Closing the distance

Chapter 6

Sona put the bangles carefully back in the brocade pouch, and placed it in her purse. She always carried them with her, it made her feel closer to Ma. Her little things, her belongings somehow accentuated that feeling of being near her even though she has travelled far, far away...

Sonakshi looked at the piece of paper in her hand. So harmless and innocent it looked, like any other regular piece of paper. But it wasn't. It was the heaviest thing she had ever held. Death Certificate. For Asha Bose. Is this what that remains behind? Her mother is now a document, a piece of paper? Sona had prepared for a lot of happenings in her life, but never this day, where she would hold her own mother's death certificate in her hand and check to make sure there were no mistakes in it.

Mistakes. The biggest mistake has already occurred. Her mother was no more.

Sona opened the wardrobe and stood there, staring at Ma's clothes, her jewelry, her makeup. She pulled one saree out, held it close to her nose and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. 

Ma. Sona had always been close to her father, she was her Daddy's girl. She could talk to him about anything at all. But when she couldn't talk about something, she always went to Ma. Because Ma simply knew. No words were ever needed, she understood.

The years when she was separated from Dev were long and lonely. There were times during that period when she missed Dev so much, she wanted him so badly that she wouldn't be able to breathe. Those times, she could never turn to Baba. No. She would go and simply hold Ma's hand, drawing strength from her, to breathe, to survive and maybe eventually thrive. Sometimes a couple hours, sometimes all night long. During those times, Ma never used to ask her anything. Not once did she question her, 'What happened Shona, what bothered you?' Because she already knew. Ma used to look at her, her eyes all-knowing, and gently caress her hand, as they sat together in silence, until Sona was ready to face the world again. Once she had asked her, 'Ma, why do you never ask me what happened?' She had replied, 'Because I know that you will tell me when you are ready. I know you will talk about him when you are ready.' Sona had immediately become defensive and refuted, 'Ma I don't want to talk about him, I will never talk about him. In fact, I never even think about him.' Ma hadsmiled gently, and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and ended the conversation with one word. 'Liar'.

Sonakshi held her hand up and gazed at it. When Dev wasn't there and she missed him, Ma held this hand and provided her strength. But when today, Ma isn't here and when she misses her....

Sona shook herself out of her reverie and tried to focus on the situation. Focus on this right now, she told herself, and not on him. Baba's heart was not doing well after Ma's death, his BP had risen very high and he was put on complete rest. Dada was taking care of him, so all the responsibility to arrange for the funeral preparations fell on her. Vicky and Elena were helping. Jatin had flown in immediately from Bangalore. Dada had informed her that Dev's flight will reach in the morning. 

Why does absence weigh so much?

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Dev reached his office and instructed his secretary to hold all his calls and messages. He locked his cabin and settled down on his chair, letting his mind take him back. He would never forget that day when he saw Asha Ma..that last time...

Dev reached home from the airport, where Kichu Bhaiyya informed him that everyone had gone to Doctor Didi's house. Dev quickly changed into a kurta and rushed to the Boses' house. The whole place was crowded, filled with friends and relatives. He did not recognize most of them but a lot of them recognized him and came to talk to him, offering their condolences. 'Jamai babu, where were you, we were looking for you. So sorry about your mother-in-law, really bad.' Dev accepted all their words, with folded hands, as he tried to make his way past, inside.

Thankfully, his uncle rescued him from the mourners and guided him inside. "Mamaji, where is Sonakshi? I really need to see her."

"She is probably inside, Dev beta. Poor Sonakshi. Bijoy Bhaisaheb has been in a very bad state and Saurabh had to take him to the doctor. So, it was Sonakshi who had to make all the funeral arrangements. She has been running around doing everything since it happened. Jatin has been helping after he came back from Bangalore. But you have come just in time, beta. They are going to take the body for cremation. So you must pay your respects to Ashaji now. Go on."

Dev entered the hall, where Asha Ma had been laid to rest. There was silence with all eyes on him. Dev stepped forward in a daze. He could see his own mother, Elena, Mamiji in the crowd of ladies on one side of the room. Asha Ma had been laid down in the middle of the room and decorated with flowers and vermilion. He kneeled down and touched her feet. She looked beautiful. Except for the cotton plugged into her nostrils and ears, she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. Maybe she was. Maybe she would just wake up and everyone would realize that they made a mistake. Yes, that's what is going to happen. His mind and his heart beseeched  her, 'Asha Ma, please wake up. Please open your eyes. I promise I would never trouble your daughter again nor would I ever annoy your husband. Please wake up. Just once.'

His trance was broken when the priest cleared his throat, declaring that it was time. Dev was enlisted to go to the cremation ground, as one of her bearers, alongwith Saurabh, Jatin and Vicky. He lifted one side of the pallet, her final resting place  to his right shoulder. As he stood up carrying Asha Ma, his eyes finally fell on the person he had been desperately yearning to see.

She stood holding her father, dressed in a plain white kurta while Suhana and Shubh clung to her legs.

Their eyes met across the room.

His full of immense regret. Hers filled with inconsolable grief.

Before he could react, they were instructed to move and he started the walk, the final journey of Asha Ma. He heard Baba call out for his wife, and Sonakshi consoling him as they both collapsed into tears of anguish.