Infinite Serenity [Ninjago]

Chapter 6: Kai Gets High

TW: thoughts of self harm, almost acting on those thoughts, jokes about drug consumption

The day had a slow start. One that you didn't exactly like. Your father had misplaced his lesson book. It was an old thing that he's read from cover to cover, sometimes even backwards. You were sure that he memorized every single page down to how long the paragraphs were. So, instead of training, you decided to clean. It was the only way you could keep your own thoughts at bay.

But even then, it didn't work. The void was getting bigger, stronger every day. The phrases became more and more violent as you ignored them. It was as if it was angry that you were doing so. No one would dare defy it. Where you stood, trying so hard not to listen, you started to give in a little. You kept quiet to lend an ear to the void. All because it gave you an idea while sweeping the deck.

These violent thoughts might've been the heron's call. It could be the only way for you to find your true potential. The heron was calling to you this entire time and you never noticed. It kept telling you to hurt yourself because the pain would make you stronger. And you needed to be strong now more than ever. Finding your true potential would help with that. Learning of this was almost like figuring out an important plot-line before the characters did in a story. All you needed was something to respond with, to bring yourself pain for the sake of strength.

You kept this in mind as you went on with your day. Lloyd kept going past you to have small conversations with the boys, but never you, despite the two of you being closest. Maybe he was trying to build a rapport with the others, gaining their trust so they know he won't harm them anymore.

You were now alone on the deck sweeping when you didn't need to. There shouldn't be anyone in the kitchen at the moment. Although, it was Cole's night to cook dinner. You grimaced at the thought of having to eat whatever he made. But you would take the risk of being caught to find some kind of blade to pierce your skin.

This is for strength, you kept telling yourself that. The heron wanted you to be strong, and this was its method of doing that. As you passed each door, your steps remained quiet. Somehow, it wouldn't be good if anyone knew about this. Not even your father.

"How am I supposed to strike fear in this? It's pink!" Zane shouted from the other side of one of those doors. You flinched, curious about what was going on. Your brain was quite easily swayed by different things. If only you could keep your focus all the time instead of just in combat. But you were a simple person with a weak will.

You opened the door to see the boys fighting over various things that happened to them. Your father watched it all, and was the only one to notice you coming in. You gave your father a small wave, almost out of guilt for what you were just about to do. Somehow, hurting yourself in this way was taboo. Why would it be? This was for his sake.

Wu opened a door behind him to see a giggling Lloyd. Behind him was bleach, tools stolen from Jay, and a red sock. The boys stopped their arguments to see what was going on.

"You did this?!" they all said at the same time.

"Boys, I get first dibs on him," Cole said.

Before you could apprehend him, Wu interrupted.

"There will be no dibs," he said. "I put him up to this mischief for today's lesson, the dangers of rumors. Did you ever try to find if the accusations were true?"

"That's an odd lesson for you to teach, father," you said. "It's also strange that Lloyd pranked everyone without asking me for help."

"Yeah Sensei, today's lesson was lame," Cole sighed.

"Why couldn't you teach us to paralyze your enemy with your finger?" Jay said. "Or find out someone is lying by the twitch of their nose?"

"Not all lessons are about fighting," Wu said.