late-night snack run

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i'm lying on my bed, with my hood on and LEDs on blue, scrolling on my phone. i lay back, locking my phone, wondering why i was born into such a crappy family. the high standards of perfectionism and opinions of how i could do better flooding my mind. i close my eyes and feel a few tears slip down my face. 

vinnie <3

come outside loser

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i smile to myself and sit up, wiping my eyes and grabbing my lanyard, and slip-on vans. i climb out of my window and onto the corner of the roof that i call my sanctuary. it's where i come to lay on my back and stare up at the stars, an escape from my house without having to go anywhere. i climb down the trellis on the side of my house and meet vinnie by his bike. he's standing, holding his helmet to his side and smiling at me. he's in his black riding jacket and a pair of baggy jeans. he looks good, per usual. i smile and walk over to him, taking big steps. we're standing face to face and i look up at him. 

"how's the night going?"

i sigh and reply, "the usual amount of crappy."

he frowns and steps so our faces are only a few inches apart.

"i'm sorry, love." i smile small and give him a quick peck on the lips. 

he smiles down at me and pulls me back in, wrapping his arm around my waist. 

"y/n, stop teasing."

i laugh and respond, "i'm not teasing. i really do appreciate you."

he laughs and hands me a helmet. "c'mon. we're going to our spot." 

i smile and put on my helmet at the same time as vinnie, sitting behind him on his motorcycle.

"ready?" he asks, turning his body halfway to look at me. i nod once and he revs the clutch before letting it go. 

as he speeds down the parkway, my grip around his waist tightens.

---

sitting at the end of the pier, feet dangling over the end, vinnie and i are eating our snacks, just looking out over the pier and up at the sky. i eat another doughnut and vinnie keeps munching on some milk duds. i breathe out and look at the sky. i feel my eyes well up in an overwhelming sense of frustration.

"i do the best i can. i give my all and she tells me to do better. she tells me it's not enough and i'm selling myself short. vin, i don't know if i can do this anymore."

he brings his hand up to my cheek and turns my face toward him. the tears are freely flowing down my face and he wipes them away.

"what can't you do, y/n? tell me. i'm right here."

"i can't keep putting my all in to come face to face with disappointment. it makes me feel like i'm not enough. i know i'm doing my best."

he nods and replies, "you don't need to listen to her. if she's talking at you, just pretend i'm right there next to you, holding your hand."

i smile small and he presses his forehead to mine. 

"do you wanna run away?" 

i close my eyes feeling more tears fall and i sigh, "i would love to but i know you would miss your family too much. i can't ask you to do that for me."

he nudges my nose with his and says, "i care about you a lot, y/n. and i love you."

i smile and reply, "i love you too vin."

before i can say anything else, he leans forward, smashing his lips into mine. i wrap my arms around his neck, hands tangling in his curls, pulling him closer.

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