Before Us | Dazai X Chuuya

Seven • ...Human

The real question, or the real ending rather, is—

Why does Dazai always get everything?

And that is arguable. Specifications as to what exactly he always gets. To Dazai, it's almost a curse, because everything he's always ever wanted eventually goes. Disappears. It slips past his fingers right when he can't grip onto it anymore.

Maybe he should've seen it coming when Chuuya decided to leave.

Amusing, it really is. Is leave the right word, though? Well, Dazai can't say much when he's pressed up against the wall in his office. The windows, down so that no one can see what is going on inside.

Except, nothing good is going on in there.

Chuuya, the reason why Dazai is up against the wall, holds a blade against the other's neck. Despite not showing any sort of facial expression, Dazai is stunned. "What are you doing?" he asks, hesitant and voice so painfully soft that Chuuya's regretting this all.

Chuuya puts his head down, staring down at both of their feet. "I don't know..." he admits, scoffing slightly. "Why—" He looks back up at Dazai, noticing how he wears less bandages now, noticing how any sort of pill is off of his desk now. Noticing these things just makes it harder because the progress that Dazai had made is going to end.

All because of Chuuya.

"—Why are you the Boss? Why are you always taking things from me?" he continues, voice threatening to break but he stays strong as he always does. "What are you talking about?" Dazai asks calmly, as if he doesn't have a blade to his neck. As if he doesn't know what Chuuya is planning to do because—

He's seen this coming for a while.

He chose to blindly ignore it because as much as he knew Chuuya was trying to manipulate him—

Dazai just couldn't stay away from him, he couldn't imagine life without him. Maybe it was all Chuuya's plan for Dazai to fall in love with him, it might've been the last thing he needed.

Honestly, when Dazai first started to notice what Chuuya was doing, he couldn't help but laugh. Chuuya wanted to manipulate Dazai of all people? The Demon Prodigy himself?

It's funny since he didn't exactly manipulate him in the way he thought, but since Dazai loved him, he didn't care what happened.

"I'm the one that killed Mori and I've been nothing but loyal. So why are you—?!" Chuuya yells, unintentionally dragging the blade deeper into Dazai's throat. The brunette hisses, immediately hating the stinging feeling that he hasn't felt in ages.

He chuckles, regardlessly, "I don't know why Mori chose me, Chuuya. I can't answer that question, but—" Dazai pauses to close his eyes, trying to ignore the pain. "—if you're going to do this...can you at least make it painless?"

Chuuya's eyes fill with hurt, but he doesn't make any move. "How are you not mad—?!"

"Because I love you, and as much as I saw this coming, I ignored it for that reason," Dazai replies, looking down so lovingly at Chuuya that it causes his heart to ache. "I love you," Chuuya says back, and he means it—

"Then why are you doing this?"

He doesn't have an answer for that. Chuuya simply knows that he's been craving this ever since he joined. So instead, he simply presses his lips against Dazai's, hoping for the best. It's soft like their first kiss, and needy like their first time. Dazai pulls back first, leaning his head back against the wall, "I knew I wouldn't get to hold you forever—it was expected—but I do wish it didn't have to end like this."

"Thank you for helping me, my love. I'll miss you, and—" Dazai's voice cracks when he sees tears falling down Chuuya's cheeks. "—I hope you get the life you wanted because you deserve it."

"Dazai..."

But Dazai cuts him off.

"Just...it's a lot to ask but, please don't replace me, Chuuya. Not in that way," Dazai hardly whispers, "it's toxic I know, but even if you promise me now and break it the second I'm dead, it'll be okay."

Chuuya shakes his head in response, head too heavy to even form words.

Dazai chuckles, "I guess you're helping me succeed in my dream too, huh? The prolonged death."

And when Dazai doesn't get anything in response after that, a tear rolls down his face as he whispers, "please just do it already."

That's exactly what Chuuya does.

It's stupid how he instantly breaks into sobbing cries. It's stupid how he holds Dazai's hand even with the knowledge that he's the one who sliced his throat. He doesn't know if he's regretting it, only time will tell.

So after years of running the Port Mafia and Chuuya being known as the man who had killed the Dazai Osamu, his boyfriend, he does regret it.

Because in the end, he did love him.