As Close As Strangers

Four

"Fuck!" I yelled as I slammed my laptop shut.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" I screamed.

I was kicking and screaming, so mature. I was angry and upset and tired of everything. And now apparently I was crying. Fuck. I was crying.

"Michael." Luke said as he knocked.

"Don't Luke." I said.

"You don't want me to come in?" He asked.

"No." I said.

"Wait, are you crying?" He asked.

I didn't answer. I wasn't weak. This wasn't me. But Ella is my weakness. My one and only weakness. I sat against the wall and closed my eyes. Just breathe Michael. You know what happens when you get worked up.

I didn't want them to worry about me. So I was gonna power through this without medicine.

"Um, no. Why would I be crying?" I fake laughed.

"Please let me in or come out. Ash and Calum went out to get food. It's only me and you right now buddy." He said.

"Fine." I said.

I got up and opened the door to a very concerned Luke. He pulled me into a hug and of course that made me cry harder.

"You're so soft Hemmings." I sobbed.

"You're okay. It's okay." He cooed.

"I fucked up." I said through my tears.

"Ella?" He asked.

I shook my head in response.

"How bad?" He asked.

"Very." I said.

And I didn't know if I could fix it this time.