after sometime,the sky seemed cloudy,occasionally letting a dull ray of sunshine pass through.It had been raining on and off,but not enough to soak through even the topmost layer of the land.
   The light showers seemed to intensify . There was a loud crack of thunder and the world was lit in a whitish glow for a split second.I slipped to the floor,crouching down,holding my knees close to my chest .It's  already past ten,the shop was ready to close.I rested my cheek against the cool window and stared outside.I sat there for a long time,hidden in the dark,staring at the blurred mixture of yellow and white lights in the street, bustling with a Tuesday night crowd,my eyes filled up with tears and then dried up before finding escape over and over again.
   As I sat and watched the held hands and rushed steps,the flurry of people covering their heads and seeking refuge from the now heavy stream of rain,their laughter  rang in my ears.In the absence of air-conditioning,the shop was becoming humid and stifling.I found it hard to breathe.
    My phone buzzed and I picked it up.
Shawn:You're fine,right?
   I was worried that he would get soaked completely,If he decided to wait for me.I checked in front of the parking lot and outside the entrance,there was no sign of him.Relieved,I went inside again.
   My eyes suddenly  filled up with tears.What is wrong with me?From the outside,it would appear that my life was perfect.All the pieces came together to create a beautiful art.I have a wonderful family,I loved the times I had for myself alone,roaming the city at night,new friends,so many confessions and a handsome boy to call a boyfriend.
     But there was still something amiss.Something that was missing,missing for so long that I hadn't even realized the void it left behind.But the void was very real.I carried it with myself everyday----a blank space that weighed heavy in my heart and kept growing heavier and heavier.
   I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand and sniffed.I texted him back.
  Me:Yep!Sorry for today,was a little upset.We'll talk it out tomorrow:)
    I can't keep ignoring him because of the gossips I heard from the girls.
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.I should give him a chance to speak,a chance to explain everything from his side!
   By the time,I reached home.I was completely wet.
     "Mom?"I called softly,pushing the door shut with my feet.I walked through the living room and to the dining area,where my mother was sitting at a dining table,her laptop in front of her,surrounded by notebooks and pens.
    "Mom!"
"Why are you this late?Do you often come late home when I'm not there?",She looked at me from above her glasses,resting low on her nose.
   "No,I was just helping out my friend with some work.It got delayed there",I have no energy to talk.
    "Have you eaten?",she asked.
I looked up."Kind of ".It was as if my stomach woke up at the mention of food,so I walked to the fridge and pulled it open.Leaning down,I inspected the various neatly arranged vessels and boxes inside.My family,especially mom and dad are kind of an obsessive-compulsive people.Not a thing out of place,ever.
   I took some nuts and popped it in my mouth.I took a piece of chocolate and started feasting on it . I've always been a health conscious teenager,but somewhere along the line ,I realized that my body doesn't gain weight,no matter what or how I ate.
      Subconsciously,I've begun doing the opposite of what dieticians suggest. Eating carbs late at night,no portion control,an unbalanced diet.I loved food and ate everything.
     I took a hot shower,changed my clothes and jumped on my bed.It was a long day and I was so tired.As my eyes shut,I could feel myself distancing myself from reality.
     

      I think fate chose to tie you and me with a longest string possible.It might take us forever to be together!!!