Wolves Without Teeth ── theodore nott ¹ ( UNDER EDITING )

chapter eighteen

       

       𝕮hristmas came and went without a word, without a single tear. She awoke, seeing presents sitting on the bottom of her chosen bed with her eyes sore from the heartache that choked her heart. She was quick to note that there wasn't a single present from her parents, her sister, nor her cousin, she wasn't exactly sure what hurt worse. Nothing from her parents or nothing from Cordelia, it only twisted her misery into anger. At least she had a jumper that Molly knitted her for Christmas. ( A dark navy blue with silver thread marking her knitted W in the middle. She had thrown it on almost instantly, her heart swelling with something she hadn't felt in ages. Comfort. )

  She had continued throughout Christmas day with the jumper wrapped tightly around her, her fingers tugging on the sleeves with the twist of her silver ring on her finger. The picture tucked into the pocket of her jeans, all things kept on her. Though she'd never admit it, she had a small broken compact tucked in her front pocket. And she especially didn't ask questions nor worry when Harry appeared after visiting Arthur and told her 'they're both okay.'

Despite the fact that she wanted to, despite the fact that the need was so great she was sure she would die from the pain, she didn't ask.

It wasn't until New Year's Eve rolled around that she managed to escape her room of self pity, her feet covered in fuzzy red socks skipped downstairs. Loud music and voices swirled around her ears as she paused, hand holding the handle. It felt like a different life, one that was surely never able to be hers. One where family was just that, loud laughter and comfort wrapped in one. This world couldn't be hers, she was raised in a world where a hug was used as a way to whisper something full of disappointment in your ears and not just simply for comfort. She was raised in a world where children get their faces and entire beings burnt off the tree.

"There you are Poppins, I was worried you'd forget the way down," Sirius' voice trailed around her, loud and cheery in a way she hadn't heard from him. She turned her head to him, watching him lean against the first steps of the stairs, a glass full of ginger tinted liquid in his hands.

"So did I," she whispered, watching as the male's smile faltered for a moment before she recovered. "What's going on?" She questioned, her hand falling to her side, feeling the edges of her ring scrap against her finger.. An easy bubble of warmth circled her from the action, her shoulders relaxed.

"It's New Year's Eve, time for celebration," he spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and with the little she knew of Sirius, she had a feeling that it was. But it was the shadow of realization that hit her square in the chest, they would be returning to Hogwarts soon. Where everything became as real as the breaths she sucked in. "Come join us, it'll be good for you."

She almost chuckled at the fact, she had no idea what was good for her. She spent her days reading or staring at the broken compact, dread filling her bloodstream and circling her ears. Guilt was the primary emotion she experienced these days, guilt that she didn't tell Cordelia beforehand. She had her chances, and yet every time she froze, covered. She thought she was still doing the right thing, if she were to be honest, she still did.

"Alright, you don't have a say, Poppins. I'll drag you if I have to, so let's go," Sirius spoke suddenly, catching her attention from where it was staring at the kitchen door, his hand reaching up and snagging around her wrist as he tugged her down. She had the single thought to stubbornly stay put, but she wasn't raised as a heathen. So she gave in, with a grumbled sigh and a frown jutting across her lips.

Almost instantly, the cheers and music coming from the kitchen grew louder as the door opened. Exposing them to a world of redheads who were all laughing, food piled upon tables as her eyes caught upon it all. She wasn't a stranger to parties, her family threw one every Christmas Eve. She used to attend the Malfoy's New Year's Eve ball as a child, and their Summer Solstice parties. It was all fancy dresses, overly rich people with too much money falling out of their asses. Ballroom dances which haunted her everywhere she went, she had been paired with Draco one year, where she made a point to step on his toes at least three times.