HIS AT HEART

Part 40

^^^ NATHANIEL ^^^

Vangama finally spoke to her father in the morning and now she is preping to go back to see her mom. I'll be going with her since her parents and sister have went back home.

...

"You want me to go in with you or you want privacy?"

"Please come with me"

I held her hand and we entered the ward. I squeezed her hand and she let out a breath she had been holding.

We approached the bed of a lady who even in her sickly state still resembled Vangama.

"Masesi" the lady whispered as we stood by her bedside.

"How are you?" Vangama finally spoke.

"I'm happy that you're here."

"Uhm, sorry for leaving like that last time. I brought you some food stuff" Vangama apologized and placed the plastic with the food on the side table.

"No no no, you have every right to be angry with me. I was selfish and stupid and I hurt you, your father and your sister. Is he your friend?"
She asked looking at me

"Yes"

"My stupidity has made me miss out on such a lot... both my girls have now grown. I messed up"

Vangama tightened her grip on my hand. I looked at her and she had tears streaming down her face. I took out a handkerchief and gave it to her, I didn't wipe her tears myself because I wasn't sure how appropriate her mother would think it was.

"Why... why did you do it?"

"There's no reasonable excuse..."

"Just tell me, did you hate us that much?"
I could tell from how her words were said that Vangama was trying to not shout.

"I was just young and stupid. I thought being wanted by a doctor meant I had made it in life... but I was wrong"

"So it's way over 15 years where you notice you were wrong? Huh?"

"No, I noticed a year in. But because I was stupid I just stayed hoping things with the doctor would get better. I'm sorry baby"

Vangama chuckled and then sighed.

"It's your life, anyway thank you for giving birth to me."
She then looked up at me.
"Let's go" she commanded

"Are you sure" I glanced at her, then her mother and back to her.
She nodded.

"I'm sorry my baby, please forgive me... please."
The mother pleaded. My heart felt sorry for her but I have to respect Vangama's decision to leave.

We walked out and the moment we were outside the ward I pulled Vangama into my arms and she immediately started sobbing.
I massaged her back and after some time she calmed down.

"Am I wrong for not forgiving her? I want to do it but... I feel like she has to pay. She can't get off that easily"

"Let's go sit there" I pointed at a desk and we went and sat down.

"I won't tell you what to do right. But one thing I know is that as long as you're dead set on making her suffer you will also be suffering in return. Anger is a burden my love... I want to see you happy and free."

She was silent for a few minutes then looked at me.
"How many minutes left till visiting time ends?"

I checked my watch.
"Five"

She stood up.
"I'm coming"
She walked back inside the ward, I guess to speak with her mom.

...