Before Us | Dazai X Chuuya

Six • What Does It Mean To Be...

And well, none of this had to go so well either.

It's this awful mixture of things being so good, and things being so bad. There seriously is no in between when it comes to these two, is there? That's for them to figure out, and for others to wonder.

Chuuya, as a person—kind, loyal, a person that has high goals and almost always achieves them through strength. Dazai, on the other hand—manipulative, always gets what he wants and what he doesn't want without trying, never caring about other people too much, not getting too close.

Well—

Not getting close to anyone that isn't Chuuya.

And the fact that Chuuya was the one who did most of the work and Dazai got the title? Yeah, that's infuriating.

A long time ago, when Mori was alive, he would do these...things to Dazai. It was torture, really, and Dazai was a person that hated pain so Mori knew exactly what he was doing.

He knew what he was doing when he moved from a soundproof move to the room next to Chuuya, allowing him to hear his partner yell—not asking for help, not crying, but simply letting himself go.

So when Chuuya broke into the room, getting close to Mori, and slicing his throat—

The last thing he expected him to say was that Dazai was going to be the leader of the Port Mafia.

Why? It should've been him, shouldn't it have?

I've been nothing but loyal, he thinks. He's always shown courage and he's always followed the orders he was given. Yeah sure, he was a little more stubborn when he was younger, but it was nothing.

It should've been Chuuya.

So yeah, maybe he is a little upset.

It doesn't—

It doesn't mean anything.

Maybe he can get that title one day, he doesn't know where or when—but he just knows it'll happen one day, in one universe.

Chuuya, as a Mafia Boss?

God, he wishes it was him. He supposes that seeing his boyfriend in that position is equally as good, and maybe he shouldn't find himself so attracted to him when Dazai is threatening someone.

That's just for the two of them.

Cause honestly, who let Dazai look that hot when threatening someone? Chuuya might even argue that he looks hot even when just breathing—though he would never say that in front of face because Chuuya could never let Dazai know his thoughts on him that way.

Even if Dazai has some weird mind reading ability, almost.

So he now wonders, what else has Dazai found out?

Their relationship has always been...unbalanced, if you may say. Sometimes one of them was far too passionate for the other that it almost became frightening. Dazai, specifically, had moments like that more often. Because, Mori might have rubbed off on him a little. He only made Dazai's original habits worse.

Just a bit.

Just a bit—

And this one time, only a little after they had first gotten together, Dazai had said something that neither one of them wanted to hear.

No, it didn't have anything to do with the fact that Dazai wanted to die.

Dazai stares at the other boy in front of him coldly, his typical unreadable expression that he puts up when he doesn't want people to get close. To others, it seems more intimidating and a sign to back off, but in reality, it's almost like a protective shield that he puts up.

Chuuya has known him long enough to realize what that particular expression means.

"You're not human," the brown haired man says, voice monotone as he states something that's almost a fact.

Chuuya's face drops, and Dazai almost feels sorry. Almost feels the need to say that he didn't mean it and just walk up to his boyfriend and hug him—

Obviously, that isn't what happens.

Dazai sees the other's hand twitch by his side. Tempting to close the hand into a fist but isn't able to.

Chuuya exhales sharply, still staring back at the other.

"Neither are you, Dazai."

Dazai, however, doesn't let it transfer through his expression, his voice remains the same. "We're perfect for each other then, aren't we?"

"What the fuck—?"