Home Sweet Home | Negan Smith

Chapter 7

Summary - Negan might be an asshole, but you start to realize that you do care for him. Coming closer to him, now willingly, you have to make peace with your old self.

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You saw all red, didn't even hear what Maggie said to him; but fuck it. For a long moment you even wished she killed him... until she actually got her gun out. You flinched, scared that she would actually do it.

But she didn't.

Instead, she turned around and urged the group to keep killing the corpses, and you just stayed there as everyone walked past you. You were frozen in place, your angry eyes being the only thing moving; inspecting him as if he was an insect you wanted to step on.

He held your gaze for a moment, trying to break you; but he knew he crossed the line when he mentioned Glenn. He sighed in defeat, getting up to his feet. "Look, hon-"

You just held your palm up, telling him to stop.

"You have this great talent to fuck up whatever good thing you might be doing." With that, you turned around and went to kill the rest of those fuckers.

You were starting to get tired, there were so many and you felt like you had killed a hundred already, your grip on your knife all red, even when Frost was helping you killing most that were on your way. That was, until you heard some groaning in the distance.

Everyone else seemed to notice as well, pointing with their flashlights; but just then yours and Alden turned off. "Shit..." you whispered. "We need a battery swap. Gage?" you called for the boy, thinking he was still in the back.

But then... nothing. Everyone else turned around as well, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Gage? Roy?" Alden asked worriedly. "Has anyone seen them?"

You looked at Frost, worried, and he put a hand on your shoulder for you to be calm; only that it wasn't working. At all. Gage and Roy had all your supplies. You just had like two cans of food on your backpack.

"Great, that's just great. It's this asshole's fault, he scared them off." Someone said, pointing at Negan. You knew that it wasn't right; but didn't feel like defending Negan anymore.

In the silence, you all heard the groaning now much louder and as Daryl pointed towards it, you all saw a big herd coming up from the same direction you came from. Now there wasn't another way but forward.

You didn't even wait till Daryl said so, you were already walking towards the other direction, your nunchaku in hand as you killed the few walkers you encountered. Maggie called your name for you to wait, but you didn't really feel like listening to her either. You just started killing and less than a minute after, everyone else did the same.

As you finally got to the parked metro you looked on the side. "Blocked. Fuck." You groaned as Alden looked on the other one, blocked as well. Then, you just knew you had to open the back door, but you struggled, even trying with Frost at the same time. Your hands kept sliding through the cold metal. "It won't open." You grunted, desperately trying to open it as you heard the herd coming closer.

"Up top." Suddenly, Daryl's idea seemed to be right. It was the only way through.

Everyone started rushing to the top as you stayed back, killing every walker that was close enough. You felt in a weird state of mind. You weren't comfortable with yourself. You didn't know what you wanted, you felt like you didn't really know Maggie anymore, and Negan's past actions were burning in the back of your head. You weren't killing to survive; you were killing because you needed to let go of all that shit you were keeping inside.