Weyheyyyy. So we havent update in ages and its mostly because the both of us are insanely busy with many things going on this year! But we'll try update as best as we can! Hope you guys like this oneee.
-Hana
After finally pulling away from each other, Deeks and Kensi walks silently to the mess. She tries her best to imagine that they were going to dinner together like they did back in LA but it was nothing like that. The humid and dusty air of Afghanistan was nothing like the cool and cleaner air back home. The images of the men that tortured her plays around in her head.
"So i guess now i really do know how you felt." she blurts out, breaking the silence.
"Kensi, I-I wasnt implying that...you know that" Deeks whispers as he turns around to face her. Visibly trembling, she folds her arms across her stomach, clutching at it.
"I just kinda hoped you'd be right" Kensi admits softly, her voice cracking and vulnerable.
"You-What? Kensi..."
Deeks slowly takes a step closer towards her. All Kensi could do was look down at her trembling hands and stop herself from breaking down.
"I knew the dangers of this job, Deeks. But i don't know if i can get through this..." She says, finally looking up to see the tears welling up in Deeks's eyes as his own memories start coming back.
"I get that it's hard. Hell, i haven't gotten over what happened to me...But Kensi...if we've gone through this, we can both overcome it." No matter how confident Deeks tries to sound, Kensi knows him well enough to pick up on the hint of fear in his voice.
Not entirely believing that they could overcome it, Kensi decides to bring up something else. "Sorry for how i acted before i was sent away" Kensi apologises while trying her best to look into his blue eyes.
"Don't apologise, okay?" Deeks pulls her into a hug and cradles the back of the head while his free hand wraps around her waist.
"I shouldn't have hit you and i should've apologised a long time ago, Deeks. Im so sorry." Kensi sobs into his chest, clutching the back of his jacket.
"You had every reason to. Hey, i would've done the same if you were a dude." Deeks smirks as he pulls away, his hands resting gently on her waist.
"How do you do that?" She chuckles softly.
"What? Make you laugh? it's quite tricky actually." Deeks nods to himself, clearly proud that he's managed to make her laugh and forget all that's happened, even if it was just for a second.
Kensi laughs softly and rests her head on his chest as her hands slide down to wrap around his waist. "I missed you so much."
"I'm sure i missed i missed you more, but i don't want to compare stats here." Deeks jokes. He drops a hand to the small of her back and gently pulls her closer to him. Suddenly, he feels her body tense up against his as she immediately pulls away.
"Deeks I'm-I need to throw up." Immediately, she starts gagging as she runs out of the mess. Ignoring the burning stares of everyone there, Deeks runs out after her.
"I can't-I can't eat anything. I haven't eaten anything in too long..." She says in between gags. Deeks rubs her back gently. He brings her to the bathroom and slowly lifts the hem of the shirt and for the first time, sees the extent of the injury to her ribs.
"Kens" He breathes shakily.
Kensi takes his hands and pulls her shirt back down. "I can't do this I-"
"Kensi look at yourself...you-you have to get treatment. I almost lost you, I can't do this again." He begs, hands grasping hers desperately.
"Deeks...I just want to stay home i don't want to go anywhere, please..."
"And i don't want to lose you" He mutters, loosening his grip on her hands.
Kensi shuts her eyes and looks down. "Deeks, stop..."
"I'm not going to stop. I can't lose you. I can't."
"Why won't you just say it?" She asks. Deeks clenches his jaw, clearly taken aback from her question. Deep inside, he knows what she means. He thinks he does but he had hoped he didn't have to tell her this way.
"What? Say what, Kensi...?"
"What we've been too afraid to say." Kensi finally looks up at him, tears forming in her mismatched eyes.
"Kens..."
"Stop...stop saying my name over and over." She pleads as her hands slide down his chest.
He lets out a long sigh and for a while, he just looks at her. "I love you. And i can't lose you."
"I'd kiss you if i hadn't thrown up. Im really lucky to have you though."
"Im the lucky one. I love you so much." He admits once more as he cups her jaw.
"I love you too..." Kensi answers softly. "So...what now?"
Deeks kisses her forehead and places his hands gently on her waist. "Let's get some sleep yeah?"
