Bloodshed - DC
I've seen the sky.
Changed the palette.
As it fell to the ground.
And I've seen my heart in my hands, and crushed it.
It'll never heal.
I don't what's the deal.
I reached out and saw myself off on a movie reel.
All the happy memories become bad as they change to reveal -
All my tears/
My broken deals/
The destruction of myself, lost in my feels/
Everyone wants me dead, I can't escape the judgement/
My exes are happy, and I've never gotten to an engagement/
Even my friends don't care about my derailment/
To them I'm just another degenerate/
Im ugly: repugnant/
Hopeless, defenseless/
Alone, and lonely/
Losing mentally, I'm fighting through the pain, trying to see past the resentment/
But it's hard, so hard.
All I ever wanted was to be a superstar.
But I can't go far.
I'm nothing but a ghost to them.
A guy wishing he had a drink from a bar.
Just to forget my pain.
To watch it all go away.
Even for a little bit.
To escape the grey.
Im afraid.
Afraid to branch out, I'm to blame.
Nobody really loves me, they don't know my name.
I've been struggling to cope, been playing games.
Can't recall her face, I don't wanna forget her, it's strange.
The more I want to be happy, the more my life gets crappy.
People have kids.
I can't get the courage to keep laughing.
To keep the party going and avoid snapping.
I'm not who they think I am.
I'm a monster beneath my skin.
A premonition born from within.
My demons they all have smug grins.
They truly are my only friends.
They haunt me, and taunt me/
Laugh and point as I bleed/
Tell me it's fine to feel lonely/
But I never knew how to be this free/
And I hate this feeling/
This being single thing/
I want kids and a wife: nobody sees my needs/
They say there's many fish in the sea/
Yeah, but even fish need to feed/
Even sharks have greed/
I've seen the struggle/
I'm wrongfully trapped In this bubble/
Stuck beneath emotional rubble/
I'm going through all of this trouble/
And the reality is a farce.
Many can't see past the start.
But it feels like I'm nearing the finish.
Going insane, with the pain and a grimace.
I wanna cry.
I've been thinking about what they'd do if I died.
Would mom cry?
Would they rejoice that I'm finally gone?
Would they see that I'm finally not that strong?
Could they finally see that I've done everything I did to do right, never wrong?
I doubt it.
Nobody understands my plight.
I've tried doing right.
But nobody wants to marry me.
I might as well lose with a twist.
