03. 11. 20
I live everyday of not expecting for anyone to understand me even a little- well I tried anyways.
I have lived my life under the statement of, "Everything is my fault."
I have lived every hour not expecting someone to listen or comfort me. Or even see and notice how I so badly want to cry.
Every time things happened where I am in a situation where I am always misunderstood or that they don't take a second to think of what I truly meant.
Their words..the tone of their voices where you can feel them say indirectly that "You're in the wrong. It's your mistake, admit it."
I merely let out a sigh, a "It's nothing." and then kept silent.
All nearly eighteen years of my life, I have lived this way.
Where even if I tell them word by word of what I trully feel, they won't exactly understand. They would try to put the blame on others instead or they wont take action at all even after seeing and hearing everything!!
So... I just..gave up.
No one will trully understand. No one will ever listen. No one will ever see. No one will ever notice.
No one will ever stay by my side, give me a pat on the head or a hug and tell me, "it's okay."
It never happened and I think that it never will.
A heavy heart. Suppressed tears. Silent screams. A tired soul.
I have lived like this for a while now. I think I'll end up living the same in the future.
They say,
"You may lose everything but don't ever lose hope."
Ironic.
What is there to hope when you lost everything?
Oh, wait.
I don't have anything in the first place.
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Just Thoughts
De TodoA collection of thoughts and ideas that just came about one overthinking day. Nothing too important. Maybe a few realizations and more unanswered questions. Enjoy. Or perhaps not.
