Closing the distance

Chapter 8

Dev picked up the framed photo of his family on his desk. His lovely wife Sonakshi, his cute kids Suhana and Shubh. Perfect, just perfect. Or so he thought.

Sonakshi had come back after 15 days or so from her parents' house. She seemed much better and their home was full of sounds again, their life resumed again. She was initially a bit aloof but that was understandable. She had been very close to her mother and he expected it will take time for her to get back to her normal self. He had convinced himself that once she was ready to talk to him about her mother, she will and he will be there for her. Until then, he wouldn't badger her and he would try not to worry her with any of his own issues.

He had gotten very busy with his new project in Malaysia. In addition, he started expanding his company and dipped his toes in real estate here in Delhi. He had an ambitious project in mind to pursue: an entire township. There was a lot of hassle involved in securing the land that he wanted. He had to go through a number of political channels and dealing with politicians and their lackeys is never easy or straightforward. In Delhi, everyone and their mother was related to someone political. It was stressful, the never-ending meetings, the constant phone calls, the incessant back and forth with them.

Stress became a way of life. But he never talked about his stressful work and work-related stress with Sonakshi. Strange. He used to talk about everything with her. And then somewhere along the road, he stopped. Why did he stop? Now, sitting in his office and thinking about it, it dawned on him. It probably started after Asha Ma's death when he didn't want to bother her with work related issues while she was dealing with her mother's death. He realized how keeping her from all of his issues became part of him, gradually, steadily, without even being aware of it. His stress, his anxiety became only his own cargo and he dealt with it as he knew best: bottle it all up and medicate. He had started to take anxiety medication. He knew Sonakshi would disapprove if she ever found out, so he made sure to hide it from her.

Life was going well. Natasha's husband invested in his township and it was a good partnership. Sonakshi and he often met them socially and it was always fun. He was glad Natasha was able to find a loving life partner. Sonakshi was immersed in her work, the kids, household. She visited her father often. He wondered how she was able to manage it all so perfectly. They were doing well as a couple too. Sure, sometimes she would look a little sad, but then that moment would pass and they would be the same Dev and Sona again. They still loved each other a lot, she was his life and their home was a happy one.

Or so he thought, until he overdosed on his anxiety medication by accident. It had been a particularly stressful day. He was in the process of evacuating some destitute people residing on the land that he had purchased. It had been very hard to deal with them, some of them crying piteously and pleading with him. He tried to tell them that he would arrange alternate living arrangements, but none of it was making any difference. In addition, he found out that his staff got into a physical tiff with them, with one of his men getting hit with a brick. Police had to be called and it was a colossal mess. His anxiety was at peak, with increased heart rate and general feelings of panic. When he got home, he had taken a few extra pills just to cope better. Result was that he unintentionally overdosed on them. Sonakshi found out about the pills, and her angry but shaken, distressed look was something he would never want to see again. She made appointments with a psychiatrist to get him a mental evaluation. He protested that it was an accident and he wouldn't do it again, but she refused to hear another word from him. They had also ended up in marriage counseling. Dev really didn't see the need for all this and he didn't want to go to these sessions. But when he heard her express to the counselor how much she loved him, that he was her whole world, her everything, Dev swore he would go through therapy as well the counseling with her dedicatedly.