forgive me. dotae ✔️

4

part 4.

the guilt was killing him. everytime those oh so familiar three words were uttered, along with a gentle and increasingly sad smile thrown his way, his heart cracked a little more. His entire being weighed down by seeing his love's mood changing because of his own seemingly down aura these past few days, and the original guilt from that fateful say at the club.

he felt his heart pang everytime at every worried glance, constantly tearing himself down, scolding himself for not being "good enough".

he had even started sleeping in a different bed, in his own bed that has been empty for the past two months as the couple bunked together every night. Something had definitely changed, and the leader's members have definitely noticed. His usually bright and shining eyes full of approachable warmth and joy, was now replaced by a dull black, like a night sky without a hint of a star, only the occasional silver of a tear.

-

Despite being desperately confused and worried, doyoung never stopped loving or caring for his beloved partner and leader that seemed so far away these days. Although he has gotten used to not constantly asking after taeyong, knowing he wouldnt get a response. He adapted to the fact that the leader would only be responsive to physical touch. Thus, he would constantly stick to his now constantly quiet lover, a huge change from taeyong's usual bubbly and loud personality. He would spend their free time just holding the leader, sometimes at night slipping into taeyong's bed seeing him having difficulty sleeping, and comfort him through hugs and soft forehead kisses.

After a couple of days in "separate" beds, the couple had gotten used to a routine of doyoung holding taeyong till he fell asleep. Despite the guilt that taeyong felt, he couldn't bring himself to push the warm comfort away at night, sometimes the pair just spending the night laying next to each other silently, once again wrapped up in each others' arms but with a new found comfort in the wordless forehead kisses from the younger to the older. As the days passed by, doyoung could only hope that the occasional silent night sky would prompt the leader into sharing.

He always stayed, despite the silence, allowing himself to become a form of comfort for the leader, deciding that they could always settle things later, wanting to be there for his lover first and foremost.

I have to be there for him no matter what

"taeyong-ah, I'll always be here for you no matter what, I love you" he whispers into the silent nights, smiling slightly when he feels the leader's arms tighten around him for a split second.

Taeyong was not only physically worn out from not sleeping and not eating as usual, but was also incredibly emotionally worn out, only allowing himself the odd hour or so, when wrapped up in his doyoung's arms to take a break from tormenting himself with his guilt. Despite being so guilty and angry at himself, he just couldn't pull away from the warmth and comfort that he felt being wrapped up with his lover in the silence of the night.

-

the week of sticker promotions passed by very quickly. However, it seemed like an absolute eternity to the leader. although he was practically inseperable with his lover, he missed him more and more everyday.

At this point, only doyoung could get the leader to eat anything, and every fibre of his being, hurt with nervous anticipation and dread for what the future holds for the pair.

By now, news of the taeyong's unusual change in behaviour and mood has spread like wildfire to the other units, all equally worried for beloved leader. However, like a cohesive unit, they've somehow managed to hide this from their managers and stylists during schedules such that they wouldnt make the situation worse if the management were to interfere, usually just blaming it on stress for their upcoming schedules.