Save me, please. -A Salvis Fanfiction

How are you?

Sal's Pov

As soon as I arrive back home, the sick feeling takes over me again. Travis kind of distracted me and now that he's gone I can't stop my thoughts from going wild. 

How long have they been watching us?

How much do they know?

Back in my apartment I take a look at my clock. It's 2:30pm, so I have to go over to Todd's in a few minutes. At the thought of that my insides make a disgusting turn. What if we won't be able to find a solution to this? 

!VERY VERY HUGE TW SELFH4RM! 

(if you need to skip this part, look for the !TW ENDS!)

I try to shake off the thoughts but they overcome me. It's my fault we're all into this now. I pulled them into this shit. All of them, Ash, Todd, Larry and today almost even Travis. 

It's my fault.

Another very familiar feeling takes over me. An undescribable emptiness paired with my thoughts being screamed at me. It's impossible to ignore them and I can't hear anything else at this point.

It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.

If I would've been more careful then this wouldn't be happening right now. None of them would be in danger.

My eyes fall on my bedside cupboard, knowing damn well what's inside of there. I haven't cut since Travis was here. I don't want to lose my streak again but I know too well that it's the only way to make my head stop screaming and to make my knees stop shaking. 

Without hesistation I grab my razor blade out of the cupboard and roll up my sleeves. I take a quick look at my arm. There were some old, already fading scars and some newer ones. All of them were closed, tho. No fresh ones. I can't remember the last time I've seen my arm like this.

I need to make it stop.

It's my fault.

They all hate me for what I've done.

It's my fault.

MAKE IT STOP.

The blade cuts deep into my skin and the familiar feeling of  relief pushes away the thoughts. I let out a deep breath. 

More...

At this point I can't fight it anymore. 

I do it another time. And another time. As often as I need to silence my  fucking head.

These fucking screams. 

It's my fault. And I know it.

I don't know how long I sat there but at some point I realized that I had to meet Todd and the others.

I can't let them find me like this. I take a quick look at my clock and I still have 10min before I have to be there.

I'm a lot more relaxed now, so I put away the blade and  start to bandage up my arm. Then I get some towels to clean up the blood. After I made sure that there's no evidence left of what I've just done, I make my way into Todd's apartment. 

!TW SELFH4RM ENDS!

As I arrive at Todd's apartment, Lar and Todd are already sitting in his room waiting for the rest.

"Ah, there's Sal." Todd announces as I walk through the door and gets up from his desk chair.