As Close As Strangers

Fifteen

Luke

"Michael, you have to stop this!" I shouted.

"Yeah mate, you're becoming obsessive." Ashton sighed.

"But you didn't see her the other day. She looked... Different. Something was wrong and I need to know what! Luke, can't you talk to her! Ask her to get coffee. Please Luke!" He begged.

"Absolutely not!" I protested.

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"One large coffee please." I ordered.

Yes, Michael wore me down. I called her and she agreed with only a little convincing. I grabbed the warm cup and sat down at a table with her in the corner. She kept her eyes glued to her cup and when she finally looked up, I noticed something.

Something about her eyes was different. Almost like the light was gone. The sparkle was replaced with darkness.

"So, um, how are you?" I asked awkwardly.

She took a few seconds to realize that I was talking to her and another few to formulate a convincing, "I'm fine." But I knew she wasn't. She was far from it.

"I don't understand why you have to lie and expect me not to know." I laughed.

"What?"

"Ella, I've known you for a long time. I know when something isn't right." I said.

"Oh." She sighed.

"So come on. Tell me what's on your mind." I pleaded.

"I don't know if I should tell you. I mean, the last time I trusted you..." She trailed off.

"I shouldn't have had you on speaker that time. I said I was sorry about that." I said.

"Actually, you said sorry because your loyalty was with Michael. Even though, I was the one there for you when he used to treat you awful." She said.

"I guess you're right."

"Yeah." She mumbled.

"Ella, whether or not you want to tell me, I know. I know you miss him." I blurted out.

Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned red. I was so afraid to be blunt with her. She seemed so much more fragile now. Like something inside of her shattered.

"I do." She whispered.

"Huh?"

"I do miss him. I've missed him since you all left. Luke, he broke up with me over a video chat and then said I didn't matter. That we never mattered." She said.

"But he told you that he was lying." I argued.

"He still said it. Luke, my parents are constantly telling me how much of a disappointment I am. Hearing it from him made it real. I finally understood that I am nothing. I mean nothing and I'm not worth it. I fail at everything I do." She said in a shaky voice. She sounded like she was trying not to cry.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." I said.

I knew that this was all too much for her. I decided to continue our conversation on a walk back to her house.

"You don't fail at everything, Ella." I said.

"If you only knew." She said.

"Knew what?" I asked.

"Nevermind."

"No, tell me. Come on. You can tell me anything." I smiled.

She was crying now. She wanted to tell me what was on her mind. She just didn't know how. I pulled her close to me as we sat down on a bench.

"Hey, Ells, it's okay. You don't have to say it. I'm not here to make you cry. It's okay." I assured her.

I couldn't make out all of what she was saying, only certain words.

"Haven't cried since... Broke up with me... Was just so sad... I didn't know... Too many." She sobbed.

"Sh, sh. Take your time. Breathe." I said.

"I was just so sad. I d-didn't know what I was doing. I t-took so many." She cried.

Then it hit me. I knew what she was trying to tell me. She tried to kill herself. I didn't know what to say, so instead, I held her.