GHOST CABIN ☆ EARTHMIX AU

Part twenty-six: lonely wolf

"Love cures people — both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."

- Karl A. Menninger

"I love you."

Mix could swear he had never seen something more beautiful than Earth at that moment. The way Earth's whole face turned vibrant, glowing, as he heard those three words coming out from Mix's lips. The smile, so captivating, so intimately gorgeous, something that was shared only between them, something that was there because of Mix.

"You...love me?" Earth's voice was higher than usual. A tiny crack at the end of his words, there to add a beautiful flaw to a perfect moment.

"You are supposed to say it back," Mix said, half laughing, half pouting.

Earth's eyes got wide with realization, "yes! I mean...I love you."

They were both laughing — in their own small, perfect moment, unable to look away from each other. They said I love you once but their eyes were saying it a hundred more times for them.

"I love you," Earth repeated, now softer, quieter, more serious. Giving respect and importance to those words, which they deserve. Which Mix deserve.

His hope loved him.

Mix stopped laughing, his lips curved into a small, almost invisible smile. He realized that suddenly Earth seemed different. Not in a bad way or anything. But, somehow after they both said those three magical words it just felt as if...as if they belong to each other. As if there was an invisible string that held them together all the time so they could never be apart. And Mix wouldn't exchange it for anything.

"I can't believe we said it...it's, it's happening," Mix whispered, with a tiny awestruck smile on his face.

"I can't believe we both feel it," Earth said, biting his lips.

A crazy thought suddenly entered Mix's mind, "I do love you. You do believe me, right?"

"Of course, of course, angel. I have no doubt in my mind. You love me and I love you," Earth smiled brightly, the happiness was all over him. "But if you are not tired I want to tell you about my past and why you loving me, means so much to me. It's not only about having a chance to be alive again."

Mix furrowed his eyebrows, "am I going to cry?"

"Oh God, I hope not."

"Okay, but let's go to my room. My ass hurts from those stairs," Mix chuckled, standing up.

.....

"I can't believe someone could ever cheat on you," Mix said, wrapping himself even more in the blanket, so only his head was peaking out.

Earth was laying next to Mix, head in the air supported by his hand — he was telling his boring life story to the only person who actually seemed to be genuinely interested in what Earth had to say. The only person besides Praewa but she wasn't there to listen anymore.

"I would like to have a friendly talk with that ex of yours. You know, ask him how he is doing." Mix's face looked angry, but it was all so comical to Earth. His previous boyfriend cheated on him but it happened so long ago that it felt only like a bad dream he once had in his early twenties.

"Good luck with finding him. If he is even still alive," Earth said, corners of his lips fighting the urge to not break out into a full cheeky smile.

"He better be...I wanna punch him."

"Didn't you say you just want to have a friendly talk?" At that point, corners of Earth's lips gave up and let the smile fully bloom.

"Well, I want to have a friendly talk and I want to punch him," Mix broke out into a smile too.

"Good thing that I am long past that heartbreak. I felt pretty crappy after that whole mess. I was at that point in my life where I was telling myself that I won't date ever again. I didn't need anyone in my life, anyway. Living the life of a lonely wolf suited me just right. A few months later I started my work as a journalist and I don't even know how, but years went by. And then when I was twenty-five, one of my close friends announced that he is getting married. Do you know where is the best place to realize how fucking alone you are? Wedding," Earth laughed, but there was a hint of pain behind it that Mix could hear way too clearly.

"Wedding has this right atmosphere for it, you know?" Earth continued. "Everyone is there with their significant other or whatever. And you see them dancing, kissing, hugging, laughing...while you are there alone, trying your best to as politely as possible decline any attempts of girls to flirt with you. I couldn't just say, 'hey I'm gay so stop wasting your time.' Or I suppose I could but I wonder how would that go in the early 1960s."

"You wonder how that would go while I wonder how literally anything went in the 1960s," Mix said, his eyes narrowed, imagination running wild.

"That's a valid point," Earth chuckled. "So, basically, after the wedding it finally dawned on me that I am literally always alone. My family moved to the U.S. shortly after I turned eighteen. With that, any kind of family support went out of the window. Almost all of my friends — which wasn't many, to begin with, had someone. And those who haven't, been busy with their jobs."

Earth shuffled in bed, now laying on his back, starring on the wall, "but it wasn't so much that type of loneliness. It was more that empty feeling when I came home after long and most of the time tiring day of work, and there was no one there waiting for me. And after that wedding suddenly each night alone started sting more and more. I didn't wish for much. All I wanted was someone to hold me, someone to listen to how my day went, smile and cry with me, someone to love me. But as another few years passed I thought that maybe I wished for too much."

"No, you didn't. You deserve to be loved. Everyone does," Mix was now the one laying on his side, supporting his head with his hand.

"I know. But I realized that when it was too late already." Earth closed his eyes for a moment, "you would be surprised how hard it is to find love when you are dead."

There was a comfortable silence between them for a minute or two until Mix asked, "Earth, was there someone else before me? I mean...did my grandmother find someone before?"

To be continued...

P.S. Only a few more chapters and something you all gonna like will happen 👀