The mirror behind me

Chapter 7

Years have gone by. Him and I are still great friends. Together we go find ourselves in some unpredictable situations. Because of our bond, we worked thru it all. There would be times when we both had a little too much to drink, things would get physical. I was arrested for threatening him, and he for threatening me. Again we got past it all. Mainly because we were the only ones each other had. In our specific world.

He was known as Papal to my grandchildren. My  youngest son is now a father, he was blessed with a baby girl, they named her Emily. Although I was still in my addiction, I made a point to be in their lives, and support them any way I could.

My daughter has graduated and we have moved from Oak Hill. I was spending less time in the streets. But it only took one time, to be caught by the police and arrested. I made myself quite comfortable while being locked up. it wasn't hard considering half the people there, I knew. I didn't like being in crowds, so I requested a Bible. I stayed in my cell, reading the Bible, from the beginning. It gave me the strength to survive. I no longer felt locked up. And with that freedom of the mind, I was able to pursue my Talent, such as drawing, making others smile, or laugh.

I didn't like the idea of being on paper, knowing I wasn't going to mind. Why waste everybody time. I preferred to just do my time. I've never been locked up, no longer than a period of three months. Sitting in jail had allowed me to look at life being sober. Missing my family, and just being in their lives, was what mattered.

After being released from jail. I became ill, with Chronic Bronchitis, I knew it was from all the smoking I had done in the past. As it worsen, I felt the need to file for disability. I was denied, several times. After four years, I was approved.

My daughter,the children, and I or now, living in North Austin. She has given birth to another baby girl. A very jazzy little girl.

My son is the proud father of a baby girl and boy, they are twins. And he also had a daughter before that, their sister,All by the same mother. His first daughter was from another mother.

I am now the proud grandmother of nine grandchildren. I only wished my husband was here to be in their lives as well. I know he would have been proud.

As I look back at this time, of my life. I have lost several close friends. My friend has passed on. I also discovered another friend of mine who had passed away, we called him Pug. I went to visit him often. he was severely disabled. Unable to walk. I walked into his place one evening. Two of my other friends resided there. But at that moment when I walked in no one was there with him. So I sit down on the bed beside him and attempt to wake him. Only he didn't respond. I then shrugged him on his shoulder, he still didn't wake up. I thought this is strange. That's when I realized he had passed on. He had always treated me special.

Not long after he passed on, across the street, from his apartments. I had a good friend, He was an ex-Police officer, with a son ,Whom he was raising as a single parent. He too was crazy about me. He even became a close friend,Only he passed away, shortly after they had gotten acquainted.

I made it a point, to introduce my closest friend to all my friends because he worried about me being in the streets. I had a friend named also. would make your day, anytime you saw him.

My closest friend and I were sitting in the back of his place, under a tree, when he drove up one day and went to tell us about the night before. He had been coming toward Austin when he heard a loud distracting noise. He pulled his car over quickly and stopped. Because he was going down a slope, When he stepped out of his car, he said something past him. What was it,? I asked him. It was my tire, he said. It at fallen off. The way he said it was so funny. He then went and got his tire and put it back on. How did that happen, I asked him. He swore it was the children of his girlfriends. Every time I take her and her children out and drop them off at home, I notice a piece of my car is missing, I swear they carry tools, Moe said. Ben and I laughed all that day. He too has passed on. I really miss him.

I also had a girlfriend who was a very close friend and has passed on as well. I think about the times when my life was threatened. I had to use common sense to avoid it. Being in the streets, you're subject to run into all types of dangerous situations. I give thanks to God for watching over me. Not all people are bad. Like myself, some do have principles and morals.

As I saw some conquer their addictions. I would often as the Lord, when will it be my time?

As the years went by,  still in my addiction. But I had a lot more responsibilities than others among me. I met a man Who became to be closer to me than I had imagined. Over the years we became quite close. He helped me out a lot. Monica had given birth to another baby girl, A year later she gave birth to a son.  I felt obligated to be there for those babies. My daughter is now a single mother of five. I watched her provide for them all single-handed. I admired her and wanted to be there for her and the children. We had disagreements about some things. But nothing that would tear us apart.

After her son was born, I had moved to with her and the children, to tend to the baby boy. My friend and I had a fallout prior to that, and I had moved to the Salvation Army for a short period. I knew Monica was a working mother, so I left the Salvation Army to attend to the baby.

I was then driving from San Marcus to Austin, periodically. I didn't enjoy this at all. I was happy when my daughter decided to move. Only we didn't move back to Austin. We moved to Killeen Texas.

After a year, I decided to get my own place there. the rent was a lot cheaper there in Killeen. My two oldest granddaughters decided they wanted to move in with me. Her oldest child is about to graduate. I went through some changes getting settled, in my new place. Considering I had gotten it with my two sons, which didn't work out too well, from the jump, because of an uninvited individual, but I handled that situation, and was finally there, alone, with my two grandchildren .

My friend and I had begun to spend the weekends together, quite often,  I enjoyed these trips with him. He loved to fish. He had a small tank on his property and quite a bit of land of three hundred acres. We would often walk it and observe the wildlife. Mainly we would go to the dam or on other private properties, with the owner's permission to fish. I specifically remember, one Christmas Eve. James taught me to fish with lures. I caught so many bass fish, that day, he accused me of showing him off. we laughed about it. But it was different, than just hanging out in the hood. Exactly what I needed.

This went on quite a while. My friend and I were still acquainted. He calls me every day, all day. I would ride to Austin to see him, letting him know I was alright. When I saw him he wasn't looking too well. He had a birthday coming up that year. He asked me to get a cake and some red punch and pick him up in Austin, on his birthday. And he would come back to Killeen with me, to my place to celebrate with the babies. So I did just that.

I then thought about the last birthday of his we celebrated. We were in Austin then. I barbecued with all the trimmings, even bought a large bottle of liquor. As we sit outside, Him and I. I notice no one was appearing. Who did you invite? Where are your friends, you did tell them about your birthday party, I asked. him who did he invite? He was a strange little man. He looked at me, and said, I don't have any friends. Oh my God, I said. You mean I cooked all this food, and a cake, and you didn't invite anyone.

So For him to ask for a party was strange. The next day I took him back to Austin. A few weeks later Ben's daughter Belinda called and said he was in the hospital. I knew of his heart condition, but then she said they found cancer in his jaw. He went thru the surgery of getting his jaw bone removed. I felt bad I wasn't able to be there with him, because of car trouble. A week later he pass away. This didn't sit well with me. I was really reliving the loss of someone so close and dear to me. I had to be strong, for the babies. They too lost the only man that they looked at as their Papa(Grandfather)Shortly after my friend and I went our separate ways as well. Which actually didn't bother me at all. My closest
was family. I felt so alone at this point.