Captured

Chapter 20

My life continued according to Kane's schedule. He allowed me to visit Rose and Calla and we talked about the pregnancy and reminisced about our life when we were free. We'd taken it for granted, our ability to live the way we wanted without our male oppressors punishing us for our acts.

I also missed the simple things. The freedom to talk to my friends whenever I wanted. The freedom to wear what I wanted. The freedom to go outside whenever I wanted to.

It had been so long since I'd been outside, since I'd seen the sky and the trees and breathed in fresh air. My skin itched with desperation and one day, I found myself wondering out the apartment and through the halls while Kane and the other men were in the arena, training.

I reached the front door and the urge to run was overwhelming. So I forced the door open and ran, letting my legs carry me into the woods.

It was so good to feel free again. To know that I could keep running for the rest of my life and nobody could stop me.

It was a refreshing thought and I allowed it to fill my mind as I ran. I ran until I was breathless and then I found a tree and rested my weight against it, letting the fresh air fill my lungs.

Above me, birds squawked and nested in the trees. The wind whistled through the thick of the forest and the leaves crunched under my feet.

I allowed my eyes to close and dropped to the ground, resting properly for the first time in a while. My hands rested on my stomach and the urge to take my baby and just keep running was strong.

However, I knew that Kane would hunt me down. There was nowhere in the world that I could go where he wouldn't find me. Not while I had his child and heir. I knew without a shadow of doubt that even if I managed to get away and survive alone, he'd find me and drag me back. That he'd kill the people I love and then take my baby from me. Leaving him would mean losing everything.

I jumped at the sound of the tree bark splitting and shot around to see an arrow lodged in the tree above me. "What the hell," I hissed, turning to see Kane glaring at me, a storm in his eyes and another arrow ready to fly straight into my chest.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?" He snarled, prowling forward, bow and arrow still aimed at me.

"Would you relax?" I spat. "I just wanted some fresh air. And we both know you aren't going to shoot at me!" I scoffed, gesturing to my stomach in case he needed the reminder.

"I'm not going to kill you," he corrected, taking another step forward. "Don't test me on whether I'd shoot you," he hissed, "not when you just tried to run with my child!"

"I wasn't trying to run!" I defended, shaking my head. "I just needed a minute where I wasn't sat in your apartment or in that building! I needed one minute of freedom!"

He shook his head. "Your freedom is mine," he snapped, lowering the bow and grasping my arm. "You don't do anything without my permission."

I shook him off me, backing away from him. "You've made that abundantly clear," I hissed, "but being in there is sucking the life out of me. I needed a minute to myself. That's all."

"If you dare try to run-," he started, his fists clenched.

"I'm not trying to run!" I yelled furiously. "You've made it very clear that my usefulness has a time limit and I intend to know my child."

He looked taken aback and nodded. "Good. Don't forget it."

I rolled my eyes and pulled the arrow from the tree. He looked on edge for a moment, a warning flashing in his eyes as I turned back to him with it in my hand. I tossed it to the ground away from me and sat back down against the tree.

"What are you doing?" He snapped as I shut my eyes, trying to block him out.

"Taking a minute," I answered quietly.

"Get up!" He barked.

I ignored him, taking in a long, deep breath and soaking in as much sunlight as possible. I was already a few months into the pregnancy and in that short time, everything had changed.

He was silent for a while and when I dared to peek up at him, I saw him standing, staring down at me with a curious look on his face. "What did you mean," I started, a conversation from a while back playing on my mind, "when you said some people enjoy making a baby?"

It had been in the back of my mind since I begged him not to force Calla into trying again. So far, he hadn't and I was so relieved but I couldn't stop thinking over his words.

"It can feel good," he said after a moment of silence. "If it's done properly."

I raised an eyebrow and opened my eyes, wanting to look him in the eye as I asked, "did we do it properly?"

His eyes narrowed and he nodded. "You can't make a baby if the man doesn't feel good," he stated, his gaze fixed on something behind me while I stared back at him, uncomfortable, nervous and angry all at once.

"What about the woman?" I asked, gritting my teeth.

He shrugged, looking back to me. "The woman doesn't matter. As long as the man feels good, you can make a baby."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Of course not," I muttered. "How does that work? How is that fair?"

"It's not supposed to be fair! It's just how it works," he snapped, "not everything is a attack against women. One part of what makes a baby exists inside you and the other part is inside me. You grow the baby so I have to put what's inside me into you. That requires release. And to get that, it needs to feel good. That's it."

I scoffed. "So women don't ever get to feel good?"

He shook his head. "That's not necessarily true,  but if they do, it's because the man wants them to. It's just another aspect that we control. And we always will," he growled.

I clenched my fists, turning away from his dark eyes. "Why did you bring it up," he asked.

"I hate you," I told him honestly. He'd taken my freedom. My choice. He'd threatened my friends and my sister. He'd threatened me, threatened to take my child from me if I stepped out of line. He was everything I hated about men and I hadn't felt hatred like this since my father used the same threats and violence to keep me under his thumb. "But I can't stop thinking about it. About how it felt," I admitted softly, feeling weak for giving him exactly what he wanted. The knowledge that he held power over me.

I couldn't look at him while I waited for him to say something. "I hate you too," he finally muttered and I clenched my jaw, about to yell when he continued. "But you don't have to like the person to enjoy it," he muttered, "if that was the case, you wouldn't be pregnant."

The realisation that he had enjoyed it. He'd liked what had happed and felt good about it sunk in. But I didn't know whether it was being with me that he liked or the power he had over me.

Before I could even think about daring to ask, there was a howl in the distance and when I looked up, I noticed the sun had started to fall from the sky. "Let's go," he growled, turning and walking away with an authority that let me know that he knew I'd follow. He knew he had complete power over me and as much as I hated it, I followed him back into my prison.