Just Thoughts

XI

11.06.20

The things that happens over and over again is something that's dangerous.

An event that happens every time as if on replay, in a loop without an end. The more it happens the more you get used to it and the more you get used to it the more it becomes a part of your everyday life.

And end up as something normal.

For you, it'll become a natural and normal occurrence. You'll stop thinking and wishing for a change and accept it as it is. You'll stop thinking about it because it hurts, it's painful when no one listens or sees.

You'll end up losing the will to fight back because this abnormality just became normality. You would end up saying,

"Ah, yup. This is happening again. Nothing changes. Just like my everyday life for the last seventeen years of my life."

And then when someone or something comes -an outsider barges into your life who makes a difference in your so called normal reality, you cling onto them for their life.

You are now looking for that abnormality, the change, the disturbance in the cycle in which you go over and over again every single day. You fell dependent on that little change like holding onto the root while you dangle in the air on a cliff with monsters below waiting with their jaws wide open.

Now this is where everything goes to the dark side.

You held onto that light in the midst of the darkness in your reality. You held onto your false- no, temporary hope so strongly as if it's the only thing keeping your sanity.

And when that root breaks, when that light dissapears and that hope vaporizes into thin air all of a sudden,

You'll find yourself in a much darker place, plunge to a more deeper darkness than ever before. More hurt now that you've felt that slight change and peacefulness.

You stood alone in the darkness once more.

And the question now is, what will you do after?

Let yourself drown? Be pulled under, deeper, by your own self?

No, you shouldn't.

You shouldn't wait for another ray of light to come shining down on you. You shouldn't ever desperately look for roots to hold on.

Be the light you once hold onto for dear life. Spread your wings as you fall or even if you're ravished by the jaws of monsters below the cliff. Swim upwards from the darkest depths to the light of the surface.

Because if you do this, you'll be in a much higher place than when you were first pushed into the darkness.

Fight, fly, be free.

Be the light that may have falter in its steps and flicker due to problems but held on and never goes off.

Never surrender to the darkness.