Crusher. *.゜｡:+.゜｡* JJ Maybank.

Ⅸ. Where to go When you can't go Home.

CHAPTER NINE
Ⅸ. Where to go When you can't go Home.

After the night we all had, everyone went home, when we agreed to lay low, that's not what I had in mind.

I sneak through my bedroom window and instead of collapsing onto a air mattress, I collapse onto a regular bed, turns out after agatha, all the kooks decided to sell their mattresses for fairly cheap, So to whoever this memory foam mattress this used to belong to, thank you.

Before I pass-out I take a long over due shower and get into my pajamas, but as I'm about to get into bed, I hear a sound at my window, and another.

I tear open my curtains to see what was going on, Only to see a blond head of hair at my window, immediately I open my window wide enough so he can come in, "JJ? what the hell are you doing here?" I ask him as he climbs into my room.

"Everyone is mad at me, so I can't stay at the chateau." He admits, as he takes a seat at the window nook, "Well why did you come here and not home?" I ask which I wish I didn't because the look he game me said It all.

"Oh, Do you want to talk about it?" I ask the blond boy who has only ever said nasty things to me "No." He answers. "Okay." I reply, I wasn't about to push it out of him.

My room was dark but not dark enough that I couldn't see him, The bright moonlight spilling into my room allowed me to see the expression on his face, Tired and Hopeless.

"Georgia." JJ muttered after moments of silence.  "Hmm?" I hum curiously, "That's where you're from. Kiara told me." He stated.

JJ's gaze was fixed on me. The moonlight behind him cast a shadow upon him causing his features to fade into the dark.

"Yep. Born and raised" I bite, not wanting to continue talking about my past in Georgia, I think he picked up on that as he quickly changed the subject.

"Heard you jumped Sarah Cameron." He spoke after awhile of silence, still seated on the window seat, now I was sat on my bed "Yeah, well she started it" I told him while I look down at my swollen knuckles, The blond boy just huffed out a laugh before the room fell quiet again.

The window was still wide open, allowing the cold crisp air of the night to flow into my bed room, I watch as the soft wind blew through JJ's hair, how the moon casted a shadow on his face, and the crickets were loud yet peaceful.

Despite being sat by the boy who previously held someone at gun point at the boneyard, I still felt safe sitting next to him in the dark.

The two of us simply sat in silence, refusing to look at one another.

I took the lighter that I had borrowed from him out of my back pocket, I felt the engraved letters of his name on the cold metal before holding it out to him, "I forgot to give this back, Thank you for letting me use it." I told him, but he didn't take the lighter, "Keep it." He said, I'd be lying if I said this whole thing with JJ being in my bedroom wasn't the most awkward thing ever.

After retrieving a box of cheap cigarettes from my bedside table, I sit next to JJ at the window nook and use my new lighter, "I've known you for less than a week and you've been smoking everytime I look at you." He exaggerated as he watches me take a long drag of the cigarette, "I heard you're high key a stoner so you aren't one to talk" I reply with a smile and offer the cigarette to him but surprisingly he shakes his head so I continue with it myself.

"Were you really going to shoot Topper?" I ask him curiously, I wanted to know If he was just talk. "I'm not a murderer." he bluntly said and after a moment of awkward silence he spoke again "But, if it came down to it, he's lucky he let JB go." and even after JJ confirmed that he would kill for his best friend, I still felt more safe than I have ever felt with any other boy.

"JJ, why are you here? I mean I get why you aren't at home or the chateau, but why are you here?" I ask softly as he inhales the drug, "I can leave if you want." He said genuinely, obviously not wanting to intrude, "No, no that's not what I mean." I tell him.

"I mean why are you here at my house?" I repeat, accentuating my words, he takes in my question and thinks of an answer "I don't know." he replied.

"I could have gone to Kie's or Pope's or the chateau even, they might be mad at me but they would never shun me out, I guess I chose to come here on my own." he admits.

I have no clue what to say to that, so I say nothing.

"I'm sorry, Violet, I know I haven't made is easy on you." He apologises, but refuses to make eye contact with me.

"Thank you JJ, I'm sorry if I did something that upset you in the first place." I replied, "You didn't, I was just scared the others would like you too much and forget about me." he tells me, im not sure why he is admitting this all to me, but I soak in all the information like a sponge.

I press the burnt cigarette into the red ashtray on my window sill.

"it's hard to pretend that I hate you" he says softly, almost in a whisper like someone could be listening, his words cause a weird churning feeling to erupt in my stomach, fuck. My cheeks begin to burn with scarlet red, thank goodness for the lack of light.

"Then stop." I tell him and he simply breathes out his vape and looks out into the night sky. a/

"I- um, I'll get you some blankets" I say and rush out of my bedroom leaving JJ, I catch a long breath that was more shaky than anticipated.

Once I grab a few blankets and pillows I bring them to my room, when I open my door JJ is still there, even after I rub my eyes, I'm not dreaming, JJ looks at me, sure he's done that before but never like this, this time he doesn't just look at me, he sees me.

I set up a small spot on the floor for JJ to sleep for the night and I climb into bed, the two of us lay in complete silence in the dark, waiting for either someone to talk or to fall asleep.

I toss and I turn trying to get to sleep, the irritation of not being able to get to sleep is a whole different rage, insomnia is a bitch and it's been taunting me for years.

JJ must have heard me moving around in the bed because he was the one that broke the silence between us, "Vi?" He called from the floor, I acknowledge him with a hum, "You good?" he asks., "Yep." reply with not hesitation, worried that if I don't answer immediately he will think somethings wrong.

"Alright, goodnight." he said and the silence washed over us once again. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling listening to all the thoughts in my head, "Actually, no I'm not okay." I say, sitting up in the bed.

After listening to my words JJ sits up from under the blankets on the floor and looks at me through the darkness, "what's up?" he questioned.

I knew what I wanted to ask but I didn't know how or what he would say.

"Could you come here, I, um feel bad for making you sleep on the floor," I twist the truth, obviously I feel bad for making him sleep on the hard wood floor but that's not the whole reason I want him to come here.

"I'm fine with sleeping on the floor, don't worry about it" he dismisses, and we both just stare at each other through the dark using the light of the moon flooding through my open window to see each other.

"JJ." I breath, "Please, I can't sleep," I finally admit out loud to us both, I cringe at how desperate I sound but nothing has worked, No comfortable bed or blanket, no lavender pillow spray, no melatonin or pill has gotten me to sleep in what feels like years, JJ is my last hope.

He knits his eyebrows together, the way he looks at me makes his eyes sparkle, the boy manages to keep eye contact with me as he climbs into my bed and under the covers.

There was enough space between us that you could fit a third person, but It didn't matter, I actually got to sleep that night and I slept a full 8 hours.

Authors note.
I HATE this chapter so much it makes me want to pull my hair out wtffff sorry it took me so long i started a new job and with school and shit #stressfull