Chapter 141: Seventh Year: Star Star
Summary:
Unpleasant Walpurga related stuff in this chapter - shit parenting in general, as well as Sirius ptsd regarding that.
C-word occurs once in this chapter.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
He could have told James and Sirius straight away, if he'd wanted to. Could have played the hero, enjoyed the spotlight and being the cause of their joy. But he didn't. He told himself it was to preserve Alexander Gordon's privacy, or to respect McGonagall's authority. But the truth was that he just didn't want anything to do with it at all.
Obviously he wanted Sirius to be happy. Obviously he didn't want to be an obstacle to Sirius's happiness. And obviously he wanted Gryffindor to beat Slytherin in the final match; for James to have his moment of glory. He didn't want to see Sirius punished forever for a mistake he made at sixteen. He didn't want betrayal to hang over them like that, or to bring it all up again. And yet, there it was.
Remus had forgiven Sirius, back in the Potters' bathroom two years ago; had absolved a truly repentant boy with blood on his hands and sorrowful eyes. It had been before they understood each other, before so many other good memories, of good things which had changed their friendship. But Remus hadn't forgotten how it had felt. Sirius could destroy him completely without even meaning to. If anything, Remus was even more vulnerable to that now than he had been at sixteen.
No, Remus told himself. There was a difference between atonement and revenge. Sirius had earned this.
On Monday morning, James received a note from McGonagall, asking to see him before quidditch practice. He hurried off without even finishing his breakfast - nothing was more important than the final match. Marlene and Yaz began speculating on what it could be, Peter and Sirius leaning across the table eagerly to join in. Remus just waited, feeling half pleased and half something else. As breakfast was finishing, James's muffled voice began emanating from the two-way mirror Sirius's robe pocket.
"Padfoot! Padfoot! Quidditch pitch! Now!"
"What'dyou reckon he wants?" Sirius scratched his head as they got up from the table.
"Oh, I think you'll like it." Remus replied, cryptically. "Go on, he sounds excited."
"You know what it is, don't you?" Sirius eyed him suspiciously.
"Maybe."
"Don't you want me to walk you to Care of Magical Creatures?"
"I'll manage. Go! Hurry!"
Remus didn't see James and Sirius again until lunch, and both of them were grinning from ear to ear. James had the quidditch schedule out and was marking out extra practice days so that Sirius could get back up to speed.
"You were right," Sirius beamed, practically bouncing in his seat as Remus arrived, "I did like it."
Remus just smiled back. It was enough to see him happy; and if love was something you did, then Remus hoped this was enough.
"What are you so happy about?" Marlene asked, sitting down opposite ther boys.
"Say hello to your new beater," Sirius burst out.
James laughed, nodding.
"Oh!" Marlene smiled brightly, "Excellent! Er... what happened to Gordon?"
"Gone home." James replied, "Not supposed to ask."
"Ah. Well, anyway," Marlene shook her head, "That's fantastic, I've missed having you watching my back. So how come McGonagall let you? I thought you got kicked off for doing something unspeakable...?"
