Life sucks ~ Treebros

Hansen?

tw, sui thoughts, also artwork isnt mine! listen to that instrumental whilst reading this. if you know the song, need to talk?...

Evan Hansen. 17. Lonely, cold, empty. He needed help. But he refused it. He had a therapist, sure, but just like most people, he lied to him. His entire life was built on lies. So he was going to end it. He lifted his head. Tallest tree...

It wasn't that far from where he was standing. It failed once, would it fail again? 

He shook his head vigorously, as if to shake all the thoughts out of it. He'd only get worse if he didn't end it now. He'd be doing both himself and everyone who knew him a favour. 

"I'm a burden." he whispered to himself. "The world is better off without me, I'm a damn burden..."

He was shaking. He hadn't eaten much, or anything, lately. Nor slept. He was gonna pass out, if not die. His heart was screaming at him to not give up, whilst his brain was shoving him off the edge. He was gonna fall apart, break into thousands of little pieces. He wanted to be held in someone's arms tight, for them to tell him that he mattered. That he was worth something. Worth anything at all. 

But they'd be lying. He was completely worthless, in his eyes. 

Evan kicked a rock. He wanted all his thoughts gone. He wanted himself gone. What was he to do?

He looked around. He was alone. Maybe now?....

He thought. What about his mum? Would she even notice he was gone? And Jared? Did Jared even care about him? His dad? His dad who was raising another family? 

And Zoe?

The same Zoe who didn't know he even existed. Well, he wouldn't in just a few short minutes. There were too many questions filling his brain. He took a deep breath and gazed up at a tall tree. The tallest in the forest. 

He started climbing. The world would be better without him. He tried not to cry as he climbed higher and higher. Everything seemed colder from up here. Or at least Evan felt so.

He shivered and looked down. Damn, he was high.

Well, no. He had made sure to never. Ever. Do drugs. 

His thoughts were heavy on him. It was like a backpack dragging him down. He got to the top of the tree, shaking. He looked around, as if to say a final goodbye. Or a "You're Welcome"  to the world for getting rid of one more problem. 

He felt sick. 

Really sick. 

His vision became hazy as his head got heavy. "Help..."

But no help was gonna come. No one cared. He was gonna fall, even if he didn't jump, he was gonna fall...

"HELP!"

"That wasn't my voice..."  Evan thought. Who did it belong to? Were they yelling for help for him? Did they even notice him? Did they care?  It was familiar. Evan tried to connect the dots in the few seconds of life he had left. Then it clicked. 

Connor was staring at his curled up figure falling to the ground, trying to find out who it belonged to. 

Evan shut his eyes, having already given up. It would end in five.... four... three... two...

One never came. 

Connor screamed. He rushed to his side. "WHAT THE HELL, HANSEN?!"

Evan didn't hear him. Nor see him. He didn't know his surroundings. 

Connor checked his pulse in a hurry. What little colour was left in his face was gone. He stopped breathing and stared at the small body. 

He had just watched his classmate die.