𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐄

My neck bone cracks as I tilt it, I don't know when I dozed off to sleep. My back aches because of the wrong position I was sleeping in.

The urge to see him bursts in my heart, he still hasn't opened his eyes since 3days. I am making my way towards his room, I don't want to repeat my mistake. It is costing me too much. I can't risk it all again.

I hurry my footsteps towards his room, I don't want to waste even a second, a lot can change in just seconds and you won't know. We think we have our whole life to do things we want, but if we look at our lives do we know if we will be here the next second?

Perhaps No, it might be the hardest to open up to someone about your feelings, when all you have done is trust wrong people, open up to those you should never have. People don't realize what their words can do to someone, it can cause someone to bury their own grave or to rise from the grave they have been lying in.

Just words

What about actions?

I push his door open which takes a lot of strength to do, I don't know if it's because of my heart gaining weight from my emotions or me losing weight.

Slowly, I sit beside him. It takes a whole lot of courage, to clutch his hand in mine. He is the only one who can make me lose the weight of my heart.

Clutching his hands in mine, which fits so perfectly. Maybe we as humans our hands were made to fit with the one, we are meant to be. We are made to hold each other, to love each other. Just one look at him and my heart would burst open.

"You remember when you pulled me on top of yourself and said "you are so beautiful" I understood you were drunk. I use to hate you perhaps because I never got a chance to be this close to you, you never let me, you didn't even use to glance at me. The hatred for you grew more when you became close to Max. I never admitted that I was jealous of Max. Like you he got everything. For me life was different, I never got the attention I yearn to get from dad, from Max, and you. Then you came out of nowhere and became close to Max I hated you more then. Max and I were close to each other, I use to hate it when he used to laugh with you, eat with you, play with you instead of me. I hated that you get everything you wanted, until now, I realized that all the things you got, you deserved them not only those but a lot more" rubbing my cheeks I continue his hands still laced with mine. I can move however I want, he doesn't have any motion.

"You deserve everything good to happen to you, you deserve the best. You were always there in my life Eric, although you never noticed, you were always there. Everything changed when you left, I thought my life would be peaceful but it turned out to be the opposite. Worst, I knew you were my peace, Eric, you were the air I yearned for. You came back again out of nowhere, changed my perspectives. I started seeing the real you Max use to see. You made me feel as though I was enough. You always made me feel blessed. Eric, you are my medicine the cure for all my scars. You kiss away the pain I have ever felt. You make me better than I have ever been" I declare I wait for him to scot his eyes open but still he doesn't so I continue.

"You made me addicted to you, you made me see what life is and I knew I wanted you too, I knew you loved me but I was just pushing those feelings away. I felt everything when you kissed me again in the rain that night. You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline, I love you Eric - I do I love you" I tell him, but still he doesn't answer. My tears are still dropping down on his hands, making them wet. I wish for once my tears would be useful, for once they will sprout Eric like flowers do when rain touches them. I don't know if he can hear me or not, but I wish he did.

Placing my head on his bed, I sob. It's like I am talking to myself. Lying my head, on his bed. My eyes feel having because of crying so much, I don't know why these tears haven't ended yet.

The big white door opens, Rayce is glued to my side holding my shoulders for God knows what reason. I wait for the doctor to come out and tell us that Eric has made progress and that he is back to life.

The sight catches my eyes when people dressed in blue push his stretcher out. But why is he still on the stretcher? Perhaps, because the doctors didn't allow him to walk just now. I tell myself

The grip on my shoulder tightens as Eric lying on the stretcher comes in view first of his feet, then his abdomen, then the upper part of his face. My eyes widen to see his face covered with a white cloth. I freeze The sight is enough to shatter the little wall of hope I have been trying to build inside me.

"He is not Eric!" I yell

"Rayce, Rayce they killed him to call the cops to  call the cops"

"We are sorry," someone says, I see nothing my eyes are still on his lifeless body. "Stop don't touch me!" I scowl at Rayce who is pushing me away from Eric.

"Avery-" I hear a distant voice. Have you ever been sleeping in bed and hearing what all is going around you?

"Avery- I am - here" comes another I feel my hands squeeze but it's weak. I am so confused right now that I don't notice it.

I scoot my eyes open. Looking around the room, to find no one in particular. It lands on his retreating figure. "Avery" he whispers again and this time I know from where the voice is coming. 

"Eric," I say my heart explodes at seeing a pair of amber eyes staring right into my blue ones. A small smile tugs at his lips, oh God how much I have missed it.