The Boy I Used To Know ( A Josh Hutcherson FanFic)

Chapter 26

"...to say that without... including you.'

Kayne was hesitant, as with everything he had ever had to decide. Right here, lying next to him was the only boy he'd ever loved. So, why did it take him a few angry words and a moment's regret to realise that Josh was worth it? Josh was it all.

Kayne demanded for Josh to get off and sadly watched him go back to his side of the room. If he hadn't said what he had said earlier, there wouldn't even be a fight, but he did and with the tone he had implied it, Josh might very well have meant what he said too.

Yes, Kayne may be the third person, the 'other man', but Josh loved him just the same. Kayne knew the moment Josh kissed him that he was selfish for swooping in so suddenly into their lives and stealing one away from the other; unintentionally, of course, but no one would believe him. 

The dilemma still lingered, cold, in the air. If he continued these feelings for Josh, what becomes of Annie Silverman? If he let go, what becomes of him? Most importantly, and this was the question he had replayed over and over again, especially on nights when the scary thoughts came to him and he had nowhere to hide: what becomes of us when Josh dies?

And that would be enough to send him straight to tears. Kayne had known Josh quite completely by then; he had known his weekly results, his nurses, his parents, his habits, his secrets - all long enough to know that Josh was indeed dying. Kayne, even though it would crush him, insisted to love Josh even more.

***

Annie returned the next day with a bag of things. She tiptoed silently into the room. Josh was still asleep and Kayne pretended to be, only to avoid having to talk to her. She placed the bag at the foot of Josh's bed, walked to his side and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Kayne opened one eye slightly to sneak a peek at them and he saw Annie, with bandaged palms, stroking Josh's hair, whispering inaudible sweet words.

Josh coughed, making Annie jump almost sheepishly, before slowly opening his eyes. When he registered the face looking down at him was Annie's he bolted upright and hugged her tight. They kissed briefly; Kayne closed his eyes.

"What happened to your hands?" Josh enquired, worried. 

"I was picking up broken glass and some cut my palms. It's alright," Annie replied, "I also have something for you."

She moved to retrieve the bag and placed it between Josh and herself. Annie pulled a scroll of paper out, unrolled it and waited for a reply. Josh remembered it clearly. He remembered the excitement of taking her to their river, the butterflies swarming in his gut as he asked for her permission to draw her, the love - oh the utter love he felt as he sketched a living angel onto a piece of fragile paper. It was his sketch of Annie and it had been so long since he had laid his eyes on it.

"You still have it," he managed a short reply, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I wouldn't trade it for the world."

***

After another night of thrashing her room and crying herself to sleep, Annie woke up feeling almost guilty for storming off. She knew she did not deserve to feel sorry for Josh, her own best friend, her self-proclaimed lover, to cheat on her. But Annie knew Josh and she knew if he had done what he had done, it wasn't completely his fault either. 

Now, the thing that struck her as silly and innocent before had become the ruin of her relationship with Josh. Kayne was a friend of many intentions. Deceitful? She wasn't so sure but Kayne was indeed on heck of a guy and she didn't wish to be around when she found out how. Yet, she was and he turned out to be the kind of person who'd sneak up on you when you least expect it. So, kudos to Kayne, she thought.

***

"Kayne's asleep now, so I might as well just tell you this. I love you, I couldn't say it back yesterday but I will now, and I will keep loving you until the end of time... or you or me, whichever first. I am also fully aware that you love Kayne too," she put a finger to his lips when Josh tried to protest and said, "and I'm not going to be happy about it, but if that idiot wants to jump onto our roller coaster of a life, he can come along too. Just know that at the end of the day, Josh, you will still have to make a choice. And when you do, I hope you decide on one that will make you happy."

Annie kissed him again, softly this time, and left him sitting there, stunned.

Kayne sat up the moment the door swung shut. Josh looked at him, not knowing whether to smile that he was acknowledging his existence again  or to be angry he eavesdropped.

"Don't pick me. For the love of God, do not pick me, Hutcherson. Do you hear me?" Kayne pleaded in his head, his eyes bored into Josh's. Josh obliviously got out of bed, taking the intense look as a signal to come closer. Kayne didn't stop him, though; he didn't have the strength to. 

Josh wrapped his arms around Kayne, leaning into him and making them both fall backwards. Josh laid on Kayne's chest as Kayne took deep breaths after deep breaths. 

You're not supposed to be lying here with me, you little piece of oblivious shit. Your lover just made you choose. I am not the right choice.

"Josh," Kayne said softly, thinking. 

"Yeah?"

"Tell me you have this figured out because I don't have a clue."

After a moment of contemplation, he replied, "me neither."

"You can't say that, Josh. Who do you love?"

"Don't ask me that, Kayne. I have not thought about it yet."

Kayne wanted to end it there, continue pretending until Annie came back and they'd have to face the situation again but he had to know, "Do I stand a chance?"

"You stand too high a chance. Now, please, can we not talk about it?"

"Not me, Josh. Not me. I love you but not me."

There. Kayne said it. Josh stopped stroking Kayne's arm. He pushed himself onto his elbows to face Kayne, eyes tired and sad.

"If you love me, you'd want to fight for me, Kayne.  If you love me, you'd know that I can't not pick you."

"I do and that's why I'm telling you to not do it. You've loved Annie since you were a kid. I'm only that sentimental fling you don't want to leave. Flings are meant to be left behind."

"Stop it. Please. Before I say something I regret."

"Why are you so persistent?! Annie loves you with all her heart! Is that not enough?! Why do you have to have me too? Why do you need to break so many hearts?!" Kayne shoved Josh harshly off of him and onto the floor with a loud thump, tears flowing down his cheeks in anguish. "You're going to leave us anyway! Why can't you lessen the damage, you idiot? She loves you. She does. Pick HER!"

Josh stayed on the floor, staring up at Kayne sadly. 

"I don't want to hurt you--

"But you are! You keep us hanging, giving us a glimpse of some hope and then you just retract back into your shell and say you don't know."

"I'm sorry. I truly am," Josh said, struggling to get up. When he did, he merely touched Kayne's cheek again before he turned around.

And there was nothing worst than watching your dying lover fall onto the floor in agony and complete helplessness.

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A/N: Here is chapter 26, finally. I have been away for 3 months, mid-year examinations and all, but I've written and would like to know what you think. :)

Tell me who you think Josh will pick. Annie or Kayne? 

Oh, and do vote and all the good stuff!

P.S: I made a tag page for The Boy I Used To Know on my Tumblr. Go check it out. I will regularly be posting TBIUK-related stuff there from now on. 

http://burningsilversnow.tumblr.com/tagged/tbiutk

- A