Closing the distance

Chapter 4

Sona wiped her tears and opened her handbag, revealing a blue and golden brocade pouch. She opened its strings and took the contents out. She slowly ran her fingers on Ma's shakha pola bangles. The ones that had adorned her hands for four decades. The hands were no longer there, but touching her inanimate bangles felt like she was touching her mother again, feeling her pulse again. The connection was indescribable.

The day after Dev left was when the situation plunged, gaining momentum fast. The nephrologist did not have a good prognosis. Ma's kidneys were affected and had incurred significant damage. She was put on dialysis. The antibiotics did not help. Her health was declining sharply, as severe sepsis set in. The doctors were taken aback by how fast she was sinking as they tried different methods to stabilize her. Sona's anxiety was going through the roof and to make matters worse, Baba was on an overdrive, yelling at the doctors, nurses, staff and getting extremely worked up about what was happening to his wife.

Ma's systolic BP was falling and the most recent blood test showed a very abnormal WBC count again. Much lower than expected. Her body did not seem to be fighting off the infection at all. Sona took deep breaths imagining Ma asking her to calm down. She needed to take charge of the situation right now. That is what Ma would have wanted.

"Baba, why don't you and Dada take a short walk outside, and get some fresh air? It will help you to clear your mind. I will stay here."

"I AM NOT LEAVING MY WIFE AND GOING ANYWHERE." He thundered.

Her voice trembled as she tried to convince him again. "Baba. I am not asking you to leave Ma and go anywhere. I am asking you to calm down. For her. That is what she would've wanted. She would've said, "Bijoy, you need to relax."

Her words had the desired effect and he conceded. "Okay, 5 minutes. No more. Come on, Saurabh."

Few minutes without any interruption, just her and Ma, was what she needed. She sat down, holding her mother's hand. What was happening. Why was this happening. Ma was supposed to get better. Why was she getting worse by the minute? She fervently prayed to all the Gods to please help, please protect her Ma, please help her get better. 'Ma, you know I need you. Please fight this. For me, for all of us.'

The nurse came to check on her vitals and the alarm on her face did not need to be spelled out, as Baba and Saurabh entered. A team of specialists was immediately summoned on an emergency as the room suddenly became a hub of intense, frantic activity. All three of them were forcefully ushered outside as the doctors worked on Ma. More doctors crowded in the room, as the three of them stood outside, not knowing what was happening. Sona didn't have the luxury of panicking as Baba was completely losing control. She and Dada held on to him trying to compose him with empty words of optimism that none of them believed in. "Baba, Baba, please. Please stop, please stop" Sona cried, as her father yelled outside in the corridor demanding to be let in to be with his wife. He pounded on the door, as Saurabh Dada dragged him to be seated and held him there. "Let me go, my Asha needs me!!!!" Both his children helplessly held on to him in a tight hug, this was their cocoon of a world, and they would never ever let go of it.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door to Ma's room opened and the doctor stepped out.

They didn't have to be told anything. Not one word. Not anymore.

Baba and Saurabh Dada rushed inside in a loud wail, but Sona sat rooted to her spot. There was an intense ringing in her ears and it kept getting louder and louder. She put her hands on her ears, willing it to stop, but that just made it worse. She felt like her eardrums would shatter from the pressure. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, wanting it to end.

When she opened them, she found herself in a strange place that was covered in a thick fog. Miles and miles of dense fog. She looked around, not able to make out anything. There was a bright white light, far away, like the sun itself had settled there. She could barely look in that direction. As she tried to figure out where she was, her eyes opened wide as she saw her mother standing right in front of her. Looking at her.

Ma was a vision, serene yet spectacular. Clad in a lovely white saree with a red border, her long luscious hair was loose, cascading down to her waist, a dark curtain against the whiteness of her saree as well as the fog. Her palms were decorated with alta. Sona was worried to see her up. 'Ma, what are you doing up? You need to rest.' She did not answer. Instead, she simply turned and started walking away. Into the fog. Towards that light. Terror engulfed Sona and she protested, 'No Ma, don't go there, that looks dangerous.' But Ma didn't seem to hear her. If she did, she ignored her. Sona tried to understand. Where was Ma going? What was there, that she needed to go there?

Ma kept walking, no, she kept gliding towards it. Sona knew she had to act right now, or it might be too late. Why was it so foggy? Where was everyone? Why wasn't anyone stopping her? 'Ma, ma, please stop. That doesn't seem okay at all.' Sona peeled herself from her spot and followed her, her hands reached out to grab her by her saree's pallu before she got hurt. But Ma was moving fast and Sona's hands only came up with emptiness. Sona found herself running after her. But somehow the faster she ran, the quicker Ma seemed to be slipping away. Why was this happening? The clamor in her ears was also getting worse making it much harder to focus on Ma. And the fog, the dense fog... How was Ma able to see through this? Sona was running blind now, as she delved deeper into the foggy unknown.

Ma was starting to put significant distance between them now, terrifying Sona. What if she is not able to see her anymore? What if Ma gets lost here in this unknown area? She needed to get to her faster. Sona picked up her pace.

And that is when it happened. Sona stumbled and before she knew it, she felt herself freefalling into the air, into the nothingness. Her mind told her to brace herself for the fall, but her heart told her to wait. Wait for his arms. She listened to her heart, closed her eyes and waited. Waited for Dev's strong arms to catch her, to envelop her before she fell, before she touched ground. She waited for him to hold her close to his heart and protect her from getting hurt, soothe her pain away.

His arms did not come to break her fall. He did not come to protect her from getting hurt.

Sona fell, hitting the hard ground and the pain jolted her. Where was Dev? Why didn't he catch her when she tripped? She slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the harsh, clinical lights of the hospital. The fog had cleared and the bright white sunlight had disappeared as well. She stood up unsteadily, unsure.

"Dev??" She called out in a small voice. No answer.

"Ma??" She tried again. No answer.

"Dev......Ma... Dev...Ma..." She called out again and again. Why was she alone in this hospital corridor?

She put her hand up to her forehead, touching something wet and sticky trickling down her face. She looked at her fingers, the blood a bright red, yanking her back to face the harsh truth. Ma.. Her mother, her guide, her best friend, her confidante, her North Star had decided to leave her and depart this world. And Dev... Her love, her husband, her better half, her pillar of strength, her World couldn't be here.

A strangled cry escaped her throat as Sonakshi collapsed in a heap on the hard, cold marble floor of the hospital.

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Dev's reaction coming up soon in the next chapter!