AMAZAYN

chapter 13

Harry stood in silence confused
"What do you mean zayn is the father ? Nicole how is that possible ?"

I began to slowly speak
"It all started on the day after the concert , when we all were at the fair ."

He sat down and held my hand
"OK so then what happened?"

I began slow again
"That night at the fair ,zayn and I kissed on the ferris wheel , and one thing led to another and -"
Harry cut me off

"And you ended up awakening in his bed. I remember . But zayn told us nothing happened "
I looked at hairy ,teary eyed

"Well something did happen, and now because of that something" I began to break down
"My baby may not ever get to know who her father is "

Harry sat In silence for a moment then wrapped his arms around me in tight grip
"It's gonna be alright " he said " but you have to tell zayn"

I whipped my face
"I can't Harry , what's the point? He doesn't want me "

Harry looked me in the eyes
" but u can still tell him Nicole you have to."

I began to slowly grow Impatient with Harry
"OK , let's say I tell him zinobia his then what? Their will still be perry !" I said raising my voice

Now Harry began to grow impatient with me
"But then at least he would be able to provide for his daughter!" Harry began to raise his voice

Now I was really impatient
"WELL THATS NOT ENOUGH !" I shouted standing up pacing back and forth in front of the sofa where hairy was sitting

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS NOT ENOUGH, DON YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO HAVE HER FATHER !?" Harry fussed while looking up at me

I continued to pace back and forth
" OF COURSE I WANT HER TO KNOW HER FATHER, I WANT THE WORLD FOR HER !"
"WELL WHY IS THAT NOT ENOUGH NICOLE !?" Harry said standing grabbing my arm to stop me from walking

"DON TOUCH ME !" I rejected and yanked away

"NO! " he shouted "ANSWER ME !"
I turned around to him
"BECAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH HIM." I said yelling so loud I was surprised I didn't spit on Harrys face or that I didn't hear zinobia crying

Harry stood in silence looking at the floor
"I was in love with him then and , im still in love with him now ."
Harry sat back down on the couch in silence

" you don't know how it feels, to love so hard , to wait a WHOLE YEAR on someone watching them go out and live their lives while you sit on the side lines just waiting. And all your doing is spending your time thinking and dreaming about when you're going to see them again . And the whole time you think they're doing the same. Only to end up running into a brick wall in the end . And not only that but out of that year u spend 9 months of them pregnant and depressed . "

"I didn't really,think of it that way, I'm sorry Nicole "
I sat down by Harry
"It's ok, you know if I didn't have zinobia , my feelings would've been hurt but I would've gotten over it . But this is my babies father Harry. I'm a 20 year old mother, and I don't have any family, a grandmother , or a mother to help me and teach me how to be a mother ." I began to cry " this past year without you guys has been then hardest year of my life , I've been so stressed and upset . Do you know I was gonna have an abortion? But then I thought about how much I loved zayn and he loved me and how we'd be a family again when he got back. then a few months later I had made up my mind to give zinobia up for adoption. But something happened when I gave birth to her . When I first looked into her eyes and she looked back into mine and I instantly felt this connection. When I saw how much she looked like me and zayn. When I felt her little soft hands touch me . I knew that I loved her and I could never let her go. And that's when my life changed I had to learn how to be a mother, I'm not in school anymore because there's no one to look after zinobia and I can't afford day care so I'm living off the money my grandmother left me when she died . Grace and I fell out when she found out I was pregnant. She said she couldn't believe I could be so stupid to sleep with someone I just met , and didn't care about me . But I wouldn't listen to her so she left . We're not friends anymore. I have no one. "