Misery -Harry Styles Fanfic-

Chapter 1

December 31, 2013

"They say love is blind, but love is not. It is filled with the fears that live inside of you. It is painful and is bloody. For me, love is bruises and cuts. It is rough kisses and bloody fights. Love is unjustified. Anybody can put on a fake, plastered smile, but not everyone can hide the tears and pain underneath.

Lucky for me, I can do both. I don't know what drives people to be inhumane, and I don't want to find out. All I can hope for is light at the end of the tunnel because there is no light left in my body.

Everyday, people look so happy, and I wish that they could face the same obstacles I do. I am not sure why I am still with H. That is yet to be discovered.

Some days I fall hopelessly in love with him, and other days I wish he would die. I can tell by the burning fury in his eyes, that he only sees me as property, and that he will never truly love me. When will this misery end?"

With that I closed my journal. I heaved a heavy sigh, as if that would lift my burdens away. "Just another day in paradise." I said sarcastically. Normally, I wouldn't be in such a good mood, but Harry hadn't shown up last night to beat me. That was a good sign. Hopefully, he was passed out drunk at his friend's house.

Lazily, I rolled out of bed and got dressed. Might as well get out of the house before Harry got home. I padded down the cool stairs and walked into the kitchen. All I could muster down was a bowl of cereal because I was so afraid Harry would walk through the door at any moment.

"Knock,knock. Anybody home?" Shit. Harry was home. My happiness was about to vanish. I carefully cleaned up my mess in the kitchen and headed back up to my bedroom. Quietly, I tiptoed up the stairs. I threw on my pj's and laid back in bed. Hopefully, he would still be drunk as fuck and think that I am asleep.

"Lila, where are youuu? I have a surprise for you." Harry belted out. God, his surprises were never good. Usually, they had to do with sex, and I was in no mood for that. Please, please, please don't bother me. I heard a slight knock on the door. "Lila, open up. If you aren't awake when I come in I will choke you." Yeah, he definitely wasn't drunk. I sat up in the bed. The door knob slowly turned and the door was swung open. "Morning lovely. How about a good morning kiss?" Harry rasped. I got up and walked over to Harry. My small composure barely compared to Harry's tall structure. His brown curls were side swept and messy as ever. His green orbs shone brightly, but were darker than usual. "Morning Harry." I looked down at my toes. "Lila, look at me when you speak. Let me see your face." Reluctantly I looked up. His facial expressions were hard.

"I hope you didn't miss me too much last night." A slight smirk appeared on his face. Harry leaned down to my ear. His lips graze passed my cheek and he whispered, "Between me and you, the girl I fucked last night was nowhere as easy as you." My mouth hung open. So that's where he was. Sleeping with another girl. Even though Harry hit me and choked me, it still made me mad that he would sleep with other girls. What a skank. "Real manly of you Harry. You never even crossed my mind anyways." Harry drew back. I wasn't finished. "I wish you would've stayed with her and treated her as horribly as you to me, you bastard." Now he was mad. I knew what was coming.

Harry's jaw tightened. His fists balled up. I knew what was about to happen. Before I could even try to protect myself, Harry's hand made contact with my face. A stinging sensation came immediately. I could feel my eyes tearing up. For a second time, Harry's hand made contact with my face. There was sure to be a mark. The tears were now running at a steady flow from my eyes. My face ached. He put so much force behind each hit. "Serves you right, you bitch. Lucky for you, it's the only thing I did." Harry remarked, "Now why don't you clean up and we will go out. Oh yeah, and make sure you put make up on that ugly face of yours." By now my vision had blurred up, so I had no idea where Harry was. I sank down to the floor and cried until the pain on my face subsided. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. So much for a good day.

Once I regained my composure, I walked to my closet and picked out an oversized sweater to cover up my bruised arms. I put on a pair of legging and braided my hair. I deemed my self okay and walked down the stairs. Harry was sitting in the living room on the couch. I walked in and sat on the other side of the room. Hoping to gain distance. Harry glanced over at me and motions for me to sit beside him. I nodded my head no and again, his jaw clenched. He walked over to me grabbed my wrists forcibly and picked me up. He sat me down beside of him and finally let go. I rubbed my wrists. More bruising for sure. "Now, I don't want any trouble from you today okay?" I nodded yes. He continued, "We are going out to eat so I expect you to stay by my side and not be out of my eyesight for even a second. Is that understood?" His eyes pierced into my soul and all that could come out of me was a low whisper, "Y-yes Har-r-ry." He smirked at me. "Excellent. Let's get going."

I don't know which is worse, acting like Harry and I are the perfect couple or seeing Harry act like Mr. Nice Guy. Both of those are lies. So I guess, neither is worse than the other. Anyways, Harry was taking me out for dinner to a fancy Mexican restaurant. Whatever Harry does for a living makes good money. I truly no nothing about him. I mean, he doesn't let me in so how could I know anything? Secretly, I wish we could have a normal relationship. What can I say, Harry's a hottie. His eyes are so beautiful, and his lips are so pink and just kissable. On the outside, he looks like the kind of guy who would cuddle up with you and kiss you tenderly. It's not fair. Why does the devil look like an angel?

I got myself dressed and walked downstairs. Harry looked me up and down one too many times for my liking. "You look sexy. I know what we'll be doing later." He winked. My face flushed. He chuckled, revealing his dimples. I swear, those were the hottest thing about him. Damn. After Harry finished checking me out, we walked outside and got into Harry's mustang. Inside, it smelled like Harry. Like a Bahama Breeze. He turned the key and the car revved up. The stereo blasting 3oh!3's Starrstrukk. "....L-O-V-E is just another word I'll never learn to pronounce..." Harry quickly changed the station. "...Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword puzzle, and realizing there was no right answer..." And with that, Harry turned off the radio. I praise you Taylor Swift for making that song. I'm pretty sure that Harry was beginning to feel uncomfortable. I just sat there and looked out the window. "Erm, so my mum and Gemma are going to be eating with us." How perfect. I shot Harry a look of disgust. If only his mom knew, she'd be disgusted. "How delightful." Harry glared at me. "Look, I don't fucking care if you don't like me or my family, but you're staying with me no matte what. You are mine." I scoffed, what a load of bullshit. "Harry, I'm not yours, and I don't wanna be. This 'relationship' sucks ass." His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Look, you either stay with me or you go back to your dead mother and father. Take your pick." My mouth widened with horror. Nobody had ever talked about my parents in such a way. "You never met my parents and I would rather be sea with them than with you!" I screamed, "Fuck you." Harry slammed on the brakes and pulled over to the curb. He whipped out his phone and dialed a number.

"Hey mom. Yeah so we aren't going to make it tonight. Lila's sick and we need to go home right away." I held my breath. "Yeah we will reschedule this for next weekend. Okay? Love you too. Bye." And with that he clicked end. Harry turned to me and smirked. "Looks like we're going home early. Trust me, you're about to pay." All I could do was gulp. I was frozen with fear.