Closing the distance

Chapter 7

Sona checked her schedule. Jatin should be here anytime now. She wondered if he was getting held up with the client. But it is okay. She was immersed in memories right now....memories that were sneaking up from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

Sonakshi was sitting in her room, unpacking her bag and putting her things away in the cupboard in her room. Her mother had been cremated and everyone had returned home. The urn with Ma's ashes was kept in the living room, ready for immersion. A framed photo of her had also been placed with a garland of fresh lilies on it. They were Ma's favorite flowers. She also had made sure to light lilly scented incense sticks. Smell is such a powerful connector. Scents always trigger those special memories made with special people. Lilies will always remind her of Ma.

Shubh came jumping in, wanting to play soccer with her. She smiled at the little guy. Children were stress busters. In this extreme moment of grief, where she was missing her mother intensely, Shubh had the ability to make her forget all the pain for one second and bring a genuine smile to her face. Baba used to say, everyone has the right to break down in their lives. But somehow she never got that right. When she and Dev separated, she never got the chance to mourn their relationship. She had to immediately find a job, a source of income, she had to find a place to live for herself and her entire family. In addition, she had to find the courage to face pregnancy and life as a single mother. She never got the luxury to break down, shatter completely and weep her heart out. And now it was happening again. Ma is no more but she cannot break down. She has to be the strong support for her father. But at least the kids alleviate her pain for a few moments.

"Mumma, goalllllll!"

"Yes Shubh, goal! But I have told you, you cannot kick the ball inside the house, you are going to break something!"

"Mumma, kick!"

"No darling, no kick inside. Kick only outside house!" Shubh kicked the ball hard as she finished the sentence.

"Shubh! Didn't Mumma say not to kick inside?" Dev walked into the room. "Go, Saurabh Mamu has new candy for all of you." The magic word had been uttered. Shubh ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. "Candyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Dev closed the door after him and locked it. It was the first time they had gotten to be alone since he got back from his seminar and Ma's cremation. They looked at each other as he walked over to her, gathering her in his arms. "I am so sorry this happened, Sonakshi. I am so sorry about Asha Ma. I know this is an extremely difficult time, but I am here and I......... what is this?"

His finger touched the band-aid on her left temple, the deep sympathy in his eyes immediately turning to possessive concern. "Are you hurt? How did you get hurt? How did this happen? Did you fall?"

His concern choked her up with emotion, remembering how she had got hurt. Her heart accused him bitterly, 'It happened because you weren't there, you didn't catch me, you didn't hold me, you didn't protect me! I fell because you let me fall down.'

She shook her head. "It's really nothing, Dev. Just a small cut."

Dev persisted, panicking now. "A cut? You cut yourself? But how? Was there blood?"

Her heart screamed, 'Yes there was blood and it was so bright and so red. It was scary, it was sticky and wet!'

She pushed his hand away, annoyed at both him and her own self. "Dev, I fell and got a little cut. Yes, there was a little blood and I have a band-aid on. Is this what you are concerned about right now? My mother is dead and she is in an urn on the living room table now. My mother, Dev! And you are insisting on talking about a little cut?"