The Boy I Used To Know ( A Josh Hutcherson FanFic)

Chapter 12

Josh's POV

I walk down the unfamiliar hallway of the Baylor Medical Centre in Dallas, Texas. Everywhere I look, it's people in white lab coats or nurses bustling about with a clipboard in hand. I look around outside my room and I see distraught parents, talking to doctors with tears in their eyes. But I see happy people too, ones that smile to themselves after coming out of the doctor's office. I make my way to the cafeteria at the ground floor. I find my father there, staring blankly into his cup of coffee.

"Dad..." I croaked. Upon hearing my voice, his head whips up, alarmed. "Does it hurt, Josh?" He asks. "A little." I nod. He sighs and we walked back up to my floor, where most of the cancer patients are. Midway to the counter, we're stopped by a man in a lab coat who introduces his self as Dr Murray. "Hello, Joshua. I'm the Head Oncologist here and I'm going to be around you for awhile." He smiles, not the kind of nice-to-meet-you smile, rather it's the you're-gonna-be-okay kind of smile.

He discussed with my dad in his office while I sat by the desk, watching them, listening to the flow of conversation, everything goes in one side and out the other. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that this is where I'm going to be from now on. White walls, clean smell, nothing seems to be out of place here. Even the fake plant by the window has been neatly trimmed to a perfect round.

Before saying goodbye, Dr Murray reminds me - I wasn't even listening the first time - to not take specific foods and to get a lot of rest. I could only nod. We bid goodbye and headed to our new apartment.

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"I've arranged for you to stay at the hospital and I know what you're going to say, Josh, but it's for your own good." my dad explains the next day in the car as we drove to the hospital. I opened my mouth to protest but he lifted a hand to shut me off. "Would you want to go in and out of the hospital everyday after a chemo or radiation session? Do you know how tiring it is and how much fuel it will consume? No, you don't. So don't start, alright?" he snaps. I look to the ground, anger and frustration washing over me.

My dad sighs loudly. "I'm sorry, Josh. I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's just hard without your mom and Connor around." He says. "Do you think it's easy for me?! I'm the one who is about to die and you expect me to understand how hard it is for you?" I snapped back. "Stop saying you're going to die, Joshua. You're not! And I know it's hard for you but it's equally hard for me too. To live practically 800 miles from home, with no one here to support us, just me and you. Don't you think it's a little crazy too? Running off without telling anyone but Annie. Not even your school or our relatives."

"What are you talking about, dad? Are you saying that you wish you didn't have to do this? To have a son like me?" I replied in shock. He exhales, his answer loud and clear. Yes, he wishes he didn't have me.

"Stop the car." I say, my heart thumping. "STOP THE CAR!" I shout, looking at him. He steps on the brakes so hard, the tyres screeched. "What do you want now, Joshua?" he demands. I opened the door and stepped outside. "You get back in here, Joshua! Right now!" He shouts but I've already started running. Running the next 5 miles to the hospital.

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"Good morning, Joshua." Dr Murray greets me once a nurse leads me into his office. "And why, may I ask, are you panting and soaked in sweat?" His eyebrows lift as I took a swig of water from the cup on his desk. "You don't want to know." I reply. "Well then, where is your father?" he asks, at that exact moment, there is pounding on the door. It slams open and my father walks in.

"Excuse me, Dr Murray. I'd like to speak with my son outside." He says, keeping calm. My palms begin to sweat as I walked out the room. My dad was facing the wall with his arms crossed, I stood behind him, feeling my lips go numb. "What do you have to say, Joshua Ryan Hutcherson?" He demands, still looking at the wall. When I didn't reply, he turns around and grabbed my shoulders. "What do you have to say?!" He shakes me. I push his arms away and shout, "I wish I didn't have this either, okay? I wish I wasn't here so you and mom and Connor can go on living that wonderful life that you've always dreamed of. I wish I didn't have to burden you with all this bullshit. I wish I wasn't born!"

For the second time today, I ran. Into the only place I knew he would never find me, the maternity ward. I walked around, looking for the room where they put the newborn babies. I found it just around the corner and stood by the glass panel for a long time.

A little baby boy was kicking in his incubator while a baby girl, dressed in a uniform pink, was staring up at the dinosaur stickers on the ceiling. I smiled at their innocence, their purity. They shouldn't know of such pain like mine. A nurse walks into the room and I watched her place another baby boy into an empty incubator with a smile on her face. A man, not my father, stood beside me, also wearing a huge smile.

"Congratulations, sir." I say. He thanks me. "He is my first. Look at him. He's not even crying." He tells me. I nod and smiled for him, for his new found happiness, for everything he isn't going to be going through like I am.

"What do you think you're doing, Joshua?!" My father's loud voice boomed. I turned around, shocked. The man I was talking to turned around too. "Is everything alright?" he asks. "As a matter of fact, no. Nothing is alright." My father says as he pulls me out of the ward. We marched down the hallway back into the cancer ward and he sits me down.

He sits down too and puts his face in his palms. We stayed silent for awhile, I watched the nurses go by, counting time. "I'm sorry, Joshua. I know I've said it but I mean it this time. I truly mean it. I know it's hard for you. I know all this is confusing. I know you're scared. But I want you to know that, I'm going to be here for you. I don't wish I didn't have you. I don't wish for a better son than you. To me, you're perfect. You're my first son. When you were born, your mother you used to remind me that you never cried. Not even a single tear. And as you grew, you always had that smile on your face that sometimes Connor didn't. In all these years, the only thing I don't regret is having you as my son. I love you, Josh." He tells me, tears flowing down his cheeks.

I hug him. It's pathetic but for all it's worth, I hug him tight. Because I know we'll fight through this. We're going to be alright. He is my hero now. "I love you too, dad." I say.

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A/N: Ta Da! Here is chapter 12. I've actually done a bit of research for this chapter and Baylor Medical Centre is real! I put in bits of what I've experienced myself to describe the hospital, I don't know if it's still lacking details, I'll work on that for chapter 14. Tell me what you think. Do comment, I love the support you give me. Thank you for reading. :)

- Adelynn