Seven

Chapter 61

SEVEN'S POV

"I won't stop completely. I still need it to sleep." I say standing over the toilet, my stash in hand threatening to tip.

"All of it Sev. You've got sober before, you can do it again." Curby says next to me.

"Shit was different before." I remind him. I hadn't fucking murdered someone before and I hadn't had all my emotional walls broken down by a certain blonde who unknowingly convinced me to fall in love with her.

"What would make it better then? If you stopped taking this what else would make the shit in your head stop?" He asks.

"Death." I answer and give him a smirk.

"That's not fucking funny man. I'm being serious." Curby slaps my back causing a bit of powder to spill into the toilet.

"Watch it!" I warn him, cradling the drugs carefully.

"That's the whole point of this shit. You're going to flush them anyway, so just say what is the better option to get rid of this shit?" He reminds me why we've been standing here in the toilet for the last five minutes while I waiver back and forth about whether I'm actually going to flush them or not.

There is one thing, other than a narcotic or alcohol that might help but I know he'll think it's even worse then the substances.

I stare down at the flakes of powder that sit on top of the water in the toilet. Such a waste. I withdraw my hostage hand from over the toilet for the millionth time since we've been in here and Curby groans, rolling his eyes.

"No, I can't do it. I need them." I look at the clear plastic baggies of pills and powder. My closest friends for the last few months.

"For fuck sakes Seven, no you fucking don't." Curby groans, sick of going in circles with me over this.

"There is one thing that might help." I stare at the wall.

"Good! Okay, what is it?" Curby asks, slicking his hair back.

"If I can get it then I'll stop. I'll stop everything I promise." I meet his eyes, meaning every single word. I would give it all up for this. But he's going to hate what I want.

"What ever it is we'll get it." He assures me.

"You promise?" I push him, bringing my full hand back over the toilet and he nods.

"Yes. Now dump them and tell me what it is you want!" He's agitated but relieved I've come to some kind of conclusion. He's really going to hate this, but he just promised.

"Okay." I say simply and turn my palm. The packets of drugs fall quickly into the toilet and I flush it without another glance down at them. Curby looks at me astonished, as if he didn't think I was actually going to do it. Fuck, I didn't think I was either. But if it means I get what I want then I'll go without food or water if need be.

"You never said what you wanted me to get to help?" Curby says and I can't help the smirk that twitches at my lips.

"Lily." I say her name for the first time in months. My chest aches a little at the sound of it but the look on Curby's face is kind of worth it.

"No." He answers shortly and turns, leaving me in the toilet alone but I'm quick to follow after him.

"Yes. You promised." I point out and Curby shakes his head, still angrily pacing towards the kitchen. I stay following him close behind.

"No Seven. Are you fucking crazy? You're not even certain she wasn't working for Sergey." He grumbles and opens the fridge, grabbing out a beer. Cheers man, make me throw my drugs out then chug a beer in front of me. Real nice.