King of Hearts (A Steve Rogers x Reader Fic)

Chapter Sixteen

Morning rolled around and the three on the balcony reentered the rooms, noticing everyone was awake and eyeing them suspiciously.

"What were you guys doing out there?" Natasha said, zeroing in on YN.

"What? Nothing." YN said, shrugging. "Couldn't sleep."

"Are you okay?" Sam asked from where he was bending over to look in the old mini fridge. He stood up to meet YN's smile, but instead found her staring at him, jaw tightening painfully. Steve noticed the look, biting his lip anxiously. "What?" Sam asked, flicking his brown irises between YN's blank eyes.

"Why do you always ask that?" YN asked bluntly, crossing her arms indifferently.

"Because I worry about you? Isn't that my job?" Sam chuckled, shaking his head. YN shook her head, looking down to her feet. "Okay, what happened? Why are you so grumpy this morning?" YN licked her lips, closing her eyes to try and calm down. Anger was bubbling in her chest, her dream replaying behind her lids the more she tried to focus on something else. "YN, what's wrong?"

"Sam. Stop asking me that!" YN exclaimed, biting her tongue from saying anything else.

"What-" YN shook her head, walking past Sam with a huff.

"I need some air." She shut the door behind her, letting out a shaky breath. "Breathe." YN whispered to herself, trying to steady her movements. Walking a few steps up the hall, she leant against the wall, trying to regulate her breathing. "In and out." She coached herself, sliding down the wall to wrap her arms around her legs.

"YN?" The voice startled YN into looking up, her eyes boring into bright blues, a heavy contrast between his thick brown hair.

"Bucky." YN greeted, lowering her head back down. "Can I not have a minute to myself?"

"I think you owe Sam an apology." YN laughed, shaking her head.

"He needs to back off, he isn't my father and he definitely isn't my brother." Bucky took an inhale of breath at the words, knowing it would break Sam to hear them.

"You don't mean that, YN. What's going on? Is this about what we spoke about in therapy?" YN nodded, biting on her lip to try and suppress a cry.

"I can't help it... I just get so angry and all I find myself doing is pushing him away, trying to make him feel the pain I feel. I just want to hurt him the way my brain is convinced he hurt me. I can't seem to release this... inner rage any other way." Bucky nodded, sliding down the wall opposite her.

"You know what I think you should do?" YN looked up to the brunette super soldier, cocking her head inquisitively. "Talk to Sam." YN's bottom lip trembled, her head shaking. "YN, he's not going to hate you. It'll upset him, of course, but I think he'd rather know and work on it then be worried you're going to bite his head off every five minutes."

"You know I'm meant to be your therapist, right?" YN chuckled, the sound thick with emotion.

"It's just food for thought." YN nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Do you want me to send him out? He's pretty confused and distressed." Relenting, YN nodded again, straightening her back but staying seated on the cement.

A few minutes later, Sam walked into view, not getting too close. "Bucky said you wanted to talk?" YN nodded, not looking up to meet Sam's gaze in case the look made her angry again.

"If I talk, will you listen?" She whispered, voice cracking and making Sam swallow past a lump. Nodding, Sam sat down a few feet down the hall, leaning against the wall opposite. "Um, God this is hard." YN choked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "I love you, I do. And I'm sorry I'm an unstable mess. I just-" YN coughed, wincing as she tried to find the right words.