HIS AT HEART

Part 32

___ VANGAMA ___

"Wake up sleepy head" Nathaniel woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes and he was sitting on the bed with a glass of water and a medicine brown bag that I guess had pills, maybe it's pain medication.

"Are those brufens?" I asked.
"Nope, do you have a headache?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Are you on any contraceptives?" He questioned.
"Nope" I answered him and quickly remembered we didn't use protection yesterday and he didn't even pull out, damn I'm screwed.
"You want a baby?" He raised his eyebrow.
"What? Nope, not now, it just didn't cross my mind because I'm not used to this." I rambled
"I drove to the complex when you were sleeping and bought morning after pills, you can drink them if you want." He suggested which was strange for me because I assumed a guy would tell you to take the pills and not the option of 'just incase you want the pills'.
"Please give me" I requested and he gave me the tablets and water. I drank them.

"Let's go to the kitchen, I want to start with dinner" he suggested and I got dressed and we went to the kitchen.
"What are we cooking" I asked washing my hands.
"Grilled pork, chakalaka and pap. Dad's favorite" he answers.

He hands me the veggies to chop and he starts with washing the pork while water for the pap is on the stove. My phone then rings and it's my dad.

Me: "Papa"
Dad: "My sweetheart, how are you"
Me: "I'm good and you?"
Dad: "I'm good, are you at your new place"
Me: *staring at Nathaniel* "No, I haven't moved in yet they said they want to fix some things first, I am still at my friend's place"
Dad: "alright, uhmm can you be able to come home tomorrow?"
Me: "come home for what papa, I've just left 2 days ago"
Dad: "It's about your mother, she's in hospotal"
Me: "What? I spoke to mama this morning and she was fine, what happened?"
Dad: "I'm talking about your biological mother"
Me: "I don't care, you expect me to come back home for her? Never!"
I hung up, and my chest was now rising and falling rapidly, my breathing was loud.

I felt hands turn me and Nathaniel hugged me tightly.
"Shhhhh!" He comforted while massaging my back. The tears just fell. My phone started ringing again but I didn't pay any attention to it. I was fuming. How can dad even be the one to try to bring that woman back into my life? To me she is dead.

"I need to lay down" I said trying to get off Nathaniel's hold.
"Let's go" he held me by my waist and we silently went to his room. I took off my shoes and got in bed, he covered me with a throw, kissed me on the forehead and went back to the kitchen.

Sleep didn't come as easily as I hoped mainly because I had just woken up less than an hour ago. I had also left my phone in the kitchen.

Nathan entered the room again and gave me my phone.
"You left it on the kitchen counter and it has been ringing. Wanna talk about it?"
I shook my head and he left again.

I had an sms from dad and 3 missed calls.
"Sorry for making you angry baby, I just assumed you'd want to go see her since Nhlamulo has already went. I don't want you to have any regrets about how you could have handled things differently. The doctors say her chances of recovery are slim so I suggest you come back to see her for your own closure. Love: dad"
I dialed his number

Dad: "baby"
Me: "what's wrong with her?"
Dad: "kidney failure and other complications"
Me: "okay, give me time to think about it. What does mama think of all this?"
Dad: "she's the one who suggested I call you and tell you to come back."
Me: "okay, bye dad"
Dad: "bye baby"
I hung up again.

Do I wanna go or not? Do I want closure? Closure from what? She decided to leave and I have delt with it. Does it matter whether she dies or not? She didn't want us for all these years so what has changed? Am I supposed to feel sorry for her?

If I do go, I'll look her in the eye and maybe she will see the torture she put us through for years. She is not my mother, she doesn't deserve the title. She is just a woman whose womb God decided to use to bring me to this earth.

I decided to continue reading the Pride and Prejudice book just to get my mind off things. I was so immersed in it that I didn't realize time had flew by so quickly. It had been close to 2 hours since I came to the room.

"Room service" Nathaniel announced as he entered with a tray of food.
"Next thing you'll be gushing over Mr Darcy" he puts the food on the side table.
"Hell no, I don't like him. He called Elizabeth ugly" I complain
"Trust me baby, you'll change your mind" he laughs.
"Never!"
"Dad and I ate in the dining area so I decided to bring your food to you"
"Thanks love"
"Dad is leaving early tomorrow. He said I should tell you that... let me try his voice 'if I act like a boy who doesn't know he's a man and doesn't know he has found a queen you should call him and he will punch my senses back'" he laughed
"Your dad though. You see why I like him?"
"Eat wena" he pointed to the food and I started eating.

When I finished eating Nathaniel took the tray to the kitchen and then when he came back he just got in bed with me, held me from behind and we slept.

...

It's been a week since dad told me about my mother's illness, Nhlamulo also kept calling to convince me to return. My stepmom just said she'll support me no matter what my decision was. Nathaniel always went to work in the morning and came back around 2pm. He kept contact throughout the day. We haven't had sex again which I assume it's him giving me space since I'm not really in a good state of mind. We do however kiss and cuddle. And he is still the chef, I have never cooked. It is either he cooks or we order food.

"Nathan, can I join you in the gym?" I requested.
"Yeah sure" he shrugged
"Do you have gym clothes or we should go to the complex?"
"I have some shorts and sports bras" I told him.
"Babe, do you want to exercise or you want to distract your man?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look neh, I don't think I can fully concentrate on training with your sexy thighs and waistline in the open. Plus your shorts that I've seen leave your buttcheeks out when you bend" he ranted
"Okay then, we'll go to the complex. But you should also wear a t-shirt."
"Why? Scared you'll like what you see?" He teased slowly taking off his t-shirt.
"Nathan stop" I tried saying but it came out as a whisper.

"Why should I stop?" He stepped closer to me.
"Because"
"Because?" He held my neck from the back.
"Nathan" I called him
He smashed his lips on mine and started kissing me hungrily. I kissed him back and I was soon ontop of the kitchen counter, my legs spread with Nathaniel rubbing my inner thighs.
My hands roamed his bare back.

"F*ck" Nathaniel cursed shifting from me a little.
I was now a panting mess.
"I miss you" he whispers while moving his hands through his hair.
I wrap my hands around his neck and rest my head on his neck taking in his scent to calm me down. He responds by holding me tighter.

We were disturbed by the door ringing. Nathaniel went to open it. I heard him talk to the person or people because I heard multiple voices. The voices kept getting closer.

I looked at the people Nathan entered with and it was Steve, Gift and Amu.
Awkward...