Kim Jisoo, a senior high student. The typical bright, bubbly girl with straight A grades. She has a lot of friends who got her back most especially her best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Whom was by her side since they were kids. Her life is great. What el...
As we enter the house, no one uttered a word. We didn't talk about it in the hospital. It's like we both know we both weren't ready to say it to each other.
No.
Maybe not just the right place.
"Mom," I called her right after I sit on the couch.
I heard her whimper. We barely even started yet she's already starting to shed tears. She couldn't meet my eyes. She stayed near the door, standing solitarily there.
I called her again. "Mom, I-"
"When was it?" She asked. "When did you knew?"
"A year ago" I softly answered.
She turned to face me, eyes widen. "That long, Ji?" I saw her big tears flowing from her cheeks. My heart sunk at what I'm witnessing. "That long and you didn't even managed to tell me?!" She stated in a such a plaintive cry.
"I couldn't Mom!" I answered back. "I don't want to." I wailed at her.
"Why, Jisoo?" She yelled. "I'm your mother! I'm supposed to-"
"And let you suffer more?!" I mewled pathetically. "I know your secret, Mom!"
I went near to her and stared into her naked eyes, the portal to her soul. Her exposed vulnerable and unprotected sense.
Her eyebrows knitted. "I know how you secretly go to a psychologist every weekend and get treatment for depression."
I saw how my Mom's bawled her eyes out from crying at what she just heard from my mouth. It was her deepest secret but I knew. I saw that crumpled piece of receipt in the trash labelled a monthly supply of anti-depressant.
"I know!" I cried my lungs out. "So, I'm sorry for not telling you but I don't want to be a burden!"
I continued. "I felt like being the daughter that killed your husband is already enough, don't you think?!"
I couldn't take it anymore. I stumbled on the ground, laughing and crying hard like a maniac. I'm laughing because I feel pathetic and crying because she now found out. Now, she's going to get worse because of me.
My Mom went to her knees and hugged me right away. She embraced me tight as I muttered my sorry's again and again.
We both stayed on the ground as we both cried out our pain away.
***
I woke up in my mother's bed. I felt my body ache, my throat dried out and my eyes felt so sore.
Suddenly, the door opened. I immediately tried to stand up but failed when I felt nauseous.
"Don't push yourself," She said, and pulled me back to bed. "Here, drink some water."
As I lean my back on the headrest, I drank slowly avoiding my Mom's gaze. The incident earlier was quite intense but I'm glad we did it. I've never been this honest to myself ever since then. I meant every word I said.
I poured it all out until I was put into a slumber.
"Ji, hon," I passed the empty bottle to her, not even giving her a glance. "Can we talk calmly now?"
"Please," She pleaded.
I slowly look at her and right there and then, I'm already on the verge of crying again. I'm really weak when it comes to my Mom.
"Ji," She holds my hand. "It's not your fault. You're young. You-"
"No, mom. I should have known better." I firmly said.
"I should have stopped Dad from driving, I full know well he's drunk. I should have forced him not to get the idea of following them to the airport. Instead, I lead him to his death and I-" My mom immediately made a loud hush to calm me while tightening her grip on my hand.
I looked down as I felt myself shedding tears again.
"Jisoo, please don't let that accident bring you down," She wiped my tears and turn my face to her. "Even I have these thoughts that bothered me a lot, that leads me to more misery."
I saw how her tears slowly fall in her face. "How I regret that I couldn't uphold your Dad. I couldn't keep up. Like you right now, I felt helpless."
"But Ji, honey. I'm fine now. You know that, right?" She gave me a smile. "I don't go to the doctor anymore."
She continued. "Don't let the darkness get to you. Don't make the same mistake that I did." I stared at her as I let out a whimper. I immediately hugged her tight.
"I'm sorry, Mom." I wailed, voice cracked. "I'm so sorry."
She kissed my temple as she brushed my back softly. "I love you, Ji. Always remember that."
I sniffed. "I love you, too Mom." I answered. "So much."
***
The next morning, I decided not to go to school and take a whole day rest. My mom's out for groceries and I was just in bed, staring at nowhere when suddenly I decided to turn my phone on.
I was bombarded with 37 missed calls and 61 messages. All from my friends and club members. I opened and read it all, smiling at the thought.
Namjoon: I heard. Don't worry, I'll watch the Club for you and in the mean time, do take good care of yourself, Ji.
Jin: I miss you, my little look alike sister. Do keep safe. Love you *blow kiss emoji
Chaeyoung: Jisoo Kim! Please tell me you're okay? I miss you so much. Call me, please!
Jimin: Ms Press, you're missing a lot in school. I'm not talking about acads though, it's the fun I'm talking about. Do come back soon!
Hoseok: My sunshine twinny. Oh, how I miss you so much. I miss our shared laugh. We miss you sunshine, please talk to us.
Yoongi: Hey, Ji. I know we're not that close but the club misses you. Tbh, I missed you. Jennie's been whining at me non-stop so please call.
Jennie: I'm so disappointed, Jisoo. Not a single text or call. You didn't say anything to us. To me. I thought we're soul mates? You got my back, you know that, right? So please, open up. Please, talk to me.
I replied back to all of them and tell them I'm fine.
I sighed as I closed my eyes roughly. I've already done enough discomfort. I don't want them to feel that way no more.
A new message then popped up on my notifications. It was an unknown number.
Unknown Number: We need to talk.
Unknown Number: I hope you're okay.
My heart missed it's beat making it flutter.
Unknown Number: I miss you. -Taetae.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
