Chapter 16

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Before you begin, I apologise if this chapter isn't as good as I though it would be. I've just finished watching Les Miserables and I'm sobbing uncontrollably. Thank you for taking your time. You may proceed. :')

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Could we stop the time that's flying

Or recall it when 'tis past,

Put far off the day of dying

Or make youth for ever last,

To love would then be worth our cost.

"You came back." Josh gasped as the door creaked open and Annie appeared. She waved the note and nodded. Her eyes danced across the room, avoiding eye contact with him when she saw they weren't alone. She looked at the boy on the bed that was placed next to Josh's.

"Annie, this is Kayne. My new roommate," Josh gestured to Kayne who waved slightly, then turned to him, "Kayne, this is Annie." They both briefly shook hands and Annie stood by Josh's bed, still not speaking.

"Oh, I'm sorry if my presence is not wanted at the moment but..." Kayne paused and lifted the blankets, exposing his lower torso, his left leg and that was it. He didn't have another. "N-n-no! I'm absolutely fine with you being in here." She smiled, sheepishly. He nodded then picked up a book to read, leaving Josh and Annie to each other.

"Did-" "I-" They both started at the same time. "You go first." Josh said. "I didn't mean it. What I said. It wasn't true." Annie told him, unfolding and folding the piece of paper nervously. "I know." Josh said. Annie looked up at him, looking straight at him for the first time today. She had a confused expression on her face.

"I've known you for 16 years, Annie Silverman. I would know." He answered. She let her gaze drop back on the paper. "I could choose to believe you but right now, I'm not very sure." His voice lowered. Annie's heart raced, it always did whenever she knew something bad was happening.

"If you didn't, what is this then?" She lifted the paper. Josh swallowed, which hurt his throat, and started but Annie stopped him. "If there was one person I know more than my own self, it's you. And you wouldn't just send a note that didn't mean anything." she said.

"It does mean something. I wanted you to love me for real, not just because I'm dying. I want you to see me more than just the weak, helpless boy I appear to be. I want you to treat me like I'm fine and talk to me like you used to. Not treat me like I'm going to crumble easily. Because I won't. I'm still fighting. I'm still strong enough." Josh paused and leaned forward to hold her hand.

"I want this- this- whatever you want to call it- to be real. But I know it's too big a request to ask from you. I want you to be happy while we're together but how can you when you live every second knowing that I'll be leaving anytime soon."

"You're not leaving, Josh." Annie whispered, she was desperate to tell him that it wasn't true, that she didn't pity love him and everything he thinks she is doing is all horribly wrong.

"Don't deny the inevitable. With or without you, preferably with but if not, I'll be fine. Really. Don't waste your love on me." Josh smiled halfheartedly.

"You're blind and an idiot." Annie informed him. He raised an eyebrow. "You're too blind to see that this is not one-sided. The feeling is mutual. And I'm not going to treat you like you're going to break." Annie stated.

"Why are you making this so hard, Annie? Hard for you when I die, hard for me to leave you, hard for every blasted thing in this world?! If I never told you, this wouldn't have happened. We've gotten in too deep because of the heat of the moment yesterday. I'm not going to break your heart."

"You won't! Don't you see that?! You won't. You think I'm this fragile, innocent little girl when in fact, I've got my heart broken more times than you have and look, I'm still standing! Yes, it will be hard when- when you're gone but I will survive. Look what happened with Nate." Annie argued, the knuckles on her clenched fist turning white.

"I don't want to make mistakes, Annie. I really don't. Especially not with you involved." Josh looked down, holding the tears back. He was so unclear. He wanted to love her even if it was only temporarily but at the same time, he didn't want to hurt her when the time came and starting all this now will only make letting go worse.

Annie sighed. "Loving you isn't a mistake; well, not to me." She stood to leave. "The only mistake we will ever make is failing to try in the first place." Then she walked out, willing her heart to hold long enough until she made it to the door. She wasn't going to fall apart in front of him.

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"A girl like you shouldn't be sitting here alone." Annie turned around to see Kayne walking towards her in the cafeteria. She gaped at his sudden ability to walk and he smiled. He lifted the sleeve of his right leg and a prosthetic limb was attached to it.

"You-you said-" "Yeah, I can't seem to mind my own business sometimes. Eavesdropper, that's my middle name." He laughed and sat beside her. She nodded, half convinced. "It's true. When you walked in all doom and gloom, I knew Josh was in heck of a lot of shit. And I thought it'd be interesting. Especially after what he has told me about you." He winked. Annie rolled her eyes and looked away.

"You shouldn't have came back." He deadpanned. She turned to glare at him like it was the most absurd thing to ever say. "You're only making it worse." He added.

"You don't know anything." Annie spat. "Maybe not, but I know a whole lot about these relationships and I swear they never end well. Which is obvious, isn't it?" He told her, matter-of-factly.

"He loves you but he doesn't want to hurt you. It may sound incredibly stupid but you and I both know who'll be hurting most when he's gone. And if you start something so much more intimate now, it'll only crush you harder later. Trust me, Annie. Let him go. Put your feelings for him back in that locked away chest behind your heart where it came from because I know the only reason you confessed now  is because you're afraid you won't have the chance to later." Kayne said.

Annie glanced back down with watery eyes because it was sort of true. She was afraid she'd run out of time, she knew she would be the only one hurting when it ended and above all, she's afraid to admit that she wants to love him so much now is because she wants as much of him as she can have before he's gone.

"Think about it, Annie. I've got to go. I told Josh I was off to the loo." He wobbled as he stood. Then, to her surprise, he leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I'll see you soon, beautiful." and winked before he left.

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A/N: Please don't kill me. I wanted to add Kayne for a long time now but it only came to me while I was writing this chapter. :D Sorry if it was a little unexpected or off, tell me what you think. :D And yay, Josh sort of made up with Annie. Sort of. :) Next chapter will be up soon. Vote, comment and all the good stuff.

P.S: The poem is just a part of a whole verse by Anne Finch. And if you listen to The Scientist (the Glee version) just before Josh and Annie's conversation ends, you will crumble to dust but that's the fun of it. :)

- Adelynn

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