Seven

Chapter 1

"We're sympathetic to your situation Miss Kapley but unfortunately there isn't anything we can do. The neglect to your studies has impacted your grades and you've fallen short of the expectations of your scholarship." The chancellor tells me, sitting in her chair behind the large oak desk that separates me from her and my academic file.

"Is there no way I could apply for some kind of special exemption?" I ask meekly, looking down at my hands while picking at my chipped polished nails.

"We're happy to give you a consideration exemption for the exams you missed given you can supply all the paperwork." She answers, placing my file to the side and adjusting the large glasses on her long nose.

"But your scholarship has been revoked. And you will have to retake some courses for the internals you missed." She concludes sympathetically.

"When could I re-sit the exams?" I ask looking up from my lap.

"Next semester. You will have to reapply to retake your majoring classes though since you've missed two months. I must remind you payment for courses are due once you've completed your enrolment in them." She turns her attention to a stack of papers and pamphlets.

How am I meant to find ten thousand dollars for my classes in three months? I still have the last of my grandmothers medical bills to pay. The realisation of losing not only my scholarship but my university education is now weighing down on me. My eyes prick with the disappointment and I look to the side, pretending to look over her various framed certificates adorning the wall and blink back my tears.

I've cried so much this last week that my eyes now burn at the feeling of extra moisture.

"We have some incredible programs available here you may want to utilise. We have a great grief counselling you may find useful." The chancellor speaks again, sliding her stack of self help and healing notes over her desk to me.

Don't get me wrong, it is nice of her. But the amount of flyers people have handed me since my grandmothers death is taking its toll. There's only so many times a girl can read about the benefits of being outdoors, surrounding yourself with loved ones and, "accepting what is," before you start to grow frustrated.

The thing is, being outdoors doesn't have much to offer me apart from glorious views of concrete. I don't have any loved ones left to surround myself with. And as for accepting what is, well I think my complete break down this week from realising I was now completely alone in life has been my way of accepting, "what is."

"Thank you." I accept the collection of support brochures, recognising one of them as the same one the doctors gave me in the hospital after they told me my grandmother had passed away.

"I look forward to seeing you next semester, Miss Kapley." She begins to dismiss me and I stand from my chair.

"For what it's worth, Lilianna, I'm very sorry for your loss." Her tone is sincere.

I'm still unsure how to react to people saying this to me. I give her a tight nod in gratitude for her words before leaving the large office.

Walking across campus I try not to let it dawn on me that this will be the last time I'm here as an enrolled student. But I can't pretend like I didn't see this being the outcome. I knew choosing to look after my grandmother these last two months and abandoning my studies would result in me falling behind and possibly losing my scholarship. But I'd never regret that decision.

My grandmother Mera was my rock. She was the kindest person I've ever known and did literally anything for me. I couldn't leave her side as soon as she got sick, deciding to nurse her at home myself till things progressed too much for my experience. She moved into the hospital then, and still I never left her side till she passed one night in her sleep.