The Boy I Used To Know ( A Josh Hutcherson FanFic)

Chapter 15

Before you read, you should know that I've written this in third person's POV. I wanted to try something new. :)

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The sun shone down on his face as he pulled away from the last of his dreams. He squinted, letting his eyes register to the light. Silently, he turned to see Annie, she was absentmindedly fiddling a pendant around her neck as she read a book. He pretended to stretch. Annie lifted her eyes from the book and smiled. "Hey, you're awake." she grinned. Josh instinctively smiled back, his heart beating a tad bit faster.

She helped him up into a sitting position and closed the curtains. "Want some water?" Annie asked, handing him a glass. "Thanks." Josh said. Annie awkwardly stood by his bedside, the book she was reading long forgotten by the arm rest.

"You know, you can always sit, Annie." Josh teased. Annie rolled her eyes and sat by his bed again. Nut Annie wasn't entirely comfortable, he could tell she had something to say. He slowly sipped on his water, eyeing her cautiously. Annie's eyes were downcast, she picked at the hem of her sweater.

"Annie..." He called. She looked up instantly. "Are you okay?" Josh asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Do you want a refill?" Annie stood, trying to change the subject. "Nope. I'm fine. Please sit." She sat down hesitantly.

"It's just that I saw you playing with the necklace this morning while you read, you seemed so at peace. And then I woke up and you're a bundle of nerves." Josh mused.

She sighed and looked him in the eye. Then she unclasped the necklace from around her neck and showed him the words engraved on the back.

"Oh." Josh mumbled, surprised that this was bothering her. "Th-that...er... doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to." He mentally facepalmed himself for being so obvious.

She was silent for awhile then she asked, "What if I want it to?"

"Then it can mean something." Josh wanted so badly to get out of there and hide in a hole. No thanks to being so sick too because his cheeks were flaming red on his pasty face.

Annie's heart stopped and did a double, a triple, a one hundred time flip. She couldn't be feeling like this. It's Josh, the boy who put dirt in her bicycle helmet 7 years ago, the idiot who stepped on her precious miniature Barbie table, the Joshua Ryan Hutcherson that she detested for drawing a beautiful picture of Taylor Lautner then burning it in front of her because he knew she was an obsessed fangirl.

Meanwhile, Josh mentally executed himself, imagining ways to fall off a cliff while being hooked to an IV drip. He was so embarassed.

"Why did you pick that sentence?" Annie asked awkwardly. Josh froze, his cheeks, which was a pale pink, now a bright hot red.

"W-would it s-sound weird if I told you I've had a crush on you forever?"

This time, Annie's heart stopped, for good she hoped. She wondered how she even found the courage to shake her head.

"Well, then it's because I've had a crush on you." Josh's eyes met Annie's and it stayed that way. Both of them just staring, lost, in their thoughts, in each other's eyes.

"D-do you still?" Annie asked, her voice softened into a whisper. He nodded.

She didn't know what occured to her or to her fuzzy brain, or even what gave her that sudden spark, that jolt, that flash of realization to see that she'd been crushing on him too. All this time, she had kept it hidden, pushed away. She didn't want to feel that way towards Josh. She thought he would never see them both as more than just friends.

Then, like lightning, she shivered as his lips brushed over her's. And they kissed, briefly but just long enough.

Josh pulled away first and covered his face with his palms. Her heart sinked. "I'm sorry. I.. I shouldn't have." She muttered an apology, feeling ashamed of herself. Josh groaned and said it wasn't her fault. But she knew it kind of was. Her head was spinning, her heart was racing and the only thing she thought to do was to kiss him because secretly, she'd always wanted to.

Josh looked up at her and held her hand. It felt nice, warm and so much like the first time they held hands. "I can't, Annie." He said, slowly. "Can't what?" she asked. "This. This... feeling. I can't... we can't." He tripped over his words as he tried to find the right thing to say to her without breaking her heart.

"You don't want this? You don't want to like me?" Annie asked, confused. Josh shook his head. "No! That wasn't what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?" Annie stood, pulling her hands away from Josh's.

"We can't do this, Annie. You're the best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this." He told her. Josh knew he couldn't let this go on. This wasn't right. Annie deserves someone so much better. And someone like her can never be with someone like him, the dying boy that just wants some last minute affection. He loved her, he knew it in his heart that he loved her. But wasn't there a saying that if you love someone, you have to let them go?

"Because I'm not good enough for you?" Annie snapped, anger coursing through her veins. She instantly regretted it, given his condition, but she couldn't help herself. He was the one who confessed, she only did what she thought she should, now he's taking it back?

Josh winced at her words. It wasn't true, of course it wasn't true. He'd never even thought of something as stupid as that but he also couldn't tell it to her face that the reason he doesn't want this relationship was because he didn't want to die in heartbreak. If he let this happen and they loved each other, there will still come a day when all this will end. When he dies. And he doesn't want the relationship to end with death because then it wouldn't really end and Annie won't ever really move on. She'll feel like she was still his to love and his only.

"Because I don't want you to pity love me, okay?" he lied. Deep in his heart, he fought to believe that someday this will all end and he could have her. But nobody ever gets what they really want.

"What?!" Annie coughed, a look of bewilderment plastered on her face. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away. "You know what, yeah, maybe you're right. I don't love you. That kiss a few weeks ago on your damn cheek didn't mean a thing and yesterday when you hugged me, THERE WASN'T A DAMN SPARK BECAUSE I PITY LOVE YOU!" She spat and walked out the room. Outside, she let her tears fall. She thought he had felt it when he hugged her good night yesterday, she really wanted him to feel it.

Inside, Josh broke into a million fragments, hot fresh tears streamed down his face slowly. Maybe it was true too. That she only pity loved him. It made sense. He was dying. Annie would feel it was the right thing to do. To pretend to love him, to let him experience what being in love feels like before he was gone. Josh didn't want to believe it but this was reality and it made sense. It made so much sense.

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A/N: Please don't kill me. I know the ending is dreadful but this is reality and life sucks. Just kidding, haha. :D If you're still reading, thanks for sticking around. Thank you for your continuous support and I will try to update as soon as I can. Do vote, comment and all the good stuff.

                                                                                                        - Adelynn.