The Lost

42- Fear

Azure

I remained frozen for a few minutes as the person walked. Strangely, I almost felt calm... or just kind of disconnected from everything. Too numb with fear to think properly.

This didn't feel real, and it didn't feel as if it could be real. Because Lucius had been right there. Right there. A few steps away from us. And then he had vanished before I had so much as blinked. If he ever yelled out at Sam to stop, I hadn't heard him. Had he noticed we were gone? Surely yes... if I looked hard enough through the passing trees then I would see him weaving through their gaps, looking for us.
To think that he had disappeared from sight so quickly made this seem like one of those dreams where everything jumps around with no sense or logic. It had happened so quickly— that hope I had felt seemed to have sputtered out now, like a torch killed by the wind. For a moment there, by the tents, I had dared to believe that there was a chance at rescue. Truly I had imagined it, prayed for it, with every bone in my body. How could I not have? Lucius had looked at me with such promise to his glare, an unrelenting protectiveness. But now...

I watched the trees go past with unblinking eyes. Listened to the footsteps below.
Felt them.
Felt them throb through me in the same way you can feel little shudders in the ground when the hares come tearing around the forest in winter.
Even in my desensitised state, the only thing I could properly focus on was how I couldn't see Aspen anymore. But he was here with me, so close, probably terrified out of his mind... could he feel each thunderous footfall too? He would have no idea of where we were, not the slightest clue of where we were going, whether I was okay or not... to think of him crying inside of Sam's pocket was the only thing that gave me the strength I needed to speak.

"Lucius-" I just said the word aloud at first, like I was saying hello to somebody. Louder. There may have been no sign of him, but Lucius was our only hope now. If there was just a tiny chance that he would hear my calls then I at least had to try, didn't I? Calling for Mike would be useless— he had too strong a friendship with this awful human. The only other option was to accept the capture... so I pulled myself together with great effort and tried to summon a stronger voice.
"Lucius!" I screamed out, as loud as I could manage. The sound was lost to the vastness of the forest. No echo, and no reply. Just the silence of the trees. And the footsteps.
Like a mad person I cried for him, "Lucius- Lucius help! Lucius! Luuucius!" He had to hear it! Each cry set a fire inside my sore ribs and yet still I kept crying out. If Lucius didn't stop Sam...
Not daring to look at my captor, I tried another yell for our human friend, but something pressed over my mouth. No- I drew back, hopelessly trying to call someone's name or just make an audible sound, but it was all muffled by the finger that was now gagging me. Lucius, Mike! I tried to call them to us, driving my fists against the finger. If they-

"Honestly, Azure..."
Bravery simply left me. My heart, feeling paper-thin, seemed to melt into nothing at that voice. A pulp in my chest. I froze in place, totally immobilised by those two words, by that voice. That accursed voice. And the pause that lingered in the air only made things worse.
"How many times have I told you to be quiet?" The words came in a breath. A horribly soft sound, throbbing in my ears. Menacing.
Screaming inwardly, I didn't dare look up. I knew that tone far too well. Desensitised—Calm? Is that what I had been feeling just a minute ago? How had I ever been calm even for a breath when he was here with us?

The sudden lurching of the forest was my only warning that Sam had decided to lift me to his face. Oh no, oh please no- The front of my chest was battered by my pounding heart. You would have thought I would get used to it all after a while— the tallness, the fear, the ever-present threat to his every movement... but no. Each time the human spoke to me, looked at me, it was just as bad as it had been that evening by the lake. I felt like a child who had never learned how to be brave.
When the fist that was clenching me loosened, for one heart-stopping second I thought that he was going to drop me. Then I realised that if being dropped from this height would mean he let me go, I would have endured it. I would have endured anything if it would make this guy leave us alone...
Instead, the gripping pressure moved to my my middle and I found that the only thing holding me up was his finger and thumb, pressed to my stomach and back. Resisting the urge to shudder took every drop of my strength— Don't you dare. This was already far worse than being trapped in a fist.