They say I should've moved on by now.
Like when I was highflying, I couldn't hit the ground.
Like my world was never gonna fall.
As if you even opened up your walls.
I stutter as I feel the collision.
I'm awake in my own delusion.
A visionary In love with zero conclusions.
Just how deep is my illusion.
Well at night I dream of us.
Happy and still in love.
A perfect couple, no broken trust.
Kids, family, marriage, all fun.
Then I wake up/
And I see that I messed with the luck/
Called you out of your name and I regret that/
Talked big game as if I could get you back/
But you want me to be friends/
As if ready to begin, hit send, when we end, I play pretend, and imagine we're in love again/
I hate this game, the one where I look at my family, and remember I'm a lame, that I should've stayed in my own lane, and dealt with all my person pain, my demons that drive me insane, hate me and make me feel like I'm going down the drain/
I despise my life, and all its strife, I'm not gonna lie, I've dreamt of dying by my own knife, getting high, and flying higher than any kite/
I wanna forget my heartbreak, take a break, and awake and life a life without any at stake, walk down the street and be admired, die and actually have people at my wake, my heart beats like an earthquake, false smiles all around, everyone's fake/
I want to smile, haven't for awhile, don't want to live through this dogpile, escape and negate all my drama, just chill and never feel extra the mile, that I walk in just to have people treat me like a child, my death should be legendary, wanna go out in style/
Not a dry eye, people telling each other it's fine, he'll rise, again like a eagle, everybody cries, and for one day, people will understand the pain I felt, that caused my life to go down the drain, dirtier than a pie style, eye for an eye, I never meant to lie, just wanted to understood, but y'all didn't care enough to ask why, I'm not okay, and you could've tried, five words, and now you guys have gotta say goodbye as my spirit kisses the sky//)
