Him and I (Our Abrupt Engagement)

Chapter 35

Wipe the tears off my face
Honey, times are getting hard
I just get lost trying to figure you out
I just get mad when you're pinning me down

~Last night - Duncan Laurance~

Everything was spinning and i was feeling nauseous. Looking at him, he held a cigarette in one hand and the other hand was wrapped around a blonde but not any blonde but the one I dreaded to see most, Jenna.

She sat on his lap straddling him moaning as she also wrapped her arms around his neck. They had not realised that someone had entered the room.

I had a lump in my throat making me gulp to get it away but it was still there.

"Declan....." I involuntarily called his name making the two heads turn to me.

Declan looked up at me making eye contact but something about his eyes was different. The usual shining black was darker and held no emotion. He seemed surprised to see me though.

"Baby... Its your ....." Jenna started talking in her high pitched voice but was cut off by Declan who pushed her off his lap.

"Tiana?" He stood up from bed. Messy hair, an unbuttoned shirt and he was staggering. "What are you doing here?" He asked emotionless looking at me intensely.

It hurt that he would ask why I was there yet he had told me to meet him. Maybe he had wanted to put up an act just to break up with me.

I finally cleared my voice not to sound choked and on the verge of tears. "You told me to come, didn't you?" Surprisingly, it came out normal.

He held out his hands and pulled me by my shoulder, looked me in the eye and said,"Tiana.... Look you were not supposed to see that, okay?"

Isn't this the part where they say, 'its not what it looks like' !

I looked back up at him but his eyes still held no emotion. I chuckled and shook my head, "Wow, I should have known."

I should have known it was all too good to be true. I should have known that I was no good girl to change the broken boy. I should have known that to him, all this was just an engagement which held him back from living his life. But most of all, I should have known that I could never have everything.

I looked up at him and gave him a sad smile and walked out on him.

"Tiana, wait! " he pulled me back.
"You have to listen to me."

"What else is here to listen to?" Tears were already streaming down my face.

"No no, don't cry, okay?" He said trying to wipe my tears but I hit his hand away. "I can explain."

"Then tell me that what I saw was a hallucination. That all that wasn't happening. That you were not being straddled by some other girl." I yelled at him and this time around, I was a crying mess. I didn't care whether he saw me at my weakest because anyway, I will forever be weak.

"I swear I didn't know what I was doing." He pulled his hair back leaning against the wall. " I really didn't know." He muttered in a low tone.

I wanted to believe him but who in their actual sense fails to know what they are doing.

"I think I have to go." I turned around and started walking away.

"No wait!" He held me back by my wrist but I pulled away and speed walked through the small hallway and out of the apartment.

Harry and Harvey looked at me with pity. I never knew what it was like to be looked at like that but it was discomforting so I looked away and walked ahead out of the place.

I focused my gaze ahead. I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't mind to look back, once I had closed the door behind me, I took the stairs and started running as far as my legs could carry me.

I didn't know when I was out of the building, I didn't even look back to see my car, I just wanted to keep running until my feet could not carry me anymore.

I didn't know that one day, I would still be running away. I hated myself for accepting false hope that I would finally stop running. If there was anybody to blame, it had to be me. For ever thinking everything would turn out to be perfect.

I ran further and finally found myself in the familiar walk way. The walkway to my house. Still running, I made it up to the door and knocked. I needed to be alone and I knew I would get that here.

The door opened and I was met with my dad who was taken by surprise.

"Tiana!" He gasped after seeing, "what's wrong baby?" He said pulling me inside into a hug.
Something I needed right then. I cried in his arms as he patted my back gently. "It's fine baby, I got you." He went on soothing me.

"Tiana, why are you hear sweetie?" I heard my mom's voice from behind us.

"You can tell us baby." My dad said finally pulling away from the hug.

I felt weak for coming back here but most of all, I felt pathetic. I didn't want to look at my parents' faces so I did one thing I could, I ran upstairs to my room, closed the door behind me and finally broke down.

I could not even put a hand on why I was crying but still, I cried.
I wanted all the pain I was feeling to go away.

Everything for the past few weeks was very perfect but when did the word perfect ever have meaning in my life. Every time I thought I had everything in place, it would all stumble and break down.

Declan had also finally realised that everything I put a hand on would not last.

I should have seen this from my parents. After having me, my mom could not conceive again and every time she did, something always went wrong.

Everywhere I went, I was a burden. I was just the perfect little daughter who thought I was putting everything in place yet in actual sense, I was making things Fall apart.

Eventually, all people would get to know it.

I cried all the tears I had left until i couldn't cry anymore.

I stood, went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. Looking at myself in the mirror, there I was. The perfect little daughter but I wasn't going to be that anymore.

One thing I had learnt from all this, I would have to keep running away.

I wiped the remaining tears and made my one last decision, I was going to be myself. The girl who can't face her problems but always runs away from them.

I went to bed with one thing in mind. Talk to Mom and Dad and tell them the one solution I have always had my whole life, I wanted to get away from here.

Far away from the people I had started growing close to. It didn't matter what anybody would lose. I had to be selfish.

With that thought in mind, I drifted off to sleep.

Maybe, the following day would make it all better.

_____________

Shorter than usual

Vote and comment
Ly ♡♡