Hey guys! We wrote this as a one-shot but it was pretty long so i had to make it a two parter! It's set after fighting shadows and this was just a theory we came up with! Hopefully, i can get the second part tomorrow! Meanwhile, we hope you like this one! If you want to read our personal fanfics and one shots, you can find Amanda as touchekensalina and myself as imgonnacallyoufern! Have a great dayyy.
-Hanaaa
All she could hear was the roar of the engine as they drove home after a pretty intense talk with Hetty. Deeks had rested his chin on his palm as he stared out the window.
"Why are you so quiet?" Kensi asked though she was fully aware what was bothering him so much. Not wanting to talk about it, Deeks ignored her and continued staring out the window, drowning in his thoughts and emotions.
"Deeks..." She rested a hand on his thigh while she kept the other on the steering wheel.
"What?" He said, voice barely audible without turning away from the window.
"What's wrong? You're never this quiet"
"You shouldn't care. You shouldn't be near me right now. Why are here, Kens?"
"When i say I'm going to be here for you, i mean it, Deeks." Slightly annoyed, she scoffed and accelerated.
Deeks finally turned to face her for the first time since leaving Hetty's office. "I'm sorry...just used to being targeted and having no one around me" He said softly before turning back to look out the window.
"Well you're going to have to get used to having me around for just about anything you're going through." Both hands back on the steering wheel now, she occasionally turned to face him, hoping to read his responses since he was barely gave any.
"When we got together, I actually thought we'd be okay. And now there's internal affairs after me so i really don't get why you'd wanna be with me right now, you could get hurt or fired."
"You know what? I don't care! I don't! Because...because i love you and i don't like seeing you hurt" Kensi's eyes started to water as she flared out on him.
Deeks shut his eyes, chin still rested on his palm. "Kens...don't do this, don't turn this into a fight, please." He pleaded.
"I'm not. I just-I need you to understand..." Her voice softened and she too briefly shut her eyes since there was not a single car on the street as they neared Deeks's place.
"Okay...i do, i get...i get it, I'm sorry"
"you better be..." Kensi sighed as she pulled over to his house.
Deeks turned towards the door and barely turned his head to face her. He just couldn't bare to let her see him like this. He wanted her to stay so bad but somehow he thought that she wanted to go home.
"I'll uh...see you tomorrow"
"You don't...want me to stay?" Kensi asked softly as she looked down at her hands.
"You want to stay?" Deeks tilted his head so he could see her clearly.
"Only if you want me to"
"Uh, yeah, no of course I want you to stay but I'm...I'm scared."
"Scared? Scared of what?" She asked curiously.
They got out of the car and walked slowly side by side to Deeks's front door. Deeks had his head bowed down the entire time, trying to hide the fact that his heart was pounding and his hands were shaking. For a split second, he regretted inviting Kensi in but he felt safe whenever she was around. He had to tell her.
"You know, don't you?" He asked as he opened the door.
"What?" She pretended to feel confused and her eyebrows furrowed.
Deeks closed the door behind them and leaned against the wall next to it as Kensi made her way to the couch. "That I lied to Hetty back at her office."
"I wouldn't be much of a partner if i hadn't known...or a girlfriend for that matter" Kensi stated rather firmly with a raised brow. "Are you okay?"
"No...and you wont be either once i tell you what else I've been hiding."
It took much persuasion on Kensi's part to get Deeks to get open up and get over his fear of telling her what he was hiding.
He leaned against the wall and looked straight at Kensi who was sitting in the couch, facing him.
"My dad didn't die in a car crash..." His said as his voice was about to break.
"W-what?"
"I killed him...i had to, i really had to."
